My Life: Its Twists and Turns
by RoseKristyIvashkov
Summary: What happens when Rose's life changes after she meets two new guys who arrive at the university, guys who she likes, guys who are brothers? love, betrayl, friendship, family...all is tested in loyalty when love is on the line.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this is my fist fan fiction ever**

**I mean I love fan fiction, but who doesn't right?**

**Okay so please enjoy my cool version of the characters**

**Of the Vampire Academy stories**

**I most def don't own anything except my plot and characters I create**

**The most very talented Rachelle Mead owns it…but if she would be willing to give me Adrian, Christian, Dimitri…then I'll take them :]**

_Chapter 1_

_Life I So Desperately Don't Miss_

It was sunny, a gentle breeze, a clear blue sky, and me…all alone laying on a towel on the beach. Soaking up some rays.  
It couldn't get better than this…my own personal drama free zone. The sounds of the waves crashing…nothing and I mean nothing could ruin this.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP!_

I groaned and slowly opened my eyes to find the clear blue sky is gone, the sun **is** out but that's what's expected at eight in the morning.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP!_

I groaned louder and slammed my hand on the snooze button of that stupid alarm clock. I just lay there on my queen size bed, staring at my purple ceiling, well technically right now it's black. All my room's black. The only lighting is the alarm clock telling me desperately to wake up.

I don't even know why my 'mother' Janine even turned that stupid thing on. I mean I'm on my last day of summer vacation before I have to return to St. Vladimir's University tomorrow. Who even owns an alarm clock anymore? Cell phone alarms are more in than some stupid box on your dresser.

"Ugh, let me get up and get ready before Janine gets a fit for me being late for this discussion she wants to have."

I reluctantly get up from my comfy bed and turned on the studio lights I had installed the last time I was here and took a look around my room. The big screen television, the desk with pictures of my friends on it, the 2 little drawers with lamps next to my bed. The posters all around my room made up of my favorite bands and singers. Paramore, Linkin Park, Papa Roach, American Hi-Fi, Hedley, Garbage, Flyleaf, Fall Out Boy, Hayley of Paramore, Lacey from Flyleaf and so much more.

The big window that looks like a flat screen with my curtains covering them. It was the only placed I missed when I went back to the university because at night the stars seemed so much within my reach and also because it took my breath away.

I didn't even have suitcases when I returned home. I only came back with the outfit I put on and I always leave with the outfit I pick out when I wake up.

The only thing I did bring was my small purse that contained my cell phone, I-pod, and camera. I bet you're wondering "where's the computer?" don't need one.

I have two laptops! One here at home on top on the drawer by my bed and the other one at the university in my dorm.

The wonderful perks of being filthy rich. Which include the best thing inside my room.

My walk in closet that seems endless if you ask me. Everything's in there. My jewelry, my sunglasses, shoes, the latest clothes I have my maid buy when I ask her too and my many other accessories.

I open the double doors of my closet and walk in all the way down to the end to check myself out in the mirror to see the damage of being an early riser.

When I reach the mirror I look at myself dressed in a black tank top with a skull on it, and my purple panty shorts with a star on the side.

Then I take a really good look at me. Messy bed hair, puffy eyes, all because of my four hours of sleep deprivation. But other than that I didn't find anything else wrong. Even with all these little flaws I could still say that I'm pretty. The light brown eyes, the chest, the curves, the smile, everything. I could still be the envy of any girl that was next to me.

Yes, that may sound conceited but I've never been told different.

Every guy I kissed, dated, met, have all told me the same thing. I'm beautiful.

I chuckled to myself, left my closet, walked into my bathroom, put my I-pod into its speakers pressed shuffle, and stepped into my nice cold shower.

After stepping out, picking out my favorite outfit: a fishnet purple shirt with a black tank top underneath, a purple-black checkered mini skirt with chains attached to it and my knee high leather boots purchased at my favorite store; I applied make-up, a little gel on my hair to slightly curl it and headed downtown in my limo to my mother's office to see what was so important.

* * *

I walked into Janine's office and I already had a bad feeling. I removed my sunglasses like detectives in the movies and walked up to Claudia: the receptionist.

"Hi Claudia, is she in?"

"Yes Rose she's been expecting you go right in."

I smiled and nodded "thanks."

I walked down the hallway I had memorized since I was five and also feeling like I was all over again especially when I reached her office.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Come in."

I opened the door and there she was, in the position I knew all too well.

"Just leave it there, I'll go through it when I'm done."

I cleared my throat a little loud and it made her look up from whatever client's file she was looking on.

"Oh Rose, come in and close the door."

I shut the door and sat on the small couch that she had which was sometimes my bed as a kid.

"So, I'm here just like you wanted. Tell me what was so important that has to be discussed at ten in the morning that couldn't wait until lunch?"

She sighed and slightly shook her head, then removed her glasses.

"Let me get to the point Rose, I talked with your father last week and he informed me that he was getting married to Natasha Ozera and he, well _they_ both want you to plan their wedding."

I just sat there in silence. Did she really say Natasha Ozera? Christian's aunt? I wasn't as shocked as I should've been, but more surprised than anything. My father left me and my mom two years ago, and the only times I've heard from him are on my birthdays and holidays. Oh, and let's not forget when he sends over thousands of dollars in checks every moth as an 'allowance'

"No." I said in a clear voice.

"No, I'm not planning anything or Abraham and his 'fiancée' Natasha. So just return that phone call to him with that answer. You can tell him to send an invitation but that's it."

"Rose." my mother sighed. "Alright, I'll tell him."

"Okay so if that's all, I'll see you before I go tonight okay?"

She nodded.

"Alright see you later mother."

She nodded again, already engrossed in her client's file. I just shook my head, rolled my eyes (knowing very well she couldn't see) and walked out her office, out the building and stepping into my limo when I heard my phone.

* * *

**Alright so tell me what you think.**

**Who do you think's calling Rose?**

**How do you like the pilot chapter so far?**

**I take any kind of criticism but no insults please & thank you**

**So review, review, review**

**-Kristy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the reviews and hits from you guys**

**it's greatly appreciated and I'm hoping that I don't disappointment**

**in portraying Rose and Lissa and so many more of our favorite VA characters**

**Okay so I don't wanna blab anymore, so on with the story**

**And of course I don't own Vampire Academy**

**The very talented Richelle Mead does but if she's willing to hand over **

**Adrian, Dimitri, or Christian well I wouldn't say no…would you?**

**Oh yea and one more thing…this chapter is Rated M**

**I know it's super early in the story to have a Rated M chapter**

**but it's the only M chapter for a long while so enjoy & tell me what you think**

**And another thing for people who ask? Rose, Lissa and everyone else is human**

**no dhampir, moroi, strigoi or anything like that just plain human with problems**

**humans in love would have.**

**So Enjoy!**

**-Kristy**

_Chapter 2  
__Unexpected Events_

I sighed and flipped open my phone

"Hello Father."

"_Rosemarie, Your mother called and told me your answer."_

I rolled my eyes knowing he couldn't see but it was a habit.

"Yes dad I denied, so sorry. Let's face it dad. You know why I won't say yes so why bother even having my mom ask when you already know the answer?"

He sighed really hard into the phone, clearly frustrated but I really didn't care.

"_Rosemarie I-"_

"It's Rose" I interrupted.

He sighed.

"_Rose, please can't you just let it go? It was the right thing to do, I didn't love Janine anymore and neither did she."_

I let out a short laugh, did he honestly think that's why I didn't want to plan his wedding?

Conceited much?

"Dad, please that's not what this is about. The problems you and mom had are not my concern. I just don't want to plan your wedding that's all. It's a waste of my time and honestly I don't wanna see you anymore than necessary. So ask someone else. But be sure that if you do send an invitation I will definitely go."

I know that the way I sounded was inconsiderate but Abraham just brought that out of me…a lot and since there was no one else around to take the anger out on he had to suffer.

I heard him sigh a very low sigh, clearly getting the message.

"_Okay Rose, I'll see you at the wedding."_

"Alright dad, I gotta go, say hi to Natasha for me okay? Bye."

I flipped my phone shut before he could say anything and stared out the window of my limo into the start crowd of New York City.

Then my phone sounded again and Lissa's picture showed on my screen; I smiled and flipped it open.

"Hey beautiful." I said and Lissa laughed

"_Hey sexy." _I laughed

"So Lissa what's up? I know that you're having too much time in your schedule due to packing to even pick up the phone and text, so this **must** be urgent what's up?"

She laughed.

"_You know me too well my best friend, but you're right it's gossip worthy and couldn't wait to tell you tonight when I saw you."_

"Ooooo now I'm intrigued Lissa, so do tell."

She laughed again _"We're such gossip whores! Okay so anyway, last night Christian came to my house to take me out for one last fun night and when we got to the club we saw Mia there with Jesse….MAKING OUT! and for a better term that I know you would use…sucking face." _

I laughed knowing that I would use that term and so much more, I didn't know where I got my witty vocabulary from but I always did love it.

"Wow that's kind of gross. I mean isn't Jesse like the university man whore or something? Why the hell would Mia - our best friend- Mia be 'sucking face' with Jesse?"

"_I don't know Rose, I didn't even let her know I was there, I just walked away with Christian tagging along…it was pretty gross to look at."_

I chuckled and shook my head knowing she couldn't see but it was a habit I couldn't break, and didn't want to.

"Hey Liss, I gotta go okay? but I'll see you tonight when I get back."

She sighed. I knew how she felt, we always loved and hated summer vacation.

Loved it because we got away from school for three months, hated it because we spent 3 months apart. Even though we were used to it, we were also used to seeing each other all the time, we've known each other since we were five and we formed a connection that ran deep and we couldn't explain it but every time we were apart we felt empty, incomplete; we couldn't explain it and we didn't want to.

"_Okay Rose, I'll see you tonight. I miss you."_

"I miss you too Lissa"

"_Later Rose"_

"Later Lissa"

And with that I flipped my phone shut and stepped out of the limo and into Mason's building.

I rang his bell and his voice came through the speaker.

"_Yeah?"_

"Open up lover"

I heard a short laugh through the speaker

"_Come on in babe"_

The door buzzed and I opened it, but before I stepped in, I looked at Andrew: my driver.

"Andrew, you can go now. Mason's going to take me home later on before my flight okay?"

He simply nodded, got back into the limo and drove away.

* * *

It's like he new I was already in front of his door because before I could even knock his door and pulled me into him and kissed me so hard that it made me moan.

He smiled against my lips and then the kisses slowed down to something sweet and loving, then to nothing.

When he pulled away I looked into his eyes and smiled.

"I love when you kiss me like that, I should come visit more often during summer vacations."

He chuckled and took my hand in his and led me into his apartment.

"Yeah, you really should come visit more often babe. I do miss our alone time"

And with that he pulled me to him again and kissed me hard. He grabbed my leg and put it around his waist and pushed my body **hard** up against the wall causing me to hiss and moan. Then he started down to my neck while removing the straps of my tank top and exposing my breasts, softly massaging it with is hands, teasing me. I moaned louder and pulled his face from my neck and kissed him hard.

I started pushing him towards his bedroom. We didn't break apart, not even to breathe as he laid me down on his bed, we finally broke apart, breathing hard.

The way he looked at me…eyes filled with lust and only lust. But that's what I was always used to seeing in Mason's eyes; because this is all we were to each other.

I mean a long time ago -or that's what it seemed like- we dated and that's all there is to say.

"You're such a tease Mase"

He grinned that sexy grin of his and planted a soft kiss on my neck

"Well I did learn from the best babe"

His breathe when he said that tickled my neck and made me shiver, made me get more into the moment of things….made me feel so good.

I smiled and wrapped both my legs around him and flipped us over so not I was on top.

I started planting soft kisses on his neck, then lightly bit on it because I know that's how he liked it and I loved hearing him growl and moan lightly right under me.

I started removing my tank top (glad that I didn't wear a bra) and both his hands massaged my breasts once again and he pinched my hard nipples causing me to moan his name.

Once again I found myself on my back, feeling Mason's lips on both my nipples, then slowly leaving a trail of wet kisses down my stomach, all the way to my skirt which he slowly unzipped and heard land on the floor.

"Wow babe nice thong, though I must admit I do miss the boy shorts"

I giggled just a bit.

"Well it does give better access to my sensitive spot to your fingers…or mouth…or both"

I winked and he let out a small chuckle while he continued kissing down my body, reaching over to my right leg he removed my boot, then my left leg the same and then we came face to face once again and he kissed my softly.

I flipped him on his back again and started kissing his bare chest all the way down to his boxers and sat on his manhood and moved my hips up and down slowly, rubbing his manhood, making him go crazy.

I liked hearing him moan my name, I liked returning him some kind of pleasure

"Rose"

"What?"

"Please, you're driving my crazy"

I grinned and pulled his manhood out his boxers and put it all inside my mouth.

I sucked his manhood like he liked it and before he could climax I stopped.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Because I wanna be played with too"

I gave him the cute pouty face I know he couldn't resist and he grinned and just like I rolled him over, he rolled me over and I was on my back once again; watching his face go down to my sensitive area and his tongue doing wonders.

He was making me moan over and over. So I held his head there enjoying the great pleasure he was causing me.

The moans kept coming closer and closer together and I knew I was about to climax he stopped and came up to kiss me. I could taste myself on his tongue and that only made me moan louder and get even more wet in between my legs

"Mase" I whispered "I want you already"

With that said he kissed me and entered me. I moaned louder and put my arms around his neck, pulling him to me while he went inside me hard, fast, slow, steady.

And it continued like that for who knows how long and then we both came together.

He laid beside me on the bed and pulled me to him -my back to his chest- and he softly kissed my neck.

"As always babe you were amazing!"

I turned to face him and smiled and gave him a chaste kiss.

"So were you"

I settled my head on his chest, wanting to take a small nap before I had to go back home and just as I was about to doze off once **again** I heard my phone and I groaned.

Why can't people just let me have some time to myself?

* * *

**Okay so this was really long and descriptive I know but I wanted**

**to introduce a lemon as quickly as I could because after Rose returns**

**to the university its all sort of going to be decisive I guess is the word I would use**

**Okay I'm rambling once again….sorry huge habit**

**Anyways review, review, review!**

**Thanks **

**-Kristy**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey my special readers here's the next chapter**

**to my wonderful story. I got so many visitors & hits**

**but not so many reviews on my last chapter :[**

**Anyway here's where some things about Rose & her life are introduced**

**so enjoy and please just a little review to tell me how I'm doing**

**Thanks **

**-Kristy**

**Oh as usual I don't own VA or any of its characters**

**even though I wish I did own Adrian, Dimitri, or Christian**

**but sadly I don't. **

**The most very talented Richelle Mead does**

**but I own my plot and every other character that I create**

**Enjoy!**

_Chapter 3  
__Memories & Betrayal_

_I settled my head on his chest, wanting to take a small nap before I had to go back home and just as I was about to doze off once __**again**__ I heard my phone and I groaned._

_Why can't people just let me have some time to myself?_

* * *

I grabbed my phone and Christian's snobby looking picture that I just took before summer vacation appeared. Huh how random.

"Hello"

"Rose, it's Christian"

"Yeah, I kinda guessed that since your picture showed up"

I snickered, remembering how pissed he was that I actually caught in him off guard on camera.

"Ugh, anyway I'm calling because I assume you heard about my Aunt Tasha and your father?"

"Oh" I said in a clipped tone

"Yeah I heard about it…so what?"

He sighed. He sounded frustrated or nervous or both and I didn't know why.

"Look Rose I don't know if you knew that they had a relationship, but I sort of did…for a while now."

Was he saying what I think he was saying?

I can't believe this!

My worst fears come to life

I stayed silent and Mason -right next to me- was shaking me and whispering

"What's wrong?"

"Rose?" Christian asked in an alarmed voice

And that just caused all my anger to spike. Sleep, happiness, pleasure, everything but my anger forgotten.

"You knew? You knew and you said nothing? Do you understand what that means to me? Do you understand everything I went through these past two years?"

I felt tears welding up in my eyes, but I wasn't going to cry, no I never cried anymore. Not since my father decided to leave; I vowed to myself that there would be no more tears coming from me.

"Rose I-"

"No! no, just tell me that they weren't together when he decided to walk out on me and my mother and I'd forget you even called about my father and his stupid wedding, but if you're gonna say something different then that just hang up the phone now"

He sighed and I waited for what seemed like forever though I'd bet that it was only a couple of minutes and **still** he didn't say anything.

"You son of a bitch"

I didn't recognize my voice. It was calm, collected, it wasn't me at all.

"Why would you do this? Why would you call me and tell me this after two years of keeping it secret? All this time you could've told me. You knew, you saw, I bet Lissa even told you everything and still you said nothing. I hate you"

"Rose please I'm-"

I closed my phone and turned around and cried on Mason's chest. He just wrapped his arms around me, and soothed me by rubbing reassuring circles on my back.

Mason knew my theory to why my dad walked out two years ago. It was the first night I came here, the first time I had sex, and I didn't care that he 'took advantage' of me while vulnerable. I guess it took my pain away, helped the pain erase and have a few moments of pleasure as a substitute. Mason was my lover yeah. But he was also my best friend.

Finally, finally after all that crying, sleep finally took me and erased the pain…if only for a few hours.

* * *

I heard someone whistling and smelled pancakes, bacon and eggs. That smell made my stomach growl. So I picked up a t-shirt I found and made my way to the kitchen.

That's where I saw Mason, all hot in his boxers, making me breakfast. Yummy.

"Hey babe you hungry?"

He didn't even look at me when he said that, his back was the only thing I saw. He's always known when I was around, it was always very weird but I'm a pro at weird so I just let it slide.

"You know it lover"

He just smiled and came over to give me a kiss on my forehead and set my big plate of breakfast (or was it past lunch already?) and put it on the counter while I walked to the fridge to get me a can of my favorite drink: Red Bull!

After I got my drink, I sat on the bench by the counter and ate my…brunch?

When I finished eating I threw my can of Red Bull into the recycle bin, and my plate into the dishwasher. I kissed Mason on his lips, thanked him for breakfast and made my way to the bedroom to get dressed and when I did walk into the bedroom I noticed the clock said it was already passed three o'clock. Crap!

_Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz_

My phone was vibrating when I was slipping on my clothes but I ignored it.

I didn't wanna talk to anyone. I know that I'll have no choice once I'm back at the university but right now all I want is some peace.

After slipping on my boots I made my way to the living room where I found Mase already dressed up and ready to go.

He was wearing a back t-shirt that hugged his muscles, baggy jeans, combat boots, and his leather jacket. Classic bad boy look, which is the kind of look I liked.

I made my way to him and sat down next to him on the little loveseat he had there.

"You already set to go babe?"

I nodded and smiled "Yeah"

I started getting up but he grabbed my wrist and sat me right on his lap.

"You wanna talk about it?"I just shook my head

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"You know that I'm here if you need to talk about it again right?"

I nodded and kissed his lips lightly which caused a small smile on his lips

"Thanks for being there for me Mase"

"Anything for you babe"

I smiled and got up from his lap and pulled him with me.

We arrived at his garage and made our way to my favorite car: a red vintage Porsche.

I really don't know anything about cars but what I do like is when they're sports cars and when they go super fast, and because it's red (my favorite color) it just made me like this car even more.

While Mason drove at a reasonable speed which I have to say killed this car's potential, I started thinking back to two years ago.

_Two years ago_

_I was in my room. All I heard was my mother and father arguing behind closed doors. Then I could hear them loud and clear, their loud voices echoing through the walls of our house. The accusations, the yelling, the threats. I was so used to it, that I used that sadness and anger they produced to write my poetry._

_But that night I heard or rather felt something different. My father sounded resigned, he sounded like he found a solution. That peaked my curiosity so I got up from my bed and slowly made my way to open my bedroom door and see what was going on outside._

_And there he was. Handing Andrew suitcases, asking him to put them into the trunk of his car. I don't even think any of them noticed that I was standing there…watching my family fall apart._

"_Daddy?"_

_My voice sounded distant. Like I was once again a little girl. _

_That's when he and my mother both looked up at me._

"_Rose" my mother said. _

_She sounded sad too, she sounded resigned just like my father did._

"_Daddy, where are you going?"_

_My mother didn't say anything. She just walked away, leaving me and my father alone._

"_Daddy, please tell me where are you going?"_

_He came up to me and hugged me to his chest, while he kissed the top of my head and soothed my hair._

"_Rosemarie listen, your mother and I are having problems and we need a break from each other that's all"_

_I sighed because I knew what that meant. But right now I just felt like a little girl who was going to miss her daddy after he went away on a business trip._

"_Are you coming back Daddy?"_

_He sighed into my hair and just stood there holding me for a while._

_He didn't answer my question and the only thing he said after he let go was_

"_Goodbye Rosemarie"_

_He left me standing there, watching him go out the door for one last time, with silent tears streaming down my face._

_That was the first time in my life that when I entered my parents room that I saw my mother in such a vulnerable state._

_I couldn't comfort her. Vulnerable people like us couldn't comfort one another. So I left her there in her sadness and made my way to my car and just drove to Mason's house._

_That night I lost my virginity and discovered pleasure, I learned how to take away the pain._

I snapped out of my memory with Mason lightly shaking me.

"Rose, come on wake up you're home"

So I fell asleep. No wonder everything came clearly.

"Mmm I'm up, I'm up"

I opened my eyes to see my house. Well mansion was more like it but who really cared. it's what rich people lived in right?  
Mansions. Mine was subtle. It had a garden, a fountain, it was pretty normal. But I knew it didn't matter. No one was home anyway. Alone, always alone.

I leaned over to give Mason a quick kiss.

I opened the door to step out of the car when I remembered something and turned to Mason.

"I'll see you tonight back at the university right?"

He smiled and nodded.

"Of course babe. After all I wouldn't miss the beginning of senior year"

I smiled and shut the door and made my way up the stairs to the front door of my house. When I heard the beautiful purr of the Porsche drive away I waved goodbye to Mason

* * *

I opened the door to my room and made my way to my surround system to plug in my I-pod and listen to music until my mother arrived home. I hit shuffle and made my way to my bed.

I laid down on my comfy bed hearing the start of

Secrets by OneRebpublic.

_Oh the irony._

* * *

**So how was that? I hoped you learned a little more about the Rose in this story**

**I know she doesn't like to show emotions or anything like that but it was sord of necessary.**

**Oh and Secrets by OneRepublic is a really good song**

**you should listen to it and tell me what you think of it too**

**Next chapter she's going back to the university and she'll meet one of the two hunks**

**I know everyone is waiting for.**

**Anyways review, review, review**

**Thanks so much**

**-Kristy**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey my loyal readers thanks to Rose Melissa Ivashkov and AMBullard**

**for taking the time to review my last chapter**

**Now for the next installment of My Life: Its Twists and Turns**

**and for those who visit and favorite this story please take the time to review**

**I really want to see how much you like my writing and also because I'm totally**

**self conscious about this story…anyways I'm rambling again**

**So enjoy and please take like 5 seconds to review**

**Please and thank you **

**-Kristy**

**Usual disclaimer I don't own Vampire Academy**

**or any of its original characters just my plot and characters I create along the way**

**But I do wish I owned either Adrian, Dimitri, or Christian**

**They're definitely sex on legs**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter 4  
__Friends & Encounters_

_Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz_

On and on I felt my phone vibrate my bed.

Song after song, vibrating phone follows.

I knew that it was Christian, I know that he's calling and texting to apologize.

_I feel no sympathy._

_You live inside a cave_

_You barely get by, the rest of us are trying_

_There's no need to apologize_

_I've got no time for feeling sorry. _

And I really didn't, time was running out before I had to depart to the airport and make my way back to the university until Christmas vacation, _if _I decide to come home anyway.

I might hit Malibu, Hawaii, Australia.

Somewhere warm and nice.

_Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz_

Ugh! If I didn't answer the twelfth time he called and if I didn't even look or answer his texts, you think it would've stopped.

_Knock knock knock_

"Come in" I smiled

"Mother, did you just get it?"

I looked at the clock hanging on my wall. Wow! It was already six o'clock.

I've been laying here for more than three hours.

And she just stood there in the doorway smiling down at me with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Of course. Did you think that I would miss the chance to say goodbye? Or miss the chance to drive you to the airport? I think not"

I jumped up from my bed to hug her.

No, no me and my mother -Janine- don't have such an easy relationship but sometimes there's moments -like these- that I wouldn't change at all.

She let go and pulled me towards the kitchen for a snack.

We randomly talked about everything.

We laughed, and it felt good. Weird and somehow kind of something I would shy from but still good.

I sighed while I watched people go into the airport, knowing they were waiting to board the plane to whatever place and adventure they were headed off to.

* * *

I was stepping out of my mom's BMW when she called to me.

"Rose"

She hesitated and I don't know why.

Something seemed off about my mom, something I couldn't pinpoint.

Something I think she was hiding from me.

"Have a wonderful senior year"

I just hugged her and stepped out of the car, closing the door behind me as I went to retrieve my tickets.

_Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz_

The phone kept vibrating in my hand. The pictures that came on my screen kept changing.

Lissa, Eddie, Christian, Mason, and even Mia. I don't think people understood the concept of being left alone.

"_Now boarding flight 745 to Missoula"_

That's my cue.

I made my way to the entrance of the plane, handing the stewardess my ticket.

She wished me a good flight, I just smiled and went to find my seat.

I sighed looking out the window of the plane. Staring out the place I sometimes called home.

_Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz_

I opened my phone and pushed the end button to Lissa's phone call and then held down the off button, seeing the screen finally go black and finally give me some peace and quiet.

At least until my plane landed and I found myself with my friends again.

* * *

"_Ladies and gentleman we'll be landing shortly. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts"_

I clipped my seatbelt and lifted my window to stare out the city of Missoula.

Ugh, I could see it now, Lissa at the airport, jumping up and down, expecting me…possibly with Christian at her side.

I don't wanna see him.

Not after he lied to me for two years.

"_Ladies and gentleman we have now landed at Missoula Airport. Please exit the plane in an orderly fashion and thank you for choosing StarAir for your travels._

I let everyone go out before me, because I _really_ didn't like the pushing and shoving.

Finally after the last person filed out I got up and followed.

I reached the airport lobby and found that there was no Lissa no Christian no anyone.

I sighed happily. Oh yeah! Just a little more freedom.

I walked to the pick ups and went to hail a cab.

It came super quick too. But hey, the perks of being super cute.

I stepped into the cab and closed the door.

"Where too miss?" asked the driver

Before I could answer, the door on the other side of the cab opened up and the cutest, hottest guy slid right in.

"Excuse me" I said in an irritated tone

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to share a cab but I'm kind of running late and I thought why not hop into the cab with the cute girl in it?"

It was sord of dark in the cab but as a car passed by I got a look at the guy's features more clearly and wow he was super hot.

He was well tanned, messy light brown with a hint of blonde in his hair, slightly build, possible six foot one or something_. _He has a smile that I bet killed a girl'sdefenses and he was dressed very stylish. But what captured me the most were the color of his eyes. They were emerald green eyes. He was beautiful.

But still I couldn't show interest in a guy who just jumped into my cab. This isn't a movie cliché you know.

So I continued my irritating tone with a subtle flirtation hidden into it.

"Uh yeah I know I'm cute. I heard it all before dude but I think you should hail, or get into another cab because where I'm going is way out of the city"

He grinned and my heartbeat picked up a bit but I maintained my composure.

"Well babe, today's my lucky day because I'm heading out of the city too. Let me guess…St. Vladimir's University right?"

"Yeah that's right. So what of it stranger?"

He chuckled and turned to me, hand out.

"Oh sorry darlin' let me introduce myself. I'm Adrian Ivashkov"

I looked down at his hand and extended my own.

"My name's Rose, Rose Hathaway"

He shook my hand then kissed it. I felt a jolt of electricity when his lips briefly touched my hand and it felt good, weird, but good.

"So Rose, do you mind if we ride together now?"

I looked away from him after taking my hand back and crossing my arms while staring out the window, watching the families greet each other.

How normal it all looked.

So I just sighed.

"No Adrian it's fine. Driver, to St. Vladimir's University please"

He nodded and I watched all the family love fade away

On and on the drive went.

In complete, beautiful silence….until Adrian's phone rang.

"Hey" he said to whoever was calling

I could hear the subtle sound of a guy's voice over the phone

"Yeah, I landed like half an hour ago. Where are you?"

"When did you get in?"

He laughed just a bit

"Damn, I thought you wanted to get in today?"

He chuckled, then looked at his watch.

"Oh brother, don't start that again"

I just rolled my eyes and continued staring out the window.

Watching the beautiful mountains look so peaceful, so beautiful

"I'll be there soon okay?"

He let out a short laugh

"Alright bye"

Then the silence returned once again in the car.

And again he had to break it

"Rose can I ask you something?"

I sighed and turned to him.

"What do you wanna ask?"

"How is it at St. Vladimir's?"

"It's fine I guess" I sighed

"You have privacy, weekends off, sports, clubs, the regular high school stuff"

He nodded and sighed in relief

"That's good" He said

I smiled and rolled my eyes

"What?" He asked

I shook my head "Nothing"

"Just wondering why you're trying to make conversation that's all. I mean you really don't have to ya know. We don't really know each other so it's not as akward as I bet you think it is"

He smiled and because if it wasn't so dark, I could've sworn he blushed.

"Oh no Rose, I've wanted to make conversation since this cab started running but you're intimidating babe so I just didn't talk"

I laughed and I saw his smile get bigger.

"Wow! That's a new one. I've never been called intimidating before. Usually a hot guy such as yourself doesn't have any problems talking to a girl no matter how intimidating you think she might be"

"So you think I'm hot?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't let it get to your head. It was a slip of the tongue"

He just laughed.

I kind of liked his laugh. It sounded beautiful.

"Either way babe, now that I know you think I'm hot you're not as intimidating"

I leaned toward him and spoke in a low seductive voice.

"Well then I guess I'll have to work on that"

He leaned toward me. I guess hoping that something was gonna happen. So I played along and leaned forward some more, so close to his lips, then pulled away.

"Yeah, I definitely have to work on being more intimidating"

He just shook his head and sat upright on his side of the seat, staring out the window.

* * *

"How much?" I asked the driver.

"Eighty dollars miss" I reached into my purse, about to hand him the money, when I saw that Adrian gave the driver a hundred dollar bill.

"Keep the change" He said

Wow.

A guy who loves to show money or just plain generous?

Finally the cab drove away and I decided to turn on my phone.

Wow! Tons of voicemails, texts.

"Jeez!" I said out loud

Adrian came up from behind me and put his arm around my shoulder and glanced down at my phone.

I know it should've bothered me that a guy I barely know is so close to me, and touching me, but I couldn't tell him to get off. It felt right to have him so close to me

"Boyfriend trouble?" he said

I shook my head and deleted all of Christian's messages.

"No. I don't have a boyfriend if you must know"

He pulled me close to him and squeezed my shoulder while we walked up the university gates.

"Really? A hot girl like you doesn't have a boyfriend? That really is a shock"

I shook my head and shrugged his arm off while I picked up my pace and walked ahead of him to make my way to the security guard on duty. But before I got farther away from him I said,

"No, it isn't"

And all I heard was his laugh.

"Hey Danny" I said to the security guard

"Rose, good to see you back. How was summer vacation?"

I pulled my I.d. out from my purse to scan it and then went for the side door at the gate.

"It was super great" I said as I walked into the university grounds. But before I went further I walked back to Danny.

"That's good to hear Rose, and before you ask, yes…they're all already here"

I smiled. Of course he knew I'd ask about my friends.

I always do after I come back to the university after some sord of school vacation.

I chuckled and waved to Danny while running towards the student lounge and before I was out of eye sight I saw Adrian walk up to the security booth.

I entered the student lounge and I saw them all sitting there, talking, laughing. I walked up to where they all were sitting and smiled wider when they noticed me.

And before I could get a word out Mia and Lissa both attacked me in a hug.

"Welcome back Rose" they both said together.

I hugged them back and sighed happily.

"Yeah, it's good to be back"

* * *

**Well how was that? Of course I bet a lot of you knew**

**who the mystery man would be,**

**but I **have** to leave everyone guessing!**

**It's who I am**

**Oh and those lyrics?**

**Someone tell me what song they're from and tell me how you liked it**

**when you listened to it**

**So review, review, review**

**Thanks so much**

**Oh and next chapter she'll meet the other hunk**

**I'm sure some of you ladies love**

**Until later my readers**

**-Kristy**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay thanks to everyone who reviewed and I'm so sorry**

**that it took sooo long for me to update but my computer**

**needed a new antivirus and I needed to find one and I had limited**

**amount of time to write and everything was just all bundled up and everything.**

**So I decided hey! I can't let my readers hang all this time so I'm updating now.**

**Oh and btw check out three of my so far favorite stories that are really good**

**I Want To Experience Love by xx-RedRoseBlackThorn-xx**

**Another Romance by Rose Melissa Ivashkov**

**The Broken Unpromised by ATrueLoveStory**

**They're really good stories so check'em out!**

**Oh and usual disclaimer**

**I sadly don't own VA the most very talented**

**Richelle Mead does**

**But I so wish she would give me Adrian, Dimitri, and Chiristian**

**But hey only I can dream…**

* * *

_Chapter 5  
__Reunions, Apologies, Meetings_

After Mia and Lissa finished hugging me they moved over on the sofa and made some room for me right next to Mason.

"So Rose" Mia said "How was vacation?"

"Did anything fun or exciting?"

I smiled and rolled my eyes

"Actually Mia, yeah I did a lot of fun and exciting things. I went to the summer fashion show, went to the grand opening of a new club in Queens, went to a Paramore concert in Europe, -had to fly super quick by the way- did a photoshoot for the newest Richelle Mead book **(wink wink)**, visited some friends.

I winked at Mason and didn't care who saw.

"And of course did some poetry writing with the newest editions to my I-pod. Oh! and just coming here to school in a cab, met the hottest guy ever.

I think he said his name was Adrian? Yeah, Adrian Ivashkov"

"Wait, wait, wait" Lissa said

"Adrian Ivashkov? My cousin Adrian?"

"You have a cousin Adrian?" I said

Lissa nodded

"And you didn't ever mention this because?"

"Oh because it slipped my mind. My aunt Daniela -my mother's sister- married Nathan Ivashkov, the richest importer in Russia and they were married for a long while. But she dies when Adrian was just thirteen. But last I heard when he talked to my mom was that he was getting married. But that was like almost three years ago."

"Who'd he marry?" Asked Mia

Lissa shrugged "I don't know. But my mother told me that the last time she talked to uncle Nathan he said that the woman he was marrying was from right there Russia. That she had a son the same age as Adrian"

"Huh" I said and shrugged "Now that he goes here, I bet you two will have a chance to catch up"

Lissa nodded "Yeah, I guess"

"So Mia" I said. "How was your summer vacation?"

She just shrugged and waved it off

"It was okay. Nothing special or exciting"

"Oh really?" Lissa and I said together

Mia just looked at us like we were both crazy, it was pretty funny.

"Yeah, nothing special or exciting at all"

"Whatever you say Mia" Lissa and I said together once again and that caused laughter around us

"So" Lissa said. "Eddie, Mason what did you guys do?"

"Well I went to Hawaii with my parents, learned to surf, met a cute girl. Nothing else" Eddie said and shrugged

"Me?" Mason said "Well I didn't do anything. My parents are in Europe and I didn't feel like going all the way out there so I went to my apartment in New York. I crashed some parties, met some cute girls, and crashed at home when I needed some peace and quiet. Or suffering from massive hangovers"

He smiled and we all just chuckled"I basically did the same thing" Lissa said

"Christian decided to come with me to France to spend all the time he had, with me and my parents along with Andre. we went out a couple of times and we also spent some time in Christian's apartment and that's basically it"

"Yeah" Christian said "I was gonna visit my aunt Natasha, but she was spending that time with her fiancé in California"

After he said that he looked at me. His eyes full of guilt, sadness. His eyes were asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness I yet wasn't ready to give.

"Oh?" Lissa said in a cheery voice "You didn't tell me she was engaged. What's his name?"

"Uh, I'll tell you later. Right now I wanna go to my room and take a small break before we do our back to school movie night. Unless anyone has any other plans and can't make it?"

We all shook our heads and just like that parted ways.

The girls to their dorms and the guys off to theirs.

All accept me.

I wanted to go where I always go the minute I have time alone when I get back to school.

The lake.

So when I stopped walking with Mia and Lissa did too.

"What's wrong Rose?" Asked Lissa

I shook my head

"Nothing. I'm just gonna go down to the lake for a while. I'll meet you guys back at the dorm okay?"

"Do you want us to come with you?" Asked Mia

I shook my head

"No guys that's okay. I just need to be alone for a bit. I won't be gone that long. You won't have a chance to properly miss me"

I smiled and they laughed

"Okay Rose we'll see you in a bit" Mia said

"Don't take too long" said Lissa

"I won't"

And with that said I went down to the lake.

I always like the lake, well I liked the outdoors at night. Everything's quiet and dark, peaceful. But when I got there I noticed that someone else was sitting in the only bench that was in front of the lake. So not to disturb I started back to the dorm.

"Wait" called out the guy who was sitting there.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take your spot on the bench"

I turned to him, but in the dim light of the moon I couldn't make out his features.

"No, it's okay don't worry about it, and it's not really my spot. I just didn't know anyone was down here. Usually there isn't but I don't want to disturb so I'll just go"

He shook his head

"No, you're not disturbing anything. Please go ahead and come sit with me, if you'd like to"

So I started walking back and when I reached the bench and the moonlight hit him better I clearly saw his features.

He was well built, had shoulder length hair tied back into a small ponytail, but just a little hair slipped out and was draping his face, by him just sitting there I could guess his height -possibly 6'1"- and his eyes in the moonlight were deep brown, and by the way the light glinted off the lake it made his eyes just shine. Wow.

"This is a really nice place" He said

"Yeah it is" I said as I sat down next to him "Every time I come here is like the first time"

"Well" he chuckled "For me it is"

"Oh so you're new here then?"

He nodded and smiled

I extended my hand out to him, he took it and shook it

"My name's Rose, Rose Hathaway"

"Nice to meet you Rose. My name's Dimitri Belikov"

I took my hand back and smiled

"Nice to meet you Dimitri. Hmm your name sounds Russian

He nodded and smiled

_"Wow a guy with a wonderful smile that seems rare"_

A good start to a new poem…

"Yes, it's Russian. I was actually born there"

"I've never been to Russia, I don't enjoy the col. I'm more of a summer kind of chick"

And I inhaled the air around me, the breeze that was slowly coming, blowing all the smell of the woods, the water, the aftershave?

Wow, his aftershave mixed with his sweat is really sexy

"Well where I'm from is a lot like here. Yeah it gets cold, but not like an artic wasteland"

He laughed like if he was remembering some private joke and I smiled even wider.

Even his laughter seemed rare.

"Well then maybe one day I'll go and visit and you can show me around"

I blushed! I felt it! My cheeks getting hot.

How is it that in one night I meet two different guys that make me do and feel things I haven't in such a long time?

"Yeah, that would be fun" He said "It'd be better than going around to places my brother likes and finding girls to 'hook up' with"

I laughed. "Wow your brother sounds super nice"

I said with very noticeable sarcasm

"Yeah well once you get to know him he really is cool"

"You sound like your close?'

"Yeah, we are" He said as he looked up at the moon, deep in thought

He looked…different…beautiful

Oh crap! If I keep calling a guy beautiful I'm gonna explode. If I don't get out soon I know I'm gonna end up kissing some stranger I just met. And then I'll be like Jesse the manwhore! So I just got up really quickly and that distracted him, making his brown eyes look at me, turning my insides into mush, making my heart stop.

"Uh, I actually gotta go. I promised my friends I wasn't gonna take too long because we had plans. Uh, you're welcome to join us if you want"

He just shook his head and stood up. Yeah, super tall hot Russian

"No Rose, thank you. I actually have plans with my brother but possibly another time?"

I nodded and he took my hand and gently kissed it and walked away

Could my night get any weirder?

* * *

I don't even know how I made it back to my room. I felt like I was in a huge daze. Two guys I met tonight, two guys who kissed my hand, one who electrified me, one who stopped my heart dead in its tracks.

Again I felt my cheeks get hot.

"Rose" I heard someone call but I completely ignored it

"ROSE!" That jolted me out of my dream state

"What? What?" I said as I looked around

"Are you okay?" Asked Mia

"Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"

"Because you were in a real daze back there. We had to call your name like ten times before we had to yell it out" Said Lissa

"Yeah and the shaking didn't work either" Said Mia while Lissa nodded

"Yeah, yeah everything's okay. Sorry. I was just thinking about some things and I guess that I was so into it that I blocked everything out"

Mia just rolled her eyes and Lissa shook her head.

"Well come on we're gonna be late. Christian already called and said that everything downstairs was already ready"

* * *

"Hey do you think Johnny Depp is a good actor?"

I said after we finished watching Sleepy Hollow and were finishing picking up the cans of Red Bull and soda along with the bowls of popcorn that we used.

Lissa shrugged

"Yeah, I think in a way he is. He's weird and his roles are weird but very convincing at the same time"

"Yeah my favorite roll besides Sleepy Hollow, is Alice in Wonderland"Mia smiled and nodded along with Lissa

"Yeah, that movie was awesome" said Lissa

"The Mad Hatter" Mia, Lissa and I just laughed

"Rose" asked Christian "Can I talk to you in the kitchen?"

I nodded and sighed. Might as well get this over with. I thought to myself.

"What do you want Christian? I said in a harsh tone

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, pacing back and forth in front of me.

"Look Rose, please you have to understand! I couldn't tell you. I didn't want you to hate me. I didn't want our friendship affected. I thought that I was protecting you. Protecting you from the heartache I already knew you had. I know what that's like. I just wanted to protect you that's all"

Now I got a little bit angry.

"You wanted to protect me? Two years Christian! Two fucking years! And maybe even before that! You protect me by telling me. I wouldn't have let it affect everything we have. We're friends Christian! I love you like a brother and I trust you like one! Keeping secrets from someone you love is not a good thing!"

He sighed and I sighed and crossed my arms watching him again pace around. And it was making me super dizzy.

"Okay Christian stop pacing! You're making me dizzy for crying out loud!"

He stopped and looked at me and sighed sadly. He took my hands in his and squeezed them.

"Please Rose, just say that you forgive me. I hate that you're mad at me. I hate that you can't even look at me, I hate everything that separates us"

He pulled my hands to his lips and kissed them. He pulled me to him and just hugged me. And then I cried. I cried and it brought the memory of when Abe left. But he soothed me, like the big brother I never had. And I hugged him tighter than anything. I couldn't stay mad at him. So I just kissed his cheek and let go of him and ran out the kitchen; hearing behind me Mia and Lissa calling my name, asking what was wrong with me. But I just ran. With nowhere in mind. I turned a corner and I didn't notice where I was going and bumped right into someone, getting knocked on my ass.

"Oww! What the hell dude?"

"I'm sorry, here let me help you up"

And when I opened my eyes to the person I bumped into and looked into his eyes and saw the emerald color in them all the anger, the sadness, the tears I had. All faded. All gone. The only thing that lingered was happiness.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a concerned soft voice

"Yeah, I'm okay now"

* * *

**Okay so once again super sorry but this is the longest**

**chapter I've written so far so I hope this time I get a lot of reviews**

**Oh and next chapter is when everything starts falling into place.**

**Discoveries and secret loves?**

**I don't know I guess you'll have to wait till the next chapter**

**So review, review, review**

**Thanks so much**

**-Kristy**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, okay, okay I know I'm at fault for being so late in updating**

**but my summer was so fun that I couldn't say no right? I mean I did so many things  
****that I don't normally do during the times I'm in school and doing projects and whatever.  
And also because it was my b-day back on Wednesday the 18th of this month**** and I wanted to put up a chapter; but me and some of my girlfriends got tipsy?  
But also because believe it or not I had writers block for some reason, I mean I have the story all planned out but the middle part which is like three chapters long was being all blotchy and stuff, but now I'm good to go so I'm updating and I promise the next chapter is already being written as I speak so bare with me**

**And as usual no, I don't own Vampire Academy. Richelle Mead does**

**But if she could just lend me Adrian or Dimitri or Christian for a while I'll be grateful**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter 6  
__The Thought of It All_

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Asked Adrian for the millionth time while he was walking me back to my room.

"Yes Adrian, I'm one hundred percent sure that I'm okay. Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Because" He stopped walking and turned to face me and softly wiped the trail of tears that were on my cheek with his thumb. "This doesn't look like you're okay"

I looked at him and the look in his eyes told me that I could trust him, but I didn't know him.

My life, it's secret.

Only the people I'm close too, that I trust with everything I have; know all of me.

And this guy, who seems to be a comforting appearance doesn't. And I don't want to take that leap, not just yet.

"I get it" He said

I looked at him questioningly "Get what?"

"I get that you don't trust me. You just met me" He nodded his head. "I understand Rose, don't worry about it"

"I'm sorry" I said, and I don't know what I was apologizing for

He just shook his head with a small smile on his lips.

"I told you not to worry about it"

"Thanks" was all I said

"You're welcome" and his smile got bigger

We continued to walk and in comfortable silence and I liked it. I didn't feel weird, it wasn't awkward at all.

"Rose" I heard someone say my name from behind and turned around.

"Christian?"

He looked at me and then at Adrian and had a weird angry look in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I said

"I went looking for you after you ran out. Are you okay?" He asked in a worried tone

I looked at Adrian and he just looked down at me and smiled. And that smile made me create one of my own.

"Yeah" I said to Christian without even looking at him; still staring at those emerald green eyes that gave me clarity.

"I'm okay thanks to Adrian"

And Adrian just kept looking down at me, and no matter what I didn't want to look away, I was so completely mesmerized.

"Uhmm"

I turned and looked at Christian in disapproval

"You're still here?" I said in an irritated tone

Christian looked at me and shock dominated his features.

"I just want to take you back to my room so we could talk Rose"

I sighed and looked at Adrian

"I'm sorry Adrian, I gotta go. Thanks though, ya know for helping me"

He just waved it off.

"No worries Rose. Maybe some other time we could sit down and get to talk and know each other more"

"Doubt it" I heard Christian mutter under his breathe but I ignored it and nodded to Adrian.

"Yeah, I'd like that very much Adrian"

He smiled such a charming smile and took my hand and pressed it to his lips to kiss it and that just increased my heart rate.

"Goodnight Rose"

He nodded to Christian and walked back the way we came.

"Goodnight" I said in a dreamy voice while looking at his retreating figure

"Hey" Christian said in a disapproval tone and I looked up at him and saw that his eyes looked sad. Why?

"What?" I said in a tone matching his

"What were you doing with that guy?"

"I don't think that's any of your concern Christian"

"Yes, I think it is my concern Rose"

"Uh no, last time I checked you're not my boyfriend, and I'm free to talk to whomever I want"

After I said that I started walking away from him

"Rose wait!"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him

"Let go or I will kick your sorry ass. What the hell is your problem Christian?"

"I just don't get a good vibe from him. I don't like him"

He pulled me closer to him, his face closer to mine and I pushed him away.

"_He doesn't get a good vibe from him?" _I thought._ "Men are so stupid I wonder how they even survive" _

"You don't even know him" I said raising my voice

"And I don't think I like your jealousy considering you're dating my best friend" I said in a calm voice.

That look again. He was looking at me like I was crazy or something.

"What are you talking about?" He said

"You know what I'm talking about Christian. Just because we had something for a couple of months before you even dated Lissa doesn't mean you have the right to think you can control the guys I talk too"

"That's not true and you know. Rose I'm just telling you what I'm getting from that dude that's all. I'm not jealous"

I walked back to him my lips a couple of inches away from his

"Prove it then" I said poking his chest "Kiss me"

"What?"

I know I shouldn't be saying these kinds of things to my best friend's boyfriend but I'm so sick and tired of him thinking that he can get in my business.

"Go ahead and kiss me"

He was looking at me, debating whether I was being realistic or just plain stupid.

I guess the first won because he put his arms around my waist and gripped it hard, pulling me closer to him. His lips so close to mine. No.

So I pushed him away. HARD.

I shook my head. "I'm gonna pretend that this never happened. And you're just gonna walk away, back to your dorm and if someone asks, no, you didn't find me"

I turned around sand started walking away but I heard him run after me and he pulled me by the arm and turned me to look at him.

"I'm sorry" He said in a soft voice.

I shook my head "Liar" I whispered

I shrugged out of his grip and walked back to my dorm.

"_How could that be possible" _I thought to myself

I just shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts and walked back faster to my dorm.

* * *

I opened the door that had my name on it since freshman year in script, courtesy of me and walked into my room. It's just like I left it.

My room was the size of a normal studio apartment. I had a nine drawer dresser, a long length mirror above it screwed into the wall, the flat screen in front of my bed (also screwed into the wall), a bedlike sofa next to the window that opens up to the balcony. My walls are painted grape. My giant poster of Hedley, Iron & Wine, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Metric. All hanging around. My laptop on my bed. Yeah, just how I left it. I made my way to my bed and sat down on it, removed my special ordered knee length boots from Hot Topic and laid on my bed closing my eyes.

* * *

I opened my eyes and saw light come into my room. _What time is it? _I looked at my alarm clock and saw that it as eight o'clock in the morning? _Damn! I must've fallen asleep. _I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to jump into the shower. When I'm done with getting ready I look at myself in the mirror. My hair's still damp but with a small amount of gel applied to curl it, around my neck is a punk rock hello kitty necklace that Lissa gave me last year, my rubber black bracelets, my nails are still nail polish purple, my one piece shorts outfit, with my all black converse. Add some lip gloss, and eye liner and I sprint out of my room with my cell and keys in my pocket and head to the cafeteria with only ten minutes to munch down on some breakfast before first period starts at nine o'clock.

I hear the second bell ring and I take my chocolate donut and soda to go before I'm later to A.P. World History with Mrs. Karmack and then I'll def. get detention.  
And that'll suck, to spend my first day back in class doing after school detention.

But it doesn't happen. I made it in time as the third and last bell rang. I go and sit next to Mason just as Mrs. Karmack walked in and went to her desk in the front of the class.

I heard Mason chuckle and I looked at him.

"What?" I said

He shook his head with a small smile playing on his lips "Late again I see Rose"

I pouted and took a bite of my donut.

"Shut up" I said and he chuckled.

Mrs. Karmack looked at me and shook her head, turning her attention to the board, writing today's lesson. After hearing the brief "Welcome Back to School" speech and the questions on the lesson of the Civil War, I was wishing that the bell would ring faster. But every time I looked at the clock, it was nowhere near close. So I tuned it all off.

I started to day dream. I was at a Paramore concert. Meeting Hayley Williams, I was singing Decode, Ignorance, or That's What You Get.  
Meeting Josh Farrow and him teaching me how to play Ignorance on his guitar.

I sighed.

Yeah, that would be the ultimate dream of rise to fame that could come true.

"Ms. Hathaway!"

I jerked out of my perfect dream staring in the eyes of a very angry Mrs. Karmack.

"Yes, Mrs. Karmack?"

But before she could ask me anything…the bell rang and I smiled at her and rushed out of class.

Mason and Eddie caught up to me and we walked to our next class. Mason with his arms around my shoulder, Eddie chuckling right next to me?

"What?" I said.

Eddie shook his head. "Nothing. You broke your record ya know.

I looked at Mason and he was nodding his head, smiling.

"Yeah Rose, how quickly your broke your record" Mason said

Now I was thinking if they lost their minds

"What record?" I said frustrated.

"Your record for spacing out in class" Said Eddie as Mason burst out laughing.

"Yeah , I mean come on it wasn't even fifteen minutes into the period and you were so far along gone I was wondering how Mrs. Karmack didn't notice right away" said Mason.

I shook my head and laughed, playfully slapping both their chests.

"You guys are seriously retarted" and they just laughed

"Alright guys I'll see you later in English okay?" said Eddie as he left Mason and I to go to his next class.

"Bye Eddie"

We entered class and when I looked around I saw Christian and didn't even bother to say hi, I just shook my head and kept looking around, seeing who I was in class with this year.  
And that's when I saw him.

Dimitri.

"Hey Mase I-" I turned around and he wasn't next to me anymore, I saw him talking to Christian.

"_When did he leave?" _I thought to myself

I just shrugged to myself and walked to where Dimitri was sitting. His back was facing me (wow he had great muscles) the black shirt he was wearing hugged him in all the right places and his hair was in a small ponytail, but I could see the little piece of hair that escaped. I shook my head and went around his desk to see him better.

He looked up and smiled at me.

Now…without the moonlight getting in my way, his chocolate brown eyes…

"So how's your first day so far?" I said quickly before I could keep thinking anymore stupid stuff involving this hot sexy guy in front of me.

He shrugged and crossed his arms over his muscle toned chest, leaning back into his chair, looking up at the ceiling.

"Classes here are good, teachers are okay I guess, but the girls are weird"

I laughed.

"Am I included in that weird girl category?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No Rose, you're in a category that's all just for you"

I blushed and smiled. "Thanks"

"So, why are the girls weird again?" I asked in an attempt to distract myself from his comment, and also to make that stupid blush go away.

"Oh, because they all look at me the way they look at my brother. And they blush when I walk by, and they giggle. It's weird"

I laughed. "Maybe they have school girl crushes on you?"

He smiled and then I felt someone's arm around my shoulder and looked to see, it was Mason.

"Hey Mase"

"Hey. Are you and Chris fighting?"

"No. Why?"

He shrugged. "No reason"

I just rolled my eyes.

"Anyway, Mase meet Dimitri Belikov"

"Dimitri, Mason Ashford. But to all who know him he's Mase"

"Nice to meet you Mason" he said after he shook his hand.

"New here?" Mason asked.

Dimitri nodded

"Cool, so anything you need don't hesitate dude"

"Thank you"

Mason nodded.

"Rose, you have like about three minutes to hurry up and find your seat before Mrs. Spencer comes in. You know how she is with you"

Mason laughed and walked away making Dimitri look at me questioningly.

"It's a long story" I said "But I'll see you later Dimitri"

He nodded and I looked around the room for an empty desk available and I think the universe must like my awkward situation status because the only seat available was right next to Christian.

So I took it. Might as well fight with the universe too since I fight with everyone who gives me shit of a bad time.

"Rose I-"

I shook my head. "I don't wanna do this right now Christian…please" I whispered.

Then Mrs. Spencer entered the room.

So okay the woman doesn't like me, but only because she might've heard me saying one day back in freshman yea that "If she became an A.P. Algebra teacher is because she didn't get laid enough in college" Okay so fucked up I know, but come on! I have strong assumptions. And isn't it weird that the woman holds a grudge since freshman year, and I'm now a senior?

"Good Morning class"

"Morning Mrs. Spencer"

And after that I tuned it all of…again.

I was looking at Dimitri.

Tall.

Russian.

Muscular.

The brown eyes.

The lips…

Jolted by the sound of the bell I sighed in relief, still did I really daydream for a whole hour? Okay that's a problem.

"Rose" Dimitri said.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know where I can find the Psychics lab?"

"Uh yeah. That's my next class so I could walk you there. I just gotta stop by my locker first. You don't mind right?"

"No, no. that's okay"

"Alright just hold on one sec and I'll be right back"

I ran to Christian and Mason who were waiting for my outside the classroom.

"Guys I'll catch you later. I'm walking with Dimitri to my next class"

Mason nodded and then I caught Christian giving Dimtri a cold glare. Though I don't think Mason noticed.

"_What the hell?" _

"Bye" I said to Christian and Mason took the hint. He grabbed Christian by the arm and dragged him off…

* * *

**I'm a huge Paramore fan! I mean I haven't been to a concert but one day when **

**I get the chance I'm gonna go and meet Josh! He's super cute!**

**Anywayz onto the serious A/N...**

**Okay I know that's where it's gonna get interesting. **

**But i hoped you liked this chapter, I didn't know how it would've turned**

**out having Christian as a secret crush for Rose but it pans out because of his attitude.**

**After this chapter you readers and Rose will find out some stuff…good? bad? **

**Only I know so review and thanks so much**

**-Kristy **


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay so I know I'm late in updating this story but I was doing my crossover  
****that time didn't slow down for me. But I did also get some writing done for this story as well so I hope some of my fans are happy from now on it's going to get interesting.  
****Who's going to fight for whom?  
****Spoilers?  
****Nah! I'm just weird that way**

**I still don't own VA :(**

_Chapter 7  
__Never Ever Would've Guessed_

Walking to my locker with the new guy who's hot and none the less every girl's interest in this place does cause kind of a stop and stare plus giggle gossip. But I don't care. I was never one for gossip.

But I couldn't help but feel self conscious walking next to someone as perfect as him

"_Perfect?" _I'm in trouble

"Rose!" Lissa said

"What's up?" Mia said

"Walking to my locker, than off to the Physics Lab"

"Then I'm walking with you, that's my class" said Mia

"Awesome"

Then they just stared at Dimitri

"Oh! I'm sorry Dimitri, I'd like you to meet my two best friends. Vasilisa Dragomir and Mia Rinaldi"

"It's actually Lissa please. Vasilisa to my parents" she said after shaking his had

"Hi, I'm Mia"

"I'm Dimitri Belikov. It's nice to meet you both"

"Yeah, very nice to meet you too" said Mia while winking at me, causing me to blush; and me hoping that Dimitri didn't notice.

I just kept walking to my locker, having my friends trialing right behind…making conversation with Dimitri.

"So Dimitri, how're you liking St. Vladimir's?" asked Lissa

"So far I can't complain. I like it here"

"So got a girlfriend yet?" asked Mia

"MIA!" Lissa and I said at the same time

"What? I was just asking what every girl is dying to know"

He laughed. "No Mia are the moment I'm single"

"Good to know" she winked at me and Dimitri, this time did notice and I looked away from him, blushing.

"So Dimitri what's your thing?" asked Mia -I sighed- again.

"My thing?" he asked confused

"Yeah, like what's you? Like what do you like?" she clarified

"Oh. Well I'm mostly into any type of Martial Art and music, and I like reading. I like to mostly keep to myself"

"That's really nice" said Lissa "There aren't a lot of guys that don't like being in the spotlight"

"That would be my brother" he said "He's more of the spotlight, but also likes to keep to himself"

"Ooo you have a brother?" asked Mia

I looked at him to see him nod

"He goes here to St. Vald's?

He nodded

"Is he as cute as you?"

"MIA!" I said while Lissa slapped her arm

He laughed and I smiled

"Well I can't answer that" He said

"I guess not" Mia said

It was then that we reached my locker. I opened it and rummaged through it, looking for my notebook and textbook and of course my lucky pen for that specific class

"So what's his name if you don't mind me asking?" asked Lissa

"Well his name's-" And I slammed my locker shut

"Guys let the dude breathe. Right now I have to get to class before Mr. Edwards kicks my ass for being late on the first day. Interrogate him at lunch. Let's go. Bye Liss, I'll see you"

"Bye Rose have fun in class. It was nice to meet you Dimitri"

He smiled and nodded.

"It was nice to meet you too Lissa"

Then she looked at Mia "Behave" she said in a motherly tone

Mia laughed

"That's what you say to Rose, Liss not me"

"Hey come on I'm not always bad behaved"

They both looked at me like I've lost my mind which I probably dide

"Yeah right" Mia said

"Whatever" I stormed off waving goodbye too Lissa

When I reached Physics the class wasn't as full. Which I was thankful for. I looked around and saw Eddie was only one of my closest friends besides Mia that had this class with me. Huge bummer.

Still though, I have a feeling that all of us are going to have English together. We always do since the start of high school. A good cool lucky streak.

"Eddie" I called out while walking to him

"Rose, Mia. You guys have this class too?"

We both nodded and he sighed in relief

"That's good. You both need a class that'll help you use your brains" he laughed and I smacked him upside his head

"Not funny Eddison" Mia said after she stuck her tongue out at him.

I laughed hard, clutching my sides. I love Mia sometimes.

"Okay, okay" he held his hands up in surrender "I'm sorry"

"Yeah that's what I thought"

"So Rose, who's the tall dude next to you who's laughing at my expense?" he asked in a playful tone

"Oh yeah sorry. Eddie this is a new student. His name's Dimitri Belikov."

"Nice to meet you Dimitri. I'm Eddison Castile but don't repeat Eddison. To everyone I'm Eddie"

Dimitri nodded and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you Eddie"

"Alright, alright get into your seats. I wanna get through this lesson without interruption" said Mr. Edwards as he hastily entered the class, making his way to the front desk

He took attendance and handed over a huge packet that told us everything we would be learning this year. This cannot be happening. I don't even like studying. Ugh!

Then a note reached my desk. I opened it.

_So Dimitri huh? Wink. Wink._

I snickered and shook my head. Mia.

_I'm not even gonna talk about this with you. You're a gossip whore :O_

I handed it back to her and a minute later I got it back.

_Sooner or later Rosie. ;) _

I chuckled and crumbled the paper.

On and on Mr. Edwards went. And just like he wanted. No interruptions. Only because the whole class had a dazed, sleepy look on their face. I could even see it in Dimitri's face, just a little bit, but it was there too. He looked so cute. I sighed.

Then the bell rang! Noticeable relief!

When I was making my way out of class my phone vibrated.

A text message? From an unknown number.

_Haven't seen you today. Hope you feeling better_

_-A._

Huh? A? who's that? This isn't Pretty Little Liars ya know. I shrugged it off and walked off to my locker.

"Rose" Mia called out, walking towards me with Eddie in tow. Dimitri nowhere in sight. Damn! I forgot about Dimitri.

"Hey guys come on I'm starving"

Eddie laughed.

When I got to my locker the rest of the gang was there waiting for us

"What's up?" I asked

"Nothing" Lissa said

"Going out for lunch. Wanna come with?" Mason asked

"All of us?" asked Mia

Christian shrugged "Why not?"

"Alright but I ride my own car" I said

"But-" Lissa said while I raised my hand to cut her off

"Liss you know how I drive and right now I need to think about some things. So that means for safety purposes" I snickered "you're gonna have to ride with someone else"

She shuddered, I bet thinking about the last time she decided that it would be safe _and_ okay to ride passenger in my car.

"Alright, alright" she said "We'll see you there. Rose be careful okay?"

I waved my hand in the air, making my way to the school garage.

I sighed happily. There she was. My baby. My BMW Z4. Oh how I missed her.

She was beautiful, sleek, blue, and fast. All I asked for in a car.

I got in and started to drive. I hate that I had to come back to school but whatever.

I stepped on the gas hitting it up to ninety miles an hour. The speed…was amazing.

* * *

I smiled and when I checked my watch. A new record. Twenty minutes to get to the mall.

I went in to wait at the food court.

I chuckled at the memory.

"_Rose! Seriously how is it that you're still alive?" _

_Lissa yelled as I passed the car in front of me after cutting it off at a very fast velocity._

"_Lissa come on. I didn't think you were serious when you said you thought you'd be safe in this car. I thought by now you'd know how I like to drive" I laughed _

_She shook her head. _

"_Rose just let me off and I'll call Christian to come get me and I'll meet you back at the school" _

_I just nodded. When I dropped her off I thought she'd start yelling _

"_Be careful okay?" she closed the door and I sped away _

Lissa was right. Maybe sometimes I am a little dangerous.

My phone vibrated. I opened it. Another text message?

_Good to know you like to drive fast. Turn around._

_-A_

So I turned around to find Adrian Ivashkov standing there. Smiling at me and I couldn't help but feel the comfortable presence he brought with him which caused me to smile back.

I laughed.

"I should've guessed it was you. How did you get my number?"

He shrugged.

"I guess I'm just smart" he said in a teasing tone.

I just rolled my eyes "Whatever"

He laughed and shook his head.

"Rose you'll get to know all about my awesomeness later. For now let's pretend this was just a random meeting"

I snickered.

"Whatever you say" I said sarcastically

He smiled and his phone rang.

"Yeah I'm here. Where are you?" he asked looking around the food court

"Okay I'll see you in a bit" and he hung up

Then he turned to me.

"A BMW Z4?' he asked curiously

I nodded. "I like to drive fast when I'm here. It makes living almost in the middle of nowhere a little more interesting."

He smiled and laughed a little.

"I know what you mean. that's why I love my car. It's fast and once in a while it gives me money"

I laughed and shook my head.

"Well I must say Adrian Ivashkov, you really are full of surprises"

"That I am. Can't wait to show you some more along the way" he winked.

"Hey" said a voice from behind me that I recognized.

"Hey! Took you a while to get here" responded Adrian.

I turned around…and they were greeting each other.

Then they both turned to look at me.

This cannot be happening

"Hello Rose" he said.

"Hey…Dimitri" I said nervously

Adrian looked between us two

"You guys already met?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Cool. So Rose, let me introduce you again anyway. This is my brother. Dimitri"

Aww Hell!

* * *

**Okay so I know I have to make it more interesting so next chapter it will be.**

**And I will also give you two different POV's in chapter nine.**

**For now review and tell me what you thought **

**Peace In**

**-Kristy**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay so I couldn't wait any longer to post this new chapter up.  
Also because a lot of my readers were asking for more and I'm glad people are really starting to like my story.  
So here's another chapter I really hope you enjoy. **

**Usual disclamer.  
I don't own VA *sigh* I really wish I did.**

_Chapter 8  
__Yeah, This is Definitely Real Life _

"So this is your brother Dimitri?" I asked

He nodded.

"Cool" I said

"How did you two meet?" asked Dimitri.

I laughed.

"In a cab ride to school" I said.

He smiled and looked at Adrian who was smiling right at me.

"Rose" called Lissa who was walking towards me with the whole gang in tow.

"Hey! You're late" I said in a teasing tone.

She rolled her eyes.

"I don't wanna know Rose" said Mason and I just winked.

"Hey Dimitri" said Mia.

"Hello Dimitri" said Lissa.

He nodded. "Lissa. Mia."

"Before I forget. Guys this is Adrian…Ivashkov. Dimitri's brother" I gestured a hand at Adrian sitting next to me.

"Hello" he said.

"Adrian, it's been a while. How are you?" asked Lissa

He shrugged. "It's all good cousin"

She nodded happily.

"Adrian, these are my friends" I pointed from left to right.

"You know Lissa and Christian" He nodded.

"That's Mia" she winked at him and I just rolled my eyes.

"That's Mason" he just nodded.

"And that's Eddie" he just raised his hand.

"Okay introductions over. let's eat. I'm starving" everyone chuckled.

"What?" I said in an irritated playful tone

"Waddaya wanna eat today Rose?" asked Mason.

"Pizza" I said quickly.

He just chuckled. "Okay, Pizza it is"

"Hey, you guys wanna join us?" asked Eddie.

Adrian and Dimitri looked at each other and shrugged.

"Sure" Adrian said.

We walked over to the Pizza Hut and everyone ordered what they wanted.

Me, I like so many combos all mashed in one on my pizza, but I don't think I can eat like I normally do in front of two guys who do weird and mysterious things to me.

I don't want them thinking I'm a total slob when it comes to my food.

So I just settled for two slices with extra cheese, pepperoni, and sausage with a large Sierra Mist on the side.

"Rather large appetite for such a small girl" said Adrian.

"Hey, I like food. I find that to not be a crime" I said playfully.

"Well I do like a girl who can eat" said Dimitri

And I blushed.

"Very true. Girls all for salads and small drinks…not really my style" said Adrian.

"Well I do a lot of energetic things. I need all the energy I can get" I winked at both of them and picked up my order.

I joined the gang at the table and when I sat down I felt my cheeks blush. I cannot believe I said that!

* * *

We all got to know each other very well.

Lissa was catching up with Adrian and was also getting to know Dimitri a little more since they're family now.

It felt good to have a little bit of fun before we all had to go back to school.

"So I'm dying to know what's your car of choice" I said to Adrian after he took a bit of his pizza.

He smiled and shook his head.

"Why?" he asked. "Afraid my baby's much faster than yours?" he asked playfully.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"No, I'm just an overly curious person that's all"

He took a sip of his drink.

"Boxster Spyder" he said.

Mason, Eddie, _and _Christian almost chocked on their drinks.

"What?" I looked around.

"Boxster Spyder" Christian said in awe.

"Get out dude" said Mason

"Sweet" said Eddie.

"What?" I asked curiously and impatiently.

"How did you get your hands on that beautiful baby?" asked Christian

Adrian laughed. "A gift from my father"

"Wow" said Eddie.

"Yeah, she's super fast. But. She cannot compete in speed with his car" he pointed at Dimitri.

"What's the car?" asked Christian.

"911 GT3 RS" said Dimitri calmly.

"Nice car dude. Seriously I've been wanting one for a while" said Mason

Ugh! Boys and cars. I don't think a girl can never truly understand the obsession.

So I gave up trying to understand and finished my pizza while the guys rambled on.

* * *

We all walked to the underground garage still chatting like we've known each other forever.

Well we have, but with Adrian and Dimitri here, they don't feel like newcomers. They feel like old friends.

"Well, we're that way" pointed Mason

"Okay, I'll see you guys back there" I said.

"Be careful Rose" said Lissa.

"I'll see you in a bit" was all I said.

"We'll see you guys later right?" asked Lissa to Dimitri and Adrian.

"Sure cousin"

I saw the gang walk to their cars, then turned around and walked to my own with Dimitri and Adrian next to me.

"Not that I believe chivalry should die, but you guys don't have to walk me back to my car"

"Well I don't believe chivalry is dead" said Adrian.

Dimitri let out a short laugh.

"So" I turned to Dimitri "Ever raced him before?" I pointed to Adrian.

"Yeah. Once…or twice" he said with a small smile on his lips.

I looked to Adrian and he had a grin plastered on his face.

When we made it to my car, I turned to them.

"Thanks for walking me. I'll see you guys back at school"

I got into my car, started it, put my shades on and sped away, seeing in the rearview mirror both of them waving at me.

When I reached the highway I finally started to speed up and then I got to thinking.

They're brothers.

Apparently close even though they weren't raised together up until a couple of years ago.

Can I come between that?

…

What am I even saying?

I can't come between them!

Especially because they might not even see me in a relationship kind of way at all.

Besides right now, I don't even know what I feel.

I mean I playfully flirt with Adrian, and I can talk to Dimitri normally. No pretences or anything.

I can also do that with Adrian and obviously he wants to as well.

But on the other hand….

Ugh! I am so confused! I don't know anything anymore.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket so I put my Bluetooth in my ear.

"Yeah" I answered

"_Rose, where are you? _

Lissa.

"Almost back at school. Why?"

"_No reason. I just wanted to know if you were okay or not" _

I sighed "Lissa. I'm fine. I'll see you when I get there. Bye" and I clicked my phone off.

I sped up more reaching ninety miles again.

Then ninety five.

Then one hundred.

I sighed with relief.

The speed.

I don't know what it was about it but this dangerous adrenaline rush calmed me to no end.

My phone vibrated again.

"Yeah"

"_Rose?" _

"Sydney?" My mom's personal assistant.

"_Yeah, your mom's calling" _

"Okay put her through"

"_Rose" _

"Yeah mom what's up?"

"_Checking to see how your first day's going?" _

"Plain" I said sarcastically.

She sighed and I smiled.

"_Rose. No problems this year okay? This is your final year. I don't want to have to fly over there for something stupid" _

"Is this why you're really calling me? To input rules? You should've saved yourself the trouble?" and I ended the call.

Ugh! Not a moment of happiness, calmness, peace.

It's always demands, and barking orders.

"I AM SO SICK OF THIS" I screamed.

I increased the speed. I couldn't take this.

I was already out of city limits. No cops. No anything.

I knew I was getting close though but I didn't wanna stop. I was so mad.

My phone vibrated and I picked up.

"Go away!" and I hung up.

Was I that embarrassing to her?

Was I a bad daughter to him?

Was I good enough for anyone?

Then I felt a small tear run down my cheek and I stepped on my brake.

I didn't cry. Not anymore.

I turned off my car and sat there looking up at the sky.

I don't know how long I sat there, honestly didn't care but I know I had to get back to school soon.

That's what I didn't want.

But I had to...I didn't have a choice anymore.

I sighed and restarted my car again.

I punched it to seventy miles. I could see the university again.

When I reached the university I came to a direct stop in front of Danny's security post.

"Rose. You're late" he said in disapproval.

I checked my watch. Damn 2:30

"Shit Danny. I'm sorry"

He shook his head. "You're lucky it's the first day Rose. Because if it wasn't we'd be having a different conversation"

I nodded. "Next time Danny. I promise"

He nodded. "Just go before you're any later. I'll see you 'round campus Rose"

He opened the gates and I zoomed right to the garage to park my baby.

* * *

When I got out my car I almost screamed.

"Do you always have a knack at turning up wherever I happen to be Mr. Ivashkov?" I said playfully.

He snickered. "Is that a discreet way of calling me a stalker Ms. Hathaway?"

I smiled. "Not that I mind your stalking at all. Still find it super creepy nonetheless"

He winked.

I rolled my eyes and started walking out of the garage with Adrian next to me.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

I shook my head and just kept walking. How did he always know?

"It might help" he said.

"Sometimes I don't believe that"

"You need to learn to trust those who wanna help"

"Trusting only leads to pain and tears. I'm tired of them both"

He grabbed my hand and made me face him.

Those emerald green eyes that calmed me...

"Maybe one day you'll learn to trust me. I'll never cause you pain or bring you tears"

I sighed and looked away. "Maybe"

He intertwined our hands and just kept walking.

I'm kind of lucky right now that no one can see this.

I don't need people thinking I'm going after two brothers at the same time...

Because in the end I wasn't. I don't even know what I wanted anymore...

* * *

Adrian and I made it to the gym. I kind of made it there in a daze. But when I stepped into the gym that daze kind of lifted and noticed he was still holding my hand.

I quickly took my hand back and felt a small blush cover my cheeks.

"Hathaway you're late" barked Stan Alto.

Seriously I hated this guy. He was always in a bad mood and I was always the one who got her ass bit when that happened.

"Sorry. I got back late from lunch" I said sarcastically.

"Name" he said looking at Adrian.

"Ivashkov" he responded.

"Why are you late?"

"Just got back. My apologies" he said in a calm tone

"Don't let it happen again"

Adrian nodded and then Stan went back to doing whatever he was doing before I got here.

Seriously? No barking or saying stuff that made no sense because he was mad. Ugh! maybe he doesn't like me after all.

I sighed and went to sit at the top of the bleachers, Adrian in front of me.

When I looked around I saw Mia, Eddie, and Mason engrossed in conversation with Dimitri. That's good. They're trying to make him feel welcomed.

Then I looked at Adrian. He looked liked he was deep in thought.

"How do you do that?" I asked Adrian.

"Do what?"

"You know what" I said irritated.

"I'm just me Rose. I love sarcasm and attitude, especially on you but-"

"But what?"

"I don't like the attention as much as it looks"

"That's a good thing" I said.

He leaned on my leg and those mesmerizing emerald colored eyes looked up at me.

"Yeah…it's the greatest think in the world" he said.

I just smiled.

Right now I felt simple. Happy. All thanks to him.

"Thank you" I said looking away from him.

"Anytime Rose"

And I smiled.

* * *

**AWWWW the beginning of love?  
Hmmm only I know the answer to that.  
But I do love how close those two are getting. Don't you?**

**So review. Tell me what you think.**

**Peace In**

**-Kristy  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay you can officially kill me! Or maybe I don't know what lol  
maybe yell at me? Anyways I know how long it's been since I've updated  
but I have personal reasons as to why.  
But do know I have been writing so I haven't been that out of it lol  
Enjoy it!  
Relationship developments?  
I don't even know how to descirbe it anymore.**

**VA=Richelle Mead**

**Enjoy!**

_Chapter 9  
__Why Is It So Complicated?_

The bell rang.

Finally time for the last class. An end to this weird 1st day. I sighed in relief.

"What class do you have next?" asked Adrian as we walked down the bleachers.

"English" I said.

He smiled. "Me too"

"Us too" said Mia, walking toward us with Eddie, Mason, and Dimitri.

I smiled. "I knew it" I said.

Mason shook his head. "Not until we see Lissa & Chris there" he said.

"Fifty bucks says that they will be" I said.

Eddie shook his head. "Dude, every year you lose. Don't make that bet" he pleaded.

Mia smiled. "That's true Mase. You know it's always the same. Rose is awesome that way" she said.

I smiled. "They're right. Just back off the bet. No hard feelings" I smirked.

"You're on Hathaway" and we shook hands.

"Easiest money I ever made" I said as we walked out the gym and headed off to English.

My favorite subject.

Ms. Petrov was is an awesome teacher and that just added to my favoritism of the subject.

I also likes it because of poetry.

Writing poetry is my favorite thing to do. Right next to photography.

I'm an artistic chick but I keep that to myself…got a rep I need to protect.

It was a job I had back home.

I was a freelance photographer.

My mother didn't know. No one did. I wanted to enjoy something that was mine. Not provided by my mother…or my father.

"Hey" whispered Adrian. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Just thinking" I said.

We made it to English and I smiled.

"Rose!" Lissa yelled and ran to me launching herself right into me, almost knocking me on my ass.

"Whoa slow down kitty cat" I said.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm sorry" was all I said.

"I'm just glad you're okay. You had me worried"

I smiled and looked at Adrian, then back at Lissa.

"I'm okay"

She looked at me and then at Adrian.

She was about to say something but I cut her off.

"Later. Right now English class"

She smiled that beautiful angelic smile of hers. "Okay"

She started pulling me towards the class but first things first. I turned to Mason.

"I know you already have it in your wallet so just hand it over"

He groaned and pulled out his wallet, with my fifty bucks.

"Mason" said Lissa. "Again? Really?" she sighed and pulled me to class.

When we reached the door I saw Christian smiling while shaking his head.

"Rose, Rose, Rose. When will you stop taking Mason's money?" he asked.

"Hey! He started it!" I said in a childish tone.

Everyone behind me laughed. I could easily pick out Dimitri's laugh and Adrian's laugh. Their laughed made my heart race.

Christian looked at Mason. "How much in total?"

Mason sighed "Two hundred bucks"

I laughed "That's all?"

He nodded and sighed. "Yeah, and that's only in the English class bet. I don't even know how much money you've won from me with the other bets" he sighed.

I laughed a little laugh. "Sorry" I said in an innocent voice.

He chuckled "Sure you are"

"Easiest money you ever made" Christian said.

"That's what I said" I laughed.

"Alright, alright. Stop picking on Mason. Come on, let's go and sit and relax until Ms. Petrov shows up" said Lissa as she tugged me to the back of the class.

When we sat down I noticed I got stuck in between Dimitri and Adrian.

I sighed, frustrated.

"Are you okay Rose?" asked Dimitri in that hot Russian accent.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine"

He smiled and I almost turned into mush.

That voice was beautiful and added with that beautiful accent, a whole lot of sexy.

"I can tell you really like this class" said Dimitri.

I nodded. "Poetry is what I like most when I'm in this class"

"Do you write poetry?" he asked. His eyes showed interest and something else.

Something I couldn't point out.

I nodded, smiling. "Yeah, tons of it. Especially love poems. Those are the ones that come easy"

I can't believe I'm telling someone I don't even know that well things about me that I don't like to really tell anyone.

But Dimitri, he brings out something in me. Something that hasn't been out in so long.

The desire to just be. No weirdness, no sadness. I feel that if I could I would talk to him all night and day and never get tired.

"One day I'd love to hear one. I bet you sound beautiful reading them" he said.

I blushed. "Nah, I've never read them out loud before. Well I did but only to my friends. I'm kinda shy with all eyes on me"

He let out a small laugh. "Really?"

I nodded. "Easy to keep a normal drama free like without all eyes on you"

"That's true" he said in a serious tone.

"Welcome back everyone" said Ms. Petrov as she entered the classroom and sat down on her desk chair.

"Oh, I see we have faces" she said as she looked around. "And also old faces" she winked at me and I smiled.

Ms. Petrov was awesome in every way. I have no idea why she was working here in this stupid school.

With talents such as hers, she should've been famous a long time ago.

"Okay, well let me start by introducing myself. I am Mrs. Alberta Petrov.

Whoa? Mrs.?

I raised my hand.

"Yes Rose?"

"You got married?" I asked with a smile on my face.

She nodded with a big smile plastered on her face.

"Oh my god! When?"

"This summer. About two months ago"

"Oh my god! Congratulations"

Everyone in the class said the same. Lissa asking how the wedding gown was, the designer, the wedding planner. I sighed. When will she stop?

"Thank you, thank you. But please let's get back to the class."

I was thinking what it'd be like to get married and just like that I took that thought back.

Marriage?

Yeah, I wasn't that type of girl. I liked all the independence I could master. Marriage always complicated things in my book.

Besides I don't think I wanna end up like my mom and dad.

I would never put my kid through something like that.

"Now today we're just covering the basics. Nothing interesting, just getting to know each other and things like that"

I sighed. Good. Nothing major, or embarrassing.

"But" uh-oh "I want to keep a tradition" oh no. "Rose, please" she looked at me with pleading eyes and I could never say no to Mrs. Petrov.

I sighed. "Fine"

She smiled. "Okay class, our favorite poet is going to read a poem I specifically picked out"

I sighed and walked up to the front of the class.

All eyes on me.

Adrian's eyes.

Dimitri's eyes.

Mrs. Petrov handed me the paper and I looked at the poem.

_Memory of Love by Anna Akhmatov _

I sighed.

_Memory of love, you are painful!  
__I must sing and burn in your smoke,  
__But for others-you're just a flame  
__Too warm a cooling soul. _

_To warm a seated body,  
__They needed my tears…  
__For this lord, I sang,  
__For this I received love's communion_

_Let me drink some kind of poison  
__That will make me mute,  
__And turn my infamous fame  
__Into radiant oblivion. _

People started clapping and I saw Lissa, she was tearing. She always got that way after I read a poem.

That's why I didn't read a loud anymore.

"That was beautiful Rose. Thank you, you can go back to your seat now"

"Thanks" I grumbled and went back to my seat.

"That was beautiful Rose" said Dimitri.

"Thanks"

"Can I ask you something Rose?"

"Sure Dimitri what's up?"

"Do you mind if after class you go down to the lake with me?"

"Sure. No problem"

He nodded. "Okay, cool"

To say that I wasn't nervous would've been a total lie. Being along with Dimitri like the day we first met is kind of nerve wrecking.

But seriously why did he wanna go to the lake anyway?

Damn it! I'm Rose Hathaway. I'm never intimidated by anything. Or anyone.

* * *

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day.

The annoying first day of my senior year.

The whole gang was gonna go out to hang in Missoula for a while before curfew.

"We'll meet you guys there in a bit" I said.

Lissa looked at me questioningly.

"You okay Rose?" asked Mia.

I nodded. "Yeah, just me and Dimitri have something to do that's all"

Then I saw Adrian look at me with those beautiful emerald eyes. But this time his eyes looked darker, like if he was sad or angry.

I looked away. I didn't like the look in his eyes.

I grabbed Dimitr's arm and started my way to the lake.

"Don't be too late" yelled Lissa.

"We won't" I yelled back.

* * *

When we sat down on the bench I had a little flash back of last night.

I smiled.

"Are you really okay Rose?" asked Dimitri.

"You're the third person to ask" I said in an irritated tone.

"You were the one who hung up on me. That's why I'm asking"

I looked at him "What are you talking about?"

He looked at me and I was mesmerized. Those dark brown eyes that looked so warm and soft.

"I believe your words were 'go away'?"

"That was you?"

He nodded.

"Why?" I asked.

"I had a feeling" he said.

"A feeling?" I yelled.

"Yeah, a feeling that you somehow needed someone. So I took the number from Adrian's cell and called you. But you hung up" he said this all in a normal tone.

But me, I was fucking pissed!

"I don't need anyone's help in anything. I'm fine!" I said and starred to get up and walk away.

I heard him follow and then felt his strong hand grab my wrist and pull me to him.

He was hugging me. And I was fighting him,

The more I kept trying to fight him, the stronger his hold got on me and I was growing weaker.

"I wanna help you Rose. Not in the way you think. I just want to be there for you"

"Why?" I asked. My voice thick, my eyes stinging.

He held me tighter to him, his chin resting on my the top of my head.

"I don't know" he whispered.

I gave up.

I wrapped my arms around him, tightening them, and I started to cry.

* * *

**So? Did you like it?  
The next chapter is being typed and edited by me so...soon  
Anyways...  
Review?**

**Peace In**

**-Kristy**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay so I knew it took longer for me too post but so much  
stuff's been going on that writing was the last thing on my mind.  
I've been meaning to post it for a while, but just couldn't get to it with everything  
stuck inside my brain!  
Anywayz this is developing into something good.  
For Adrian fans this is my 1st time writing in his POV but I think I did good.  
Enjoy!**

_Chapter 10  
__I Can't Explain It_

**RPOV**

I clung to Dimitri as I let it all out.

Right now he was my lifeline that was reeling me in before I could even drown.

We just stood there, he was soothing my hair, saying what sounded as comforting words in Russian.

I never felt so relieved and safe than I did at this very moment.

I looked up at him. His dark brown eyes made me feel warm and safe.

He wiped my cheek with his thumb and the feeling of him touching me felt amazing. Warm.

I closed my eyes and left out a small sigh.

Then I felt his whole hand cup my cheek and I opened my eyes and saw him looking down at me with an unreadable look.

I put my hand on top of his and I loved how good I felt.

He smiled and I leaned up towards him and he was leaning towards me.

We softly touched each other's lips and I pulled away.

I couldn't do it.

I let his hand drop from my face and if felt kind of embarrassed, but he just looked down at me with a small smile of his face, and a single nod.

I guess that means he understood.

I wiped away the rest of my tears and grabbed his hand.

"Come on" I said. "Let's go and meet up with everyone in the city"

He laughed and I smiled.

When we reached the garage I asked, "Mine or yours?"

He thought a little about it.

"Which do you want" he asked.

"Hmm how about yours?" I asked a little too excited.

He laughed. "Okay then, this way"

When we reached his car I was amazed. Though I know nothing about cars at all, his was beautiful and fast. From what I heard and now see…it's every guy and girl's dream car.

"Nice" I said with a big smile on my face.

"Thanks" he said with a smile of his own.

"Wanna drive?" he asked while slipping his car keys in my hand/

I nodded, very excited. I felt like I should be jumping up and down right now. "I definitely would love to drive"

He opened the passenger door and got in, while I got into the driver's seat, turned on the car, plugged in my I-pod, pressed play and I'm So Sick by Flyleaf started playing.

"Hold on" I said to Dimitri.

He smiled and I winked at him, speeding off through the back exit of the university.

**APOV**

Sitting here with Lissa, catching up after all these years was good. But I couldn't pay attention 100% because I kept thinking of Rose and my brother.

Dimitri likes Rose.

It's as simple as that. After all we've been through, I could read my brother like a book. Juts like he can with me. That's how close we are.

Still I couldn't blame him. I mean who wouldn't fall for Rose?

She's pure perfection.

Sarcastic.

Fierce.

Caring.

Beautiful.

The minute I stepped into that cab I was hooked.

But also intimidated. For the first time in my life a girl, no a woman, actually intimidated me.

From her I felt a spark I've never felt before, with anyone.

It's what made me more curious about her.

I wanted to touch her silky chocolate colored hair, stare into those dark brown eyes. I wanted to kiss those lips. I became hooked and I didn't care.

And when I saw her smile…I don't even have words to explain how I felt.

Then when we were in English I saw Dimitri. I saw the way he looked at her. She put him under her spell.

I don't think she sees what she does.

How easily anyone is drawn to her.

I was made when Dimitri asked Rose to the lake.

He was trying to heal her too.

I bet he knows how I feel about Rose, what I'm starting to feel. I don't wanna compete with him. But if that's what it turns into…then may the best man win.

"So Adrian, how's uncle Nathan?" asked Lissa, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I smiled. "My dad's doing okay. You know him. Business, business, and more business"

"That's great" she smiled. "How about your stepmother? You haven't told me much about her"

My smile got wider. " Olena is great. She keeps my father and me in check. She also works alongside him once in a while. She's a real great mom to me"

"She sounds like a nice woman" Lissa said.

"Yeah, she really is"

"So…Adrian you got a girlfriend ?"

"Mia!" Lissa yelled.

I smiled and winked at her "You offering?"

She blushed and looked away.

"Wow, Mia rendered speechless. That's a first" said Mason.

The whole table laughed.

Someone's phone rang. It was Lissa's.

"Rose where are you?"

Lissa nodded and rolled her eyes, then smiled. "He doesn't mind that you might kill him?" she asked playfully.

She laughed. "Well I guess that's because he doesn't know how crazy you are" She laughed again. "Yes you are but that's how we all love you" She nodded. "In the Italian restaurant. Yeah, I'll order for you" A pause. "15 mins? Okay. Love you" and she hung up.

"Dimitri gave her the car keys?" asked Christian.

Lissa nodded. Mia laughed.

"I wouldn't worry about it" I said. "Dimitri loves to drive fast" I smiled.

Dimitri always loved to drive fast. Me too. Sometimes we organized street races on the outskirts of Baia and Dimitri always won. He never took the people's money. He just loved the win and the speed. Just like I do. But what can I say? I also love the money.

Mostly spent with rounds for all the ladies during my part hours.

Still all that changed when during one of my races I lost control of my car and I almost died.

After that I left behind my racing lifestyle, the excessive drinking, and the excessive parties.

I can't say I'm anything like Dimitri. I sometimes go out to parties, I sometimes drink/ but nothing excessive. Dimitri comes with me once in a while, but it's not his scene.

Always uncomfortable.

Never loving the attention.

"Well if Dimitri makes it alive and not scared stiff, than that alone would be a shock" said Mia.

Eddie laughed. "I wouldn't worry. Dimitri looks tough"

"It's like I said. No worries. Dimitri loved speed. I bet when they get here, they'll be grinning and laughing"

"Alright" said Christian "I've never seen anyone survive Rose's driving. But Eddie's right. Dimitri looks tough enough to handle crazy Rose"

Christian is someone I don't think I'll get along with. I don't know how but, I could see that he has small feelings for Rose. It was evident the night we met and his reaction towards me. Jealousy. I don't know if his feelings for Rose are good or bad.

Fifteen minutes later I found out I was right. Rose and Dimitri entered the restaurant laughing. I sighed. I knew it.

She looked different. Her eyes weren't sad. They were -for now- happy. Dimitri did…what I couldn't.

I took a sip of my drink and looked elsewhere but at her.

**RPOV**

After I hung up with Lissa I laughed.

"What?" Dimitri asked.

I shook my head. "Lissa thinks that I might kill you with my driving"

"Why?"

"Oh because apparently the speed I drive is cause for pure death by fear"

He laughed. "I like the speed. I usually drive this way back home. Well here you can't do it a lot because of police but when I can, I do."

"You've raced before haven't you?" I asked him.

He sighed. "Yeah, I used to race. But not anymore"

His voice sounded kind of sad.

"How come you don't race anymore?"

"Because I almost lost someone because of it"

"Sorry to hear that"

"It's nothing. To me, nothing is more important than family"

Adrian?

He almost lost his brother?

I guess I could understand to some extent what it's like to lose someone.

"Do you miss it?" I asked him.

"No I don't. I never really got anything out of street racing. I didn't take anyone's bets. I just wanted the win and I always got it"

"Maybe one day…we'll see who's better" I said. "Me or You?"

He laughed. "Yeah, maybe one day"

"Hey" I said. "Say it like you mean it! I'm trying to make you feel better" I smiled.

He laughed again. I liked hearing him laugh.

"Thanks" he said.

I nodded.

When we made it to the restaurant I gave the valet the keys and I took the ticket and gave it to Dimitri.

"Well I bet that everyone's gonna be happy that I didn't kill you"

We laughed as we made it to the table. And I was happy when I saw me food.

"Oh yum!" I said. "My food's here waiting" I said as I sat down next to Lissa.

While eating my spaghetti and meatballs (cliché I know) I looked around the table. Everyone was talking, laughing, all except Adrian.

I didn't notice it before, but looking at him now, he looked like he was paying attention, but the way his eyes looked said something different.

His eyes looked sad and a little vacant.

I don't what happened, but when I left him with the gang, he looked alright. A little mad maybe, but other than that he looked okay.

I wonder what happened before I got here.

Still though, after a while that vacant, sad look left his eyes and he was talking to everyone, and smiling at everyone.

Everyone but me.

Did I do something wrong? Was he mad at me?

I can't say I know what I did, but I kind of hated that he was probably mad at me. Especially because I don't know what I did wrong!

After a while though I just got even more pissed. And on top of that annoyed!

I needed a small distraction.

"Liss, I'm stepping out a bit for a cig okay?"

She looked at me questioningly.

"You still smoke Rose?" she asked me.

"Liss, please I don't need morals right now okay? I'll be right back"

I left the restaurant and stepped a couple of feet away from the entrance.

I did quit smoking. A while ago, only because Lissa kept telling me over and over again how bad it was for me. So I quit. For her.

But once in a while things like this happen.

My emotions go out of control and speed -though it helps- can be dangerous when you're not thinking straight.

So I pull out my cancer stick every once in a while and let my emotions calm down from there.

"Hey" Christian said, coming to stand right next to me. "You okay?"

I shook my head after blowing another smoke. "Not really"

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really"

He nodded and stuck his hands in his jean pockets, leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky.

"Can I have a puff?"

I looked at him. "You smoke?"

He smirked. "Yeah, why? Is that actually shocking?"

"Kind of, yeah" I chuckled.

He shrugged. "Not a heavy smoker"

"Same here" I said.

He sighed. "Look Rose, about yesterday. I really didn't mean to act like I have a right to dictate who you talk to or" A pause. "who you're interested in"

"Christian I-"

"Look Rose, you were right I am jealous. I'm jealous that there's a smile on your face that not even I could give you. I know you were happy with me, but now you're glowing. And…I know you hate me for the secret I kept from you, but I didn't want you to hurt anymore" He ran his hand through his hair. "I didn't want to be the person to make you sad. I couldn't do that to you. It'd be like breaking my own heart.

I layed back against the wall with my eyes closed, stomping on my cigarette.

Christian just confessed. He confessed everything in his heart and I didn't know what to say.

Though I do know how I feel.

I feel like I'm betraying Lissa, that I'm taking Christian's love away from her.

"Do you love Lissa?"

He sighed. "Yeah I do. I love her but I also love you"

"You can't love two people equally at the same time Christian, you always love one more than the other"

I closed my eyes and laid my head on his shoulder.

"The question" I said. " is who do you love more?"

That's something he needs to think about a lot. I can't make the decision for him.

So I decided to make my way back into the restaurant and leave him to his thoughts for a little while.

I sighed.

Seriously today all my emotions are out of place and I can't even explain why…

* * *

**So how was that? I hope you liked it.  
Being in Adrian's head when he's hurting is such a blow for me.  
He's way too cute and sexy to be bummed out but no worries!  
Adrian & Rose time will come again.  
So review review review!**

**Peace In**

**-Kristy**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay so I'm posting this up now because I've been working on it  
and I couldn't really wait to see what you guys think.  
As promised...Adrian & Rose time and for Adrian fans out there  
I know you'd like how this chapter goes. **

**And seriously who is ready to see who Rose ends up with?  
Who killed the queen?  
Who's Lissa's half sibling?  
Dec. 07 cannot not come any faster?  
But everyone is excited that the excerpt is coming out in 5 days!  
So we will have something to hold us for a little bit longer!**

**Richelle Mead thanks for giving us Vampire Academy  
you're awesome and I cannot wait for the spinoff series I bet it'll be AWESOME!**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

_Chapter 11  
__Unexpected Surprise_

Walking back into the restaurant everything was how I left it. Everyone talking, laughing and me going back to being super pissed. I got that under control though. Thanks to the cig.

Yeah, Christian's confession did bother me somewhat but that's also something I have to put in the back of my head. At least for a little while.

Sitting next to Lissa, I fell back into conversation. Still a lot of things always made their way back into my mind. I swear I was like a friggin time bomb waiting to explode with all these emotions. It's fucking frustrating!

"What's wrong Rose?" asked Lissa.

I shook my head and forced a smile. "Nothing. Just sleepy" I chuckled. "You know how lazy I am"

She smiled that beautiful angelic smile of hers. "Really Rose, you need to always sleep. You're like a bear"

I mocked hurting. "A bear? Come on how about something cuter? Like a puppy. A bear makes me sound fat"

She laughed and I don't know why but to me, her laughter was a very beautiful sound. "Rose, I don't think you can ever be fat. It's impossible"

"Still" I whined playfully. "Something cuter would make me feel better" I pouted and unleashed my puppy dog eyes on her to make my point.

"Okay, okay" she laughed. "You're like a cute Maltese puppy"

I laughed "Now I feel totally better"

She smiled "That's good"

I sighed and put my head on her shoulder while she soothed my hair. "Still. I am pretty tired. It's been a long first day"

"You wanna go back to school?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but I don't have my car"

"Oh no Rose, that's okay" said Dimitri. "If you want to I'll take you back if you want to"

I shook my head. "No Dimitri that's okay. You should be able to hang around here and get to know the place a little bit more"

"It's okay" said Mason. "We could all go back. You don't have to wait for us to go home"

I shook my head. "Nah, It's not that serious. I can stay out longer. Not like I'll collapse or something"

"Are you sure?" asked Lissa.

I nodded.

"Actually" said Adrian while looking at me for the first time since I arrived. "I'm about to get going. I still have to finish setting up my room. So if you'd like, I can give you a ride"

I looked at him and I'm asking myself how is it that one minute he's ignoring me with a hard look on his face and then another minute he's not ignoring me and being all nice and normal.

Still I don't think I could deny that invitation. I wasn't lying, I really am tired, but I also want time to be alone and think. So I accepted.

"Yeah, that'd be nice Adrian. Thank you"

"Okay Rose" Mason said. "I guess we'll see you back at the university. Just text us when you get there okay?"

"Mase" I sighed. "I'm not a kid"

"Alright, alright" he said holding his hands up in surrender "I'm sorry"

"Adrian" he looked at me. "When are we leaving?"

"Right now if you want"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's a good idea"

I started getting up and when I did I kissed Lissa on the cheek. Adrian was already next to me and we started walking out when I remembered something.

"Dimitri?"

He looked up at me.

"I gave you the valet ticket right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I've got it right here in my pocket"

I smiled "Okay good I didn't wanna leave you without a car because of my forgetting skills"

He laughed. "No worries Rose, I got the ticker right here"

I nodded and smiled. "Alright, so I'll see everyone later" and waved at them.

I reached Adrian and we were walking out when we bumped into Christian.

"Hey" he said. "You leaving?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm tired and since Adrian's leaving he offered a ride"

"Alright, see ya when we get back to the school"

"Yeah" I said.

* * *

Driving through the highway at ninety miles in this car with Adrian and not talking was kind of annoying.

He hasn't said anything to me and I seriously wanted to know what the hell was his deal.

"Pull over" I said in a calm voice.

"What?"

"Pull over…now"

So he did. He pulled over on the side of the road and I stepped out of the car.

I heard his door open and he was on my side of the car in an instant.

"What's wrong?" The look on his face was worried, and his eyes…they showed concern for me.

I glared at him, hoping that he could see that I was mad. "You wanna know what's wrong?" I said.

He nodded.

I crossed my arms and looked at the floor. "You" I said.

"Me?" He came to stand in front of me, but I still couldn't look at him. My eyes were glued to the floor, I was staring at his shoes.

"What about me?" he whispered.

"Are you mad at?"

"Why would you think I'm mad at you Rose?" he asked in a gentle voice.

I shrugged still staring at his shoes. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because ever since I arrived at the restaurant you didn't even acknowledge my presence."

He sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me"

I looked up at him questioningly "Why would you be mad at yourself?"

His emerald colored eyes looked right into mine and looking in his eyes, I could see the sadness return. His eyes lost that shine they had to them.

He turned his head and looked somewhere else.

"Look" he said "you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine and…know that u can't ever get mad at you"

He turned and started walking back to his side of the car, but I grabbed his wrist and looked back at me with a sad expression.

"Yesterday" I said. "when you found me or well when I bumped into you, you saw that I was crying" I tightened the hold on his wrist and sighed. "do you wanna know why?"

"Rose, I want to know everything about you, but only if you want me to, not because you think it'll make me feel better"

"You said I could trust you Adrian"

"And you can, but only on your terms…not mine"

Again he started walking away from me and I wanted to say something. Anything! To get that smile back.

"I hate seeing that sad look in your eyes"

He stopped and turned around. "What?"

"I don't know if you've noticed or not but I can tell that you're sad and when your sad, your eyes lose that shine and I don't like it"

He sighed. "I already told you I'm fine"

I shook my head and crossed my arms, just like a stubborn child.

"You're lying"

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "You really wanna know what's wrong?"

I nodded.

"I'm sad because you didn't want to talk to me about what happened this afternoon, but you so easily opened up to Dimitri"

I stood there frozen on the spot. How did he know? Okay I didn't open up to Dimitri.  
I didn't tell him anything. But I cried in front of him.  
Someone I didn't know. I mean I could trust Adrian.  
I know I could trust him. I just didn't wanna show weakness in front of someone I didn't know.  
But I did. I cried in front of Dimitri. I let him hold me.

I let my guard down in front of him. Something I told Adrian I couldn't do.

"When you came into the restaurant, I noticed that you weren't sad. Not anymore. I could only guess that Dimitri did that"

I shook my head. "No, no. Adrian don't think I can't trust you. I feel that I can"

"You don't have to explain anything to me Rose. I'm patient. You don't have to do anything to make me feel better. It'll pass and then I'll just keep trying to get you to trust me"

"I already trust you" I walked up to him and looked right into his eyes. "I **know** I can trust you. I **know** I can confide in you. And I **know** that I hate to see you sad" I put my hand on his cheek and his eyes closed and he leaned more onto my hand.

Right now with Adrian I felt more than happy. I felt content. Adrian had an opposite kind of effect on me than Dimitri does. Adrian…I don't know exactly how to describe it, but it's a feeling I can't help but enjoy and drown in.

I got closer to him, my hand still on his face. He noticed though -that I got closer- because he opened his eyes.

That shine in those emeralds were back and I couldn't help but smile.

Then he surprised me when he took my hand from his face and softly placed it on his lips causing my heart to go faster.

He smiled at me and that made me happy. He really was beautiful.

"Kiss me" I whispered.

He didn't even waste time. He pulled his lips to mine and even though the kiss should've been filled with urgency.

It wasn't. it was slow, wonderful, peaceful, and it all made my heart swell.

I felt his hands on my lips, slowly pulling me closer to him. His hands touching me made my insides warmer and I felt my arms ascending around his neck, deepening the kiss.

I let out a small sigh as we continued to kiss. I know I had to stop. To breathe, but I couldn't. The feel of lips on mine became addicting. I didn't want to let go. I didn't ever wanna stop.

Still when we did stop, my eyes were still closed but a smile played on my lips. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. The feeling was amazing.

I felt his thumb slowly trace my lips and my smile became wider.

"Open your eyes Rose" he whispered.

And I did. I was staring into beautiful emeralds. Emeralds that shined.

I didn't have words to explain how happy I am, but I don't remember a time where I've been as happy as I am right now…with Adrian.

"That was amazing" he whispered.

I nodded. "It really was"

I untangled my arms from around his neck and intertwined my hand with his.

"Come on" I said "let's get back to school"

He nodded and then opened the door for me and I hopped in.

When he opened his door he hopped in with a big smile on his face and when he turned on the car he grabbed my hand, kissed it, and sped away back to the university.

* * *

**So? Loved it?  
I know I did!  
And just to let some of you know for right now  
I'm gonna work on my crossover story because it's been neglected.  
So give me a wk or two and both stories would be up to speed and then i'll love  
to see what you think of them afterwards. **

**So review review review**

**Peace In Readers! **

**-Kristy**


	12. Chapter 12

**Because I'm awesome and because I also wanted to  
get over my writer's block...I wrote this in hopes of getting  
my head pumping ideas and giving me something to do before  
the Spring Semester in college where I have no mind for anything.  
**

**I've heard a lot of you have read Last Sacrifice  
I bet a lot of you have read spoilers and believe me with this fanfiction  
I know how you feel...**

**Usual Disclaimer: VA = Richelle Mead**

**Enjoy!**

_Chapter 12  
__Temporary Normality_

**RPOV**

After my kiss with Adrian a couple of weeks ago, everything became somewhat normal.

We didn't judge that kiss, we took everything one step at a time. Still I couldn't say that I just wanted to be with Adrian. I wanted to be with Dimitri too.

Not in a couple kind of way, but in a way that I sometimes just liked his presence alone.

When I wasn't with the two brothers -separately of course- I was with my friends, catching up and creating new things, playing pranks on one another before we had to go out into the real world and behave the way we were told too.

I didn't like it. I didn't ever want to change. But sometimes you have to grow up and change to make someone better of yourself. I just hated it the thought of it all.

Still some things didn't change, like Christian. He still looked at me in the way that said he was deeply in love with me and I didn't know what to think of that.

I thought that me not spending so much time around him, would get him to look at _only_ Lissa but I guess that was a wrong move to make.

I noticed sometimes when I was either with Adrian or Dimitri that Christian would glare when he thought no one was looking and I wanted to role my eyes every time he did that because he needed to know that I wasn't any mans property. I was my own fucking person!

To say that neither Adrian or Dimitri noticed would be a lie. Sometimes when I was with Adrian and Christian would be looking -or rather glaring- he would put his arm on my waist and pull me closer to him, making me feel so wonderful and Dimitri would sometimes take my hand in his big strong one and give it a little squeeze making me feel less uncomfortable under Christian's scrutinizing eyes.

I kind of felt bad for Christian a couple of days ago when Lissa came in my room apologizing and at first I didn't know why but then she was saying that she swears she didn't know anything and that if she did she would've told me right away. And that kind of confused me a little more, because seriously…what the hell was she talking about?

_Lissa was crying while running into my room and sitting on my bed, her hands covering the wet tears spilling out of her eyes and I just comforted her like any best friend would._

"_Lissa" I said as I hugged her to my body "What's wrong?" I asked as she kept hiccupping her tears to stop. _

"_I'm so sorry Rose I didn't know Christian would keep such a huge secret from you. You have to believe me, I-I would've told you ri-right away and I would've broken up with him because of how h-he betrayed you" _

_I sighed. So this is what she was talking about? Honestly…now he let her know the secret? I wonder how it even came up in the first place. _

_Oh yeah, my father was marrying Natasha Ozera. _

"_Lissa, you need to relax and calm down. I'm not upset about that anymore. Chris told me before we came back to school, and he said he did it to protect me. He knows what it was like for me, and he told me he was doing it to help. And I believe him" _

_Also because he was still in love with me and he also couldn't stand the woman he loves being hurt. But I was never going to tell her that, I don't think I can break her heart like that. _

_She sniffled and rubbed her cheeks with her wrist and her palms pressed against her eyes, willing -I guess- for her tears to stop. _

_For some reason, seeing Lissa cry, seeing tears on that angelic face of hers always made something inside me click. Made me want to protect her from any kind of harm that came to her. Like I wanted to be her guardian. _

_Which in a way seemed like something out of the ordinary, even for me. _

_Still I kind of felt bad for the guy because he was about to lose another girl he loves. _

_It kind of broke my heart in a way but I have to make him see that Lissa is the _only_ one for him. _

"_Liss, Chris is a really great guy and I know best friend loyalty applies to you and me like the ultimate rule of our friendship, but I know how much it would hurt you to walk away from Christian just because of this. And I wouldn't feel right being the cause of your relationship breaking up" _

_She sniffled and leaned into me wiping the last of her tears away. _

"_But what do I do" she asked me. "How do I handle it, because honestly you know that for you I would do anything" _

_I nodded and squeezed her shoulder lightly. "I know but, your happiness is kind of important to me. I want you to be happy and you're happy with Chris. So just give yourself some time and when you're ready to talk. Go to him and solve it all out" _

"_Yeah," she sniffled again. "you're right Rose" she yawned and slowly closed her eyes as if she was about to fall asleep here. And I couldn't have that, I was kind of meeting Adrian in a little bit and I think it'll be kind of embarrassing to tell Lissa that I was hopefully looking forward to that meeting. Especially after that wonderful mind blowing kiss we shared. Yeah, I don't think I wanna have that conversation right now. _

"_Liss" I said as I pulled her up and walked outside my room, sliding her along with me. _

"_Yeah" she answered in an already sleepy voice. _

"_Have a good night" I said after I entered her room and laid her on her bed, where she fell asleep peacefully. _

After that night. Chris and Lissa have kind of been in an in and out of conversation. I mean we all know that they still love each other, but Lissa -just like me- was as stubborn as a mule and she right now didn't want to talk to Chris. Though once in a while I'd catch them both looking at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking and I found cute and also annoying.

Why couldn't he just decide that Lissa was better for him to love than me? I won't be able to love him, and I hate to think that I'm hurting him.

"Rose" Adrian called my name, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, just thinking about what's happened the past couple of weeks. It's not even the New Year and it feels like I've gone through the half of the school year already"

He smiled and brought me closer to him, my head on his shoulder.

Right now me and Adrian were having some alone time. Just us together. We always did this when we just wanted to hang out. We would sit in the student lounge when we knew no one was around and talked and talked for what seemed like forever.

We learned so much about one another, that sometimes it made me happy that I made a connection with someone as wonderful as him. It's shocking I think.

And other times when he would hold me like this, and we were just sitting in comfortable silence…I'd be thinking about that kiss we shared. I would always feel a small smile playing on my lips, and sometimes Adrian would surprise me by asking why I was blushing. I think it was kind of embarrassing in a way for me to tell him I was thinking about our kiss and how I wanted him to give me another just as mind blowing.

The spunky girl in me didn't want to come out and tell him that, the shy girl was sticking to the center of my brain, taking over. Making me someone I was such along time ago.

"What are you doing this weekend?" He asked me, while playing with my fingers.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe sleeping in again. You know how I feel about weekend activities. I like to chill and make the best of it before coming back to prison"

He laughed and I almost melted on the spot. "Yes, I know how you are but I was asking because maybe you wanted to go down to Missoula with me so we could just" he shrugged "I don't know…hang out?"

I bit my lip and looked up at his emerald eyes, thinking that nothing could get better than this, but apparently it could. But I also couldn't go because, I've kind of neglected Dimitri the whole week and I wanted to spend some time with him. How do I tell Adrian I'm denying his invitation to try and hang out with his brother?

I sighed. I couldn't. I could never do that to him, I don't think I want to see that sad look in his eyes all over again.

"How about on Sunday?" I asked him.

He smiled at me and nodded, going back to absentmindedly playing with my fingers.

"Hanging out with Dimitri tomorrow then" he said out of the blue.

I sighed and looked at him. "Does that bother you?" I asked in a small voice.

He shook his head. "No, it doesn't. I understand. You haven't seen him all week and I know you want to spend some time with him. that's not a crime"

I internally sighed. I'm not stupid, I know these two have something going on and it's not good. I mean I know they don't hate each other, that's never going to happen. But it's something else. And when I've asked them what's wrong, they didn't say anything. They acted like I was a crazy person, when I knew I was right on the money.

If I think it's what I think it is, I don't think I'd like it. I would have to step back and move on like it's nothing and make sure that I never involve myself with brothers in the future.

I just hope it isn't. Stepping away from either Adrian or Dimitri will kind of affect me in a way I don't think I can withstand. It'd brake my heart into more pieces that I can never put back together.

"Will you ever tell me what's going on between you and Dimitri?" I asked out of the blue.

He sighed still absentmindedly playing with my hands, looking down at them like they were all that captured his attention, as if I didn't ask him anything just a second ago.

"When will you ever not ask me that question" said Adrian.

I sighed winding my fingers with his, lifting his chin, making him look at me. "When you stop dodging me and tell me what's going on. You know how stubborn how I am"

He smiled and I wanted to melt all over again "Yeah, I know how you are but I don't know what you're talking about. I told you already that Dimitri & I have nothing going on"

I rolled my eyes and he smirked and I swear I could kiss him right there. "You're such a horrible liar"

He smiled and chuckled. "How do you know if I'm such a horrible liar or not?"

"Because you've never lied to me about anything, except this. So I'm guessing this 'problem' is a big thing that you obviously don't want to tell me about"

"Rose-"

"No. just tell me, I don't want you guys having any kind of argument or misunderstanding. If I could fix it I would try. that's why I want to know"

He rubbed his thumb softly on my cheek, smiling sweetly. "I am being honest with you. There's nothing going on…I promise. Dimitri and I are like the way we've always been. You seriously are imagining things Rose"

I pouted and crossed my arms like a stubborn child.

He chuckled and I looked away from him, still pouting.

"Aww come on Rose. don't pout, you know I can't resist it when you pout. It drives me crazy"

I smiled on the inside. If he only knew what his genuine smile did to me. He wouldn't be so crazy as he so well puts it.

I turned around, softly running my fingers on his cheek. "Tell me" I whispered.

He closed his eyes and grabbed my wrist, softly kissing each of my fingers. "There's nothing to tell" he said in that sexy voice of his.

I let out a small shaky breath, and he smiled. Knowing exactly what he was doing to me. Cheater. "You're so mean"

He opened his eyes and smiled that 10k smile of his, making me want to melt right into him. He knew he won this battle for now. "I know I'm mean, but you love me that way"

I playfully shoved his shoulder. "Loser"

"The loser you love" he said with a cheeky smile.

I just rolled my eyes and laid my head down on his shoulder, placing some of my hair behind my ear. "Your lucky I love you, you loser"

He just chuckled and placed a soft kiss on my head.

I sighed utterly in content. Being this close to him, made everything bad in my head clear away for a while. Temporary normality. He's the greatest friend I could always have.

But somehow deep down inside my heart I feel like this won't last. I'm hoping I'm wrong, because I don't want to lose the little happiness that I have with all my friends.

With that happiness I have when I'm with Dimitri or Adrian.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I sighed when I saw the number. I decided to pick it up anyway.

"Hello"

"_Rose?" _

"Sydney?"

"_You have to come home quick" _

"Why? What's wrong?"

"_It's your mom" _

_

* * *

_

**Yeah, total cliffie I know but you guys still love me right?  
I already have the next chapter written and edited -by me of course-  
and definetely up for upload.  
Still tell me what you think of this chapter and by sunday I'll upload the next chapter**

**Peace In**

**-Kristy**


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay I'm 2 days early in posting but I know some of you are  
getting antsy with what's going on with Rose's mom.  
Sad to say I won't be telling anything until the next couple  
of chapters.  
Don't hate me, I just love keeping you guys on suspence.  
And also because there's a lot of ideas and chapters coming like clock work.  
I'm writing a chapter almost every day!  
It's a proud moment for me! **

**I'm getting Last Sacrifice for X-MAS so no spoilers anymore  
PLEEEEEEEEASE!  
With what I already heard I'm dying on the inside...**

**Usual Disclaimer: VA belongs to Richelle Mead **

**Enjoy!  
**

_Chapter 13  
__Expected Problems _

"Hello"

"_Rose?" _

"Sydney?"

"_You have to come home quick" _

"Why? What's wrong?"

"_It's your mom" _

_

* * *

_

"My mom?" I said in a hurry standing up from the couch I was sitting on.

"What's wrong with my mom Sydney?"

"_She's in the hospital" _

"WHAT?"

She sounded like she was about to start crying and then she started talking but I couldn't understand a word she was saying.

"Sydney. Calm down. Tell me what happened to my mom"

"_I don't know. One moment she's in a meeting with some clients and the next I'm calling an ambulance after she collapsed" _

"Have you been to the hospital? Did anyone tell you anything?" I said on the verge of hysteria.

Adrian -who I kind of forgot was there next to me- stood up and hugged me to him. He -just like me- knew I was on the verge of crying, and I couldn't cry right now. I had to think straight. I have to go back to New York for my mom.

She sniffled and calmed down just enough to talk _"No, they haven't told me anything. They just told me to please contact any relatives immediately" _

I nodded and tried to hold back my tears. I'll break down while I pack to get the hell out of here and go to my mom's side where I belong.

"Okay, I'll be out as soon as I can"

"_I'll book your flight for tonight" _

"Good…and Sydney?"

"_Yeah?" _

"Go to that hospital and find out what the fuck is going on"

She sniffled _"Okay" _

"Oh and Sydney one more thing"

"_Yeah?" _

"Call Abe and let him know, because when I arrive I expect him to be there. Do you understand?"

"_Right away Rose" _

"See you soon Sydney"

I hung up the phone and instinctively buried myself in Adrian's chest, silently crying.

He just soothed me and let me stain his shirt with salt water.

"What's wrong Rose?"

"My mom. She's in the hospital" I said in a muffled voice.

I sniffled. "I have to get home" I said as I let go of him and started walking back to my room. Him following right behind me.

"I'll come with you" He said.

I shook my head. "As much as I want you there, I don't think it'll be possible. Besides my father will be there and I'll be fine with it for a while. Also I don't think Kirova would give you the chance to go"

He took my hand and turned me around to look at him. "I want to go and there's nothing you can do about that"

I squeezed his hand in return "Thank you"

He nodded and placed a small kiss on my forehead. "I'm going back to my room and I'll meet you back here in ten minutes"

I nodded. "Thanks" I said as I let go of his hand and ran back to my room all the while dialing Lissa's cell number.

It rang twice before Lissa picked up.

"_Rose?" _

I started crying again. "Lissa"

"_Rose. What's wrong? Why are you crying? Is everything okay?" _

"My mom. She's in the hospital" I said as I entered the building of my dorm.

"_Oh my god. Where are you I'll be over quickly" _

"Already inside the dorm"

She hung up the phone and when I reached out floor she was already coming towards me, Mia in tow.

"What's wrong with your mom?" asked Mia.

I shook my head and unlocked my door. "I don't know but I need to get back to New York. They didn't want to tell Sydney what's wrong. They said they needed to contact any relatives immediately" I went to my closet and started looking for clothes to wear and then I remembered that I never packed anything in the first place.

I'm all over the place! I need to relax.

I sat on the bed with Lissa and Mia on my other side.

"So you're going back tonight?" asked Lissa.

I nodded, wiping away my tears. "Yeah, I have too"

They both nodded. "What time are you leaving?" asked Lissa.

I shrugged. "The minute Sydney books my flight, I'm out of here"

"You want us to come with you?" asked Mia.

I shook my head. "You know you guys can't just pop in and out of here without permission. Your parents would worry like no tomorrow. Besides Adrian kind of said he was going with me, and as much as I told him that I didn't need for him to come, he decided he would and you know how stubborn he is"

They both kind of laughed "Yeah I know how he is. Remember I'm related to him"

"I think we'll try and find a way to get permission. If you're still there by next week we'll all try and be there for you okay?" said Mia.

I nodded and squeezed both my best friends hands. "Thanks you guys"

A knock on my door interrupted our little time together.

"Come in"

"Roza?"

There was only one person who called me that.

I smiled at the awesome, hot, Russian standing on my doorway. I stood up and ran to him, hugging him real tightly. "You came" I whispered.

He nodded and I just hugged him tighter. "You're going with me" I didn't say this as a question. I said this as a statement of fact.

He nodded and I was just relieved. I was lying when I said I didn't think Adrian should be there. I would be lying if I tried to convince Dimitri to not come with me either.

I needed them both, let's just hope that whatever's going on with them doesn't cause any kind of tension.

I started thinking back to when he first decided to call me by my Russian name.

_We were hanging out by the lake. The first place we met. We would go there almost every time we would hang out. Just like with Adrian it felt like me and Dimitri talked like forever. _

"_You know" I said. "Russian's a language that sounds really hard" I said as we were sitting on the ground in front of our bench. _

_He chuckled and he smiled, showing his teeth. It was rare seeing him wear that kind of smile. I loved it on him though. _

"_It's not that hard to learn" He said. _

"_Well not to you" I said. "But to someone like me who's a native of the U.S. it'll be harder to learn" _

"_And why all the sudden in learning a new language?" _

_I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you speak it? Or maybe because I love learning new and interesting things" _

_He smiled, and I felt my heart warm. _

_These two brothers had an affect on me in a way I completely love. _

"_How about we start with something simple?" He said. _

"_Like what?" I asked. _

"_Well do you want to learn how your name is said in Russian?" _

_I nodded. _

"_It's Roza" _

"_Roza?" _

_He nodded._

"_It sounds kind of nice. Unique." _

"_It is" He said. _

"_You know, you can call me that anytime you want. I really like that name" _

"_I was already planning on calling you that name all the time anyway" _

_I blushed and playfully shoved his shoulder. _

_And yeah, after that conversation, he started calling me only Roza. _

"Adrian told me the minute he stepped inside his room. He even packed for me and booked us a flight on the nearest time we can have"

"Thank you" I whispered.

"You know you don't have to thank me" He said.

"Yes I do. So just accept my gratitude"

He chuckled and hearing it along with his heartbeat calmed me just a little bit more.

My phone rang again and someone picked it up.

"Hello" Lissa said. "Hello Mr. Mazur. She's waiting on Sydney to book a flight to leave for tonight. I'll tell her sir. Okay goodbye"

Then the conversation ended. "Rose?"

I looked over to her. "You're dad's leaving right now on his private jet. He said he'll land in New York in two hours" I nodded and wiped away some of my traitor tears.

My phone rang again and if I didn't think I couldn't live without my phone I would throw it against the wall because I can't take anymore calls.

Lissa handed me my phone and I picked it up without looking to see who it was.

"Hello" I sighed.

"_I've booked a flight that's leaving two hours from now, I already called your principle and told her everything and the gates are opened for you to leave, and the doctors haven't told me anything yet" _

I chuckled. "You're the best as always Sydney. My father called and said he's using the jet so he'll be there in two hours. Just stay with her okay? Any news just call my cell and leave a voicemail until I get off the plane. I'll call you when I land"

"_I'll see you soon Rose"_

I shut the phone and grabbed my wallet along with my keys. The girls standing up from my bed, silently following me out my room.

"You're leaving already?" asked Lissa.

I nodded. "Two hours" I said.

"That's the time of our flight" said Dimitri.

"Good" I said.

When we all reached outside, Adrian was already there. He threw Dimitri his duffle bag and just followed me to my car. I handed the keys over to Adrian.

"Come on guys, get in." I said.

Mia and Lissa looked at me questioningly. "But you said we couldn't come with you" said Lissa.

"I need someone to bring my car back. I don't know how long I'll be over there. No use of having it in the airport parking lot"

They nodded and slipped in the back with me, while Adrian and Dimitri slipped in the front.

Adrian sped up to the back exit of the gate, already hitting seventy miles an hour before we left the university grounds.

I laid my head on Lissa's shoulder while I grabbed one of Mia's hands. I was so tired.

The feeling that my little bubble of happiness wouldn't last came right away. Will more unhappiness come? Because I don't think I can't take it.

I think I drifted to sleep which felt so much better than anything else swimming through my mind.

"Rose?" I felt someone lightly shake me.

"Hmm?"

"Come on Rose. We're here"

"Lissa?"

"Yeah come on. We're at the airport now."

That woke me up.

The airport.

My mom.

New York.

I quickly stepped out of the car and hugged Lissa.

"Take care of my baby okay" I joked. "She needs to go faster than sixty to make herself look good"

Lissa rolled her eyes and Mia laughed, taking the keys from Adrian. Basically stating that she was going to drive.

"Good looking out Mia" She winked at me.

"Call us when you land okay" said Mia.

I nodded. "And" Lissa said. "Take care of yourself"

She looked at Adrian and Dimitri. "Take care of our girl okay?"

I looked at them and they both nodded.

"Yeah, you better or you'll hear it from us" Said Mia.

I laughed. My girls were feisty when they wanted to be. It was kind of cute.

"I promise as soon as I land in New York and leave the gate I'll call you and tell you what's what" I said.

"Good" said Mia.

I hugged Lissa again and Mia came around the car and hugged me too.

They climbed and I waved until my car was out of sight.

I turned to the greatest guys in the world and smiled at them. I felt good having them here with me.

"Come on" I said as I looked at my cell phone for the time. "We have an hour left till our flights leave and I need to grab my ticket and something to eat"

Let's hope that whatever happened to my mom, she'll be okay by the time I get there.

* * *

**So I know how much semi-cliffies bother my readers  
but completely necessary in a whole lot of ways  
In the next couple of chapters, you guys will find out everything  
and possibly some kisses here, some deep confessions of love,  
some intimate love filled touches.  
You'll know everything you want to know and then some.  
**

**So review and tell me what's^**

**Peace In**

**-Kristy**


	14. Chapter 14

**Okie Dokie do before the holidays kick in I wanted to put up a chapter  
because until the nxt yr comes im on hiatus enjoying the holidays like everyone else  
So of course I thought of you guys and decided:  
'Hey why not upload something and make them love me so much more?'  
And I think you will and maybe you won't but I'm hoping you guys will lol  
So enjoy!**

**Usual Disclaimer  
VA = Richelle Mead****  
**

_Chapter 14  
__Unanswered Questions_

If I thought the flight from Missoula was long when I came back to school I never thought it would feel like an eternity sitting on this plane going back to New York.

"Rose" I looked at Adrian.

He put his hand on my knee. "You need to stop shaking, just relax okay? You need to be aware and focused when you land and reach the hospital"

"I know, I know but I can't help it Adrian. My mom's in the hospital! I've never known her to be admitted into a hospital. She's always been a clean bill of health"

"Roza" I turned to Dimitri. "Just calm down. We're here for you okay. And Adrian's right. You need to be aware and focused. If you're nervous and all over the place…you won't be able to function for your mom"

I nodded my head "You're both right" I grabbed both their hands and squeezed them lightly "I'm just worried. I feel like something bad is going to happen. It's like I can't shake the feeling, and it's making me more and more nervous, anxious"

It's true. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen.

In the pit of my stomach I can feel it and it's making itself known more and more as the time passes.

"I'm glad you guys are here. I don't know what I would've done if I was alone. You guys are the best"

"Yeah" Adrian said with a smirk. "we know we're the best. You don't have to tell us twice"

I let out a small snort and chuckled. "You're so full of yourself"

He smiled. "No, I'm not. I just know facts and that is 100% fact"

I looked at Dimitri. "Has he always been this weird or did it take a while for him to get this cocky?"

He pretended to think about it. "Hmm…I think it escalated until he exploded with weirdness and cockiness"

He laughed and I joined in.

"Hey" said Adrian. "I'm sitting right here you know"

"Yeah I know" I said.

Then he turned serious again. "Just get some rest okay. You need all your energy and being all nervous and anxious will wear you out"

I nodded. "Yeah, yeah okay. I'll try and see if I can take a nap before we get there. How long till we land"

"I'll ask the stewardess" He called over the stewardess and she came over smiling all cheesy, checking Adrian and Dimitri up and down. I couldn't help but scowl.

"Can I help you with something sir?" she said all smiley. Ugh!

"Yes, I was wondering how long until we land in New York?" asked Dimitri.

"It'll be another hour and a half before we land" she said.

"Thank you" he smiled a small smile and I could swear the stewardess had an orgasmic look on her face.

I couldn't blame her. These two guys were sex on legs and I'm glad everyone can see that. Still I hate to say I'm a little jealous. I hate seeing other girls ogle at them. Like I want to protect what's mine.

But then it kind of hit me. They don't belong to me. I haven't staked a claim. I can't though no matter how much I want too only because I wouldn't know who to claim as mine. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt myself.

Still I couldn't stop my mouth from saying anything stupid. Not when I was irrationally thinking.

"Wow, she looked like she was eye fucking you guys"

"Jealous much?" said Adrian.

I looked at Adrian. "What? No!"

I heard Dimitri chuckle and I turned to him and gave him a glare which caused a little laugh to come out of him. "He's right Roza" said Dimitri after he stopped laughing at me. "You do sound jealous"

"Ugh" I said leaning back onto my chair with my arms crossed. "Shut up"

"It really didn't look like she was 'eye fucking' me or Dimitri"

"Yeah right, she was basically undressing you in her head"

"Yeah you're not jealous at all" said Dimitri sarcastically.

"Idiots" I muttered.

They chuckled but didn't say anything after that.

Okay so yes, I was jealous. I am jealous. But it's like I already know. They don't belong to me no matter how much I wish they did.

I decided to see if I could sleep. It was one things the guys were right about. I do need to be focused and aware.

I still wonder what's wrong with my mother.

When she dropped me off at the airport the first day of school she was okay but still kind of mysterious, even for her.

I didn't think much of it at first, passing it as something wrong with one of her clients.

But collapsing? That involves fatigue, work stress.

My mother might love her job but she didn't overdo it. She did when I was a child. I remember staying in her office on the long body sofa she had there, sleeping until she thought time was appropriate to go home. I always noticed it was after midnight.

But still after that she slowed down, my father had asked her too only because he knew what it was doing to me. And she did slow down, I had family moments when I was younger, I knew what it was like to have beautiful memories without fake laughter, fake smiles. False declarations of love. Until my father walked away. Until he decided Natasha Ozera was more important that me. More important than my mother.

"Roza" Dimitri whispered in my ear. It sounded like a dream, that velvety Russian voice I've come to love. It made my heart swell. It made my insides swim with butterflies.

"Roza" He whispered again.

"Dimitri" I said, still sounding sleepy.

"Time to wake up Roza. We've almost landed"

"Where?"

I heard his chuckle and I wanted to have a smile on my face.

"New York" said Dimitri.

I nodded my head and my eyes fluttered open.

I did fall asleep.

"Alright, alright I'm getting up"

I opened my eyes and looked to the window seat.

I then turned to Dimitri. "Where's Adrian?"

"He got up and went to the bathroom before we landed"

I nodded.

Then I really looked at him and the way he was looking at me was wonderful. Those beautiful brown eyes I can't get enough of, so much darker and deeper than mine, showing so much love and devotion.

I've learned to read those eyes and whenever I could, I'd stare into them and I felt like I was in a different world. Like I've floated elsewhere into an oblivion of pure bliss.

I leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you" I said. I shortly inhaled some of his scent and it was the scent of aftershave. It was so Dimitri, like his own personal scent that was only made for him.

Then I felt a smile of his spread on his face and I swear I blushed.

"For what?" he said.

I turned me head and looked at him. "For being here for me. You really didn't have to, but you are and that's why I'm thanking you"

He raised his hand and put some of my hair behind my ear. "You have nothing to thank me for Roza. You know I'll always be here for you"

"I know"

Someone cleared their throat and I looked up to see Adrian standing there, looking at how Dimitri and I were sitting so close, in a small kind of intimate gesture.

I pulled back and sat down in my seat.

He passed me and sat in his seat with a sullen look on his face. A look of jealousy that for a single moment crossed his face.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

I turned my whole body to look at him tucking my knees under me. "Are you okay?"

He smiled. "Didn't I just ask you that in a different way?"

He's dodging me. I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm kind of glad I slept, it feels like it's been a while since I slept.

"It's good that you slept you were very anxious and nervous"

"Yeah, but I feel better now" I grabbed his hand and looked deeply into his eyes softly squeezing his hand.

He didn't acknowledge the gesture which kind of made me think he was jealous, which in turn made me sad. Seriously sad. But I hope I wouldn't let it show, and if it did that he would take the sad look on my face addressed to my moms unknown condition than instead of towards him.

For now though I have to concentrate on my mother. On what the hell is going on and to hope everything in the end turns alright.

**OoOoO**

**APOV**

I'm in love with her. Dimitri's in love with her. Confrontation about it was kind of expected. I've never felt this way about anyone, and it's like I knew from the beginning. I'd have to compete with my own brother for the love of a girl.

I wasn't going to give up, not on this.

Not when my heart is for once more happy than it's ever been before.

_It was after the kiss Rose and I shared. I arrived to my room I share with Dimitri and when he came back from Missoula he saw the change in me. _

_He knew me better than anyone. One quick glance and he saw the difference in me. _

_He figured it was something related to Rose and the look in his eye was sad but not surrendered. _

_So I told him what happened. I shared my feelings toward Rose, my feelings on how close they seem like they are though they just met. I told him straight out I love her. _

"_So you really love her" said Dimitri. _

"_Yeah, I do. I believe I do. And I would do anything to make her love me. I would do anything to reach her heart" _

_The way I said that, the determined look I gave him was as serious as it can be. _

"_I also love her. She's the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on" _

_He was serious. Determined. He was like me in this situation. We want the same girl. We love the same girl. It's not a bet. I would never do that to Rose. _

_The kiss we shared changed me, when I first looked at her I felt that she was holding me to this planet, keeping my feet on the ground instead of gravity. _

_She was the most beautiful witch who cast her spell on me. _

_And I wanted to just be close to her. I would never pressure her to be anything for me. I would hang out with her and we would talk and talk and I would get to know her because everything about her was completely fascinating. _

_I knew she'd see Dimitri too. I didn't care. She wants to be his friend and I don't care. _

_She cares for Dimitri as much as she says she cares for me and just like him, I would be anything for her, do anything for her. _

It's why I'm on this plane right now, along with my brother, accompanying the woman we love to New York because of the distraught news that her mother is in the hospital.

I don't think I've ever seen Rose so broken before.

No, that's not true. I have. The time she told me about her father and how he abandoned her and her mother for someone else.

For Christian's aunt Natasha.

I got up to go to the bathroom right before we land. She'd been asleep so she wouldn't be missing me anytime soon and I wouldn't be worried about her.

She fell asleep being a bundle of nerves and then when I came back I see her giving Dimitri a kiss on the cheek, thanking him for being here for her.

I got jealous and I wanted to ignore her, I wanted to be mad at her, I wanted to be mad at Dimitri.

But I can't. Rose cares for him and she cares for me.

She always asks if there's something going on between us. There's nothing going on between us and at the same time there is.

But how am I supposed to tell her that I'm fighting against my own brother for her love?

For her heart?

She would walk away from us. I know her just like I know Dimitri.

Rose would walk away from us so she wouldn't hurt one of us.

I don't ever want to think about what it would be like if she stepped away, if she decided that she wasn't worth fighting for.

But I don't care if she would think that. I would fight for her love and if I lost, then it'd still be whatever she'd want me to be.

But for now I'm fighting for her love just like Dimitri is. And whoever wins her heart is the true winner.

**RPOV **

When we landed and arrived to the parking lot I saw my father waiting by his limo. I let go of the guys hands and ran to him with tears streaming down my face.

My father hugged me tight and soothed my hair. I just buried my head deeper on his chest.

I haven't seen him in so long and him being here right now is a bigger weight off my shoulders.

I looked up at him and wiped away some of my tears.

"Have you seen her yet?" I asked him.

"Yes. She's not awake right now, they have her sedated"

I let go of him and got a better look at his appearance. He looked worn out, tired and sad.

"What are you not telling me?"

He looked me in the eyes and he didn't look like he had any other choice but to tell me.

"What are you not telling me Abe?" I asked again.

"Rose-"

"No!" I interrupted him. "What aren't you telling me?"

I thought about it. Thought really hard about it. Of course there's only one thing that comes to mind. The reason him and I are both here.

He knows what's wrong with my mom. They told him what's wrong with my mom.

Why didn't they wait until I got here. It's why I was called here right?

"Do you know what's wrong with her?"

He looked away from me and I just wanted to punch him in the face.

"Do. You. Know. What's. Wrong. With. Her." My voice was hard, deadly. I was getting ready to grab him by the collar and beat the answer out of him.

I could see one his guards coming closer to me. Ready to restrain me if necessary.

I also felt my guardian angels behind me, ready to come to my aid.

"Your mom's dying"

"What" I whispered.

After that a lot of things didn't register. I couldn't hear or make sense of anything.

I heard footsteps behind me though, I heard my blood pumping faster through my veins, I felt dizzy, I saw my father mouthing words but I couldn't hear him.

I felt myself falling and I didn't know if anyone was going to catch me.

"Rose!"

"Roza!"

I heard my angels and that's all before everything went black.

* * *

**Huge cliffie! I know! I feel like the queen of the cliffies but I don't do it on purpose  
I want to prolong curiosity and also have my readers guess  
That's how much I love you guys  
So tell me what you thought of this chap. **

** Review! **

** Peace In **

** -Kristy**


	15. Chapter 15

**SOOOOOOO I decided one more time b4 the New Year  
to upload a chapter for you guys.  
Things for a little while longer are gonna be in and out  
but dont worry, you'll be surprised how all of this turns out  
I don't know if anyone has ideas of future chapters but I'm taking  
suggestions... **

**Anyway Enjoy the Holidays everyone! **

**Usual disclaimer: Richelle Mead = VA**

_Chapter 15  
__Truths & Answers _

**APOV **

"Rose!"

"Roza!"

She was falling. It felt like it was all in slow motion. Like it wasn't me standing here watching the girl I love lose consciousness after hearing that her mother is dying.

Dimitri and I ran towards her. Her father's bodyguard caught her and he's now supporting all her weight.

"Get my daughter into the car" said Rose's father.

He looked worn out, but the authority that radiated off him was noticed.

He looked like a huge mobster. In a suit, long coat with a scarf around it, clean shaven face, a little earring located on his right ear. He screamed money and authority.

Just like Rose described.

"Who are you?" he asked us after Rose was safely put in the car, laid down.

"We're Rose's friends from school" I said. "I'm Adrian Ivashkov. And this is my brother Dimitri Belikov"

He looked at both of us up and down and I felt kind of weird seeing him do that.

"Nathan Ivashkov's son and step son right?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir"

"Well get in. I don't have all night to wait for you"

He stepped in near Rose and shut the door. Jeez could he be anymore stuck up than he looked.

Dimitri tightened his hand on his duffle bag and walked around to the other side of the limo. I just followed.

When we stepped in we sat further down the limo by the divider window.

I didn't have any words to say to Mr. Mazur, because yes Rose has her mother's name. Apparently she had her last name changed after her mother and father divorced.

She said she didn't want to be tied to someone like him.

But when I looked at him sitting next to his daughter, he looked as if though she was the only thing in his world. The way he soothed her hair, the way I could softly hear him saying words in his native language to her.

He cared about her, yet Rose hated him in every way. Because according to her, who abandons their family if they didn't care?

"Sir" Dimitri spoke up and Abe looked at him.

"What did you mean when you told Rose that he mother's dying?"

He sighed and looked at Dimitri. "It's what you heard. Janine's dying. She has a brain tumor caused by the cancer she beat years ago. Rose knows some of this story. And she looks at her mom as a survivor in a way because her grandmother died of cancer when she was a child. It's a Metastatic Brain Tumor. Apparently the tumor couldn't be detected, so she didn't even know she had it which doesn't make any sense. The doctor says she's had no symptoms of said brain tumor every time she went in for her annual check up she was a clean bill of health. It's far escalated for any kind of surgery to happen now. The risks are too high and she could die on the table. So now all we have to do is wait;" He took a second to collect his words and his breathing, because I swore that the man was about to cry. And I couldn't blame him, that was the mother of his only child. In some ways he cared a lot about her. "Wait until her mother can't take the strain anymore and…dies"

"I'm very sorry sir" said Dimitri.

"My condolences Mr. Mazur" I said.

"Thank you. For everything. You're very good friends to Rose"

We just nodded. And I looked at her unconscious form next to her father and I felt my heart breaking for her. I've never seen her in so much pain, I've never seen so much anger make an appearance before. **We **(My brother and I)couldn't find any way to help her, the only thing we could do was be here for her. But all her friends back at school, along with her father, and of course me and my brother will have to be here for her when the time comes to say goodbye.

When the car stopped Rose was still unconscious and I was kind of worried. She buried herself in her mind to escape all this but she had to get out of her mind long enough to see her mother, to say goodbye.

When we got out, I noticed we arrived at someone's house. I just didn't know who's.

"This is Janine and Rose's house. I think it'd be more comfortable and better for her if we arrived here so whenever she awoke, she would have a better reaction to her surroundings, than the reaction she would have to an unknown surrounding of a hotel"

When his bodyguard got out of the front seat of the car he came to stand close to Abe.

"Pavel" he addressed his bodyguard. "take her to her room and make sure that the staff have these boys guestroom ready"

Pavel nodded and reached in and slowly took Rose out of the limo, carrying her up into the house.

Her house wasn't as big as I thought it would be, considering I know Rose has just as much money as I do. Maybe her mother didn't want to flaunt it, because according to what Rose has told me about her mother, her law firm, and her father. Rose is seriously loaded. Her words, not mine.

When we entered the house Dimitri and I were asked to follow a man through the house. We were lead to the guestroom and it was set for two people, which is kind of a good thing. The man who looked like a butler was about to leave but first I had a question.

"Excuse me?" he turned to look at me.

"Yes sir?"

"May I ask your name?"

He nodded. "It's Andrew. I'm Ms. Rose's driver"

I nodded. "Can you tell me how to get to Rose's room? I want to be there when she wakes up"

I could feel Dimitri's stare but I didn't care, we both had to be with Rose right now. Any kind of rivalry for her love will have to wait.

"You go down the hall, when you reach the main hall by the large staircase you go right up, and down all the way to the end of the hall and that's her door"

"Thank you Andrew"

He nodded. "Anything else you need sirs just ask me or the staff"

"Thank you"

He nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

"Do you want to go up first or should I?" asked Dimitri.

I shrugged. "I don't really care. Either way we're here for her and if we're there when she wakes up, that's all that matters"

He nodded. "Yeah, you're right. For right now though, I'm just gonna lay here for a little while. I think her father's with her right now"

"Yeah" I said as I laid on the bed, plopping my shoes on the floor. "maybe you're right"

I got comfortable and closed my eyes. I know I was falling asleep, but I didn't care, because as I felt sleep over claiming me, I dreamt about Rose for the first time.

**RPOV **

I was in total blackness. Darkness. I know why I was here though. I lost consciousness when my father told me my mother was dying.

When I would lose someone else I loved.

I thought that this wave of unhappiness would end, that it would be this one time bad news, that it was just exhaustion from working so hard.

But it isn't.

My mom is dying and everything in the world doesn't make any kinds of sense.

I have to get back and see her. I have to wake up from the inside of my mind.

I know it all sounds clinical, I know it all sounds stupid. But I don't care.

I know my angels are here and they're going to protect me. I know they are.

So I decided to just get the hell out of here, I'm Rose Hathaway. I'm bad ass and no one gets in my way of anything.

When I opened my eyes I was faced with my ceiling from my bedroom back at home in New York, that's when I felt someone next to me, soothing my hair.

"Baba?"

"I'm here Kazim"

I started crying. "Is it true?" I asked him.

"It is"

"Why?"

"I don't know Rose. I don't know. I don't know how to make any of this better"

"What's wrong with her?"

"She has a brain tumor. It seems that it came after her cancer survival"

I sat up on my bed and wiped my tears. I looked at him.

"She's had that thing all these years? How could they have not detected it?"

He shook his head. "I don't know"

"What exactly do you know Abe?"

"I'm sorry Rose" Is that all he can say?

I stood up from my bed and looked at him, my hands on my hips. "Is that all you can do? Apologize? I don't need your apologies. I've had enough of those when you decided to leave us for some woman!"

I started pacing my room. I was so angry. Because of him! It's because of him that my mother was always sad.

Always working.

Always distant from me.

All because he left her for another woman, a woman he was with longer than even I suspected.

He was the cause of all the sadness I've gone through.

"You're worst than anything I've ever known. It's all because of you that she's how she is. Because of you!"

I felt tears in my eyes and I rubbed them off really hard. I wasn't ever going to cry because of him.

"Because of you and how heartless you are! didn't you think of how she would feel, how she'd react. You didn't see her after you left! She looked like a ghost. It's like she didn't know who I even was"

It was all true. I wasn't saying any of this to make him feel bad, or guilty. I was telling him because he needed to know what he did to his family.

"I don't know what you want me to tell you Rose. I can't say that I regret what I did because I couldn't be with your mother. I didn't love her"

"But she loved you and you didn't see that. You were more interested in you and the other _woman_ because I can't even think straight. I have so many things I want to call her, so many things I wanna do to her. You don't know anything!"

He sighed and looked even more sad than I've ever seen him.

"All I can do is apologize. I can't turn back time"

"Of course you can't turn back time. It's not possible but know that I hate you. I hate you because of all the bad things you've caused to happen. And I know there is no way in hell that you can do anything to fix them. So if you don't mind. Please leave my room"

He didn't say anything. He didn't have the right to…after everything he's done to me and my mother he deserved the truth spat right in his face. If I was going to be miserable, then he deserved to be miserable 10x more.

He left and closed the door behind him and I just sat on my bed for a while before I decided I needed a change of clothes. I needed something to distract me. Even if it was minor.

I went inside my closet and grabbed my black skinny jeans, my knee high converse, and my black long sleeved t-shirt. I noticed it was already getting cold back here in the city so this was as good as dressing as any.

I left my room to go and find Adrian and Dimitri, but I didn't know if they were here or not so I decided to ask Amanda. My loyal nanny/housekeeper. I entered the kitchen and found her.

"How are you sweetie?"

"You know the answer to that Amanda" I said as I sat down on the small stool by the counter.

She nodded. "I know sweetie, but I feel like I have to ask anyway"

"I know I'm sorry"

"It's okay. Do you want anything to drink?"

"Pink lemonade please"

She went to get it from the fridge and I remember why I was here in the first place.

"Amanda?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you know if there were two guys here about my age that came in with my father?"

She put the lemonade in front of me and I took a long sip.

"Yes, Andrew put them in the guestroom"

I put my half glass of lemonade on the counter and hopped off the stool, running out the kitchen. "Thanks Amanda"

I went out the kitchen making a left turn and ended up in the hallway in front of the guestroom door.

I knocked the door and when I didn't hear anything I knocked again.

So I was just decided to let myself in.

And when I opened the door I figured out why.

They were both quietly sleeping in their beds. They looked peaceful and well yeah, kind of beautiful at the same time.

I first went to Adrian's bed and softly ran my hand through his hair. He had no shirt on, so I'm guessing he removed his clothes before hitting the sack. I'm guessing that they thought I wouldn't wake up until the next day or something. He didn't stir, but he softly smiled and hummed softly.

"Rose" he said in a sleepy voice, with a small smile on his face.

He was dreaming about me and through all the sadness in my heart, I felt some kind of peace.

I moved around to Dimitri's and I kind of blushed when I saw his hair was sort of wet on the tips and he also wasn't wearing a shirt. His muscles were all toned and they showed perfectly with the way he was lying on the bed -one arm behind his head, while his other was on his stomach- he looked like a god in human form.

I didn't want to touch him, I didn't want to ruin the beautiful form lying in front of me.

So I just let them sleep and decided to take shelter in the small couch and wait out my angels.

Because yeah, they're my angels, they make me always feel better, they'll try and protect me and deep down in my heart I know they love me just as much as I love them.

I stretched myself out on the couch, grabbed the extra comforter that's kept here and snuggled up.

I still felt tired and I knew it wouldn't take long before I felt sleep claim me.

And when I knew I was asleep, I found myself dreaming about angels.

* * *

**So tell me what you thought about this chapter.  
By the end of next week I'll have something for you guys  
So for now enjoy the New Year and hope all yours guys Resolutions come to pass **

**So Review, review, review! **

**Peace In & Happy New Year **

**-Kristy **


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay so Happy New Years to all you guys out there.  
And also thank you to my 100th reviewer Starz321766  
you guys don't know how excited I was when I saw!  
I was jittery, like sugar high jittery  
Anywayz this is my 1st time doing an all APOV chapter  
but in my head I needed his thoughts to be known  
I know a lot of my Adrian fans will looooove it **

**Enjoy! **

**Usual Disclaimer R.M. = VA**

_Chapter 16  
__Just A Little More Time _

**APOV **

The sun was out and when I looked to the clock next to me it said ten in the morning.

I can't believe I slept all night. Though I was tired, I thought a nap would do so then I'd be there for Rose when she woke up.

Well I bet she's awake now and Dimitri's with her.

I sighed and threw my arm over my eyes. Of course he has to be the hero.

Well either way, I'm still here for Rose. So I'm just gonna go shower and find her.

I threw the covers to the side and got up from the bed, went to pick up my duffle bag from where I left it. I brought it back to my bed and when I looked to see if Dimitri did indeed leave to find Rose, I was shocked and a little happy about what I saw.

Rose was sleeping on Dimitri's bed. Her hand tucked under her head, a peaceful look upon her beautiful face. Such radiant beauty. I went to stand in front of her and gently soothed her hair. She stirred a little and mumbled. How long has she been here? When did she get here? And why was she sleeping in Dimitri's bed?

"My Dimitri" she whispered softly.

I sighed and moved away from her. My heart aching at her words. So she dreams about Dimitri? I nodded and ran my hand through her hair. Of course she'd dream about him. He's the good guy, the guy every girl wants. Dimitri's the one who makes her dreams peaceful. I could never do that for Rose.

I was & guess I still am the player every girl wants to sleep with.

I sighed and took my duffel bag into the bathroom with me. I turned on the shower to hot and stripped all my clothes and stepped in.

Being in love for the first time hurts. It hurts a lot more than I thought it would. Still all the while, I find some comfort in loving her. She makes every pain I've ever felt go away. Happiness is the only thing she gives me.

But the way she said Dimitri's name in her sleep. She sounded so full of relief. He's the one who makes her happy right? She could've fallen in love with him, and I would've never seen it.

I'm that blinded by her. By the beauty she emanates. The spell she's put on me by complete accident.

I sighed and turned the water off, stepping out of the shower and getting dressed after I dried off.

After I buttoned my jeans I went back out to the bedroom to get my shoes.

Rose was still asleep. But she was on my bed now?

When did she wake up? And how come she just didn't knock on the bathroom to tell me she had woken up?

I looked at the clock again. It was almost eleven and I think she should wake up. I know she wants to go see her mother now.

I kissed her hair and soothed it. "Rose. Come on beautiful, time to wake up"

She moaned and turned the other way. "Five more minutes" she whimpered.

I laughed. "Rose. Come on, you have to get up. You need to eat before we go see your mom"

She didn't turn around and I could've sworn she heard me. But I realized then that she was awake because of the soft sniffling I heard.

"So it really wasn't a dream then?" she asked. Her voice all husky.

"No, it really wasn't. I'm sorry Rose"

She nodded and sat up on the bed wiping away the small tears that appeared.

I lifted her legs and sat down on the bed, putting her legs on my lap.

"How long have you been sleeping here? I thought you were in your room?"

She nodded and moved her hair out of her face. "Yeah, I was. But when I had an argument with Abe, I decided to try and find you guys. Amanda, my nanny, told me Andrew installed you guys here. I thought you guys were awake but when I knocked and no one answered I let myself in and found you guys sleeping. So instead of being all alone up in my room, I crashed on the sofa right there. I don't know how I ended up on Dimitri's bed though. So when I woke up I just shifted to your bed instead"

I smiled. "It's all the same Rose"

She shook her head like a stubborn child. "You don't get it" she said with a small pout. She looked incredibly beautiful.

"So then explain it"

"I don't want to"

I laughed and she smiled. "Okay, whatever the lady wants"

"Good" she said.

I just shook my head. "Come on now, I'm hungry and I know you are too"

She groaned and got up from the bed standing in front of me. I looked up at her and even though she just woke up and probably thought she needed retouching. I still thought she was a picture of perfection.

She put her hand softly through my hair and I closed my eyes sighing. Her touch felt so good, it made me feel sord of alive in a lot of different ways.

I was lost in everything around me, but when her lips touched my forehead my heart sprinted.

"Thank you for being here" she whispered. Her hot breath on my skin, it made me shiver.

I put my hands on her hips and pulled her to me. "You know I'd do anything for you. No need to thank me"

She took her hand from my hair and put her hands around my neck, my ear right on her heart, hearing it beat. "It's why I'm thanking you" she said softly "because even though you don't have to be, you're here"

"It's like I just said. I would do anything for you"

"And I still don't know why" she whispered.

"_Because I love you" _I thought.

"Come on" I said as I stood up and grabbed her hand, leading her out of the room. "I'm hungry and I'm pretty sure Dimitri's already eaten all the good food"

She chuckled and I smiled. Seriously though, my brother is huge in muscle, I wonder how much food he can store. Because at home…Mom always has to make extra.

I decided to let Rose lead me, because after all this is her house. So when we arrived to the kitchen I was surprised to not find him there.

"Amanda?"

The woman in the kitchen turned around smiling lightly at Rose.

"Yes dear"

"Uh, did a big muscled looking guy come around here to eat any breakfast?"

She thought for a second before she answered & shook her head. "No, I haven't seen anyone like that around here this morning"

"Okay. Have you seen Andrew?"

"He should be outside getting the mail"

"Thank Amanda"

Rose took my hand and led me to the front door and before she opened it there was Andrew already coming in.

"Good Morning Ms. Rose"

She sighed and shook her head smiling lightly. "I don't know how long its been since you've called me Ms. but please don't"

He smiled and nodded. "What can I do for you today Rose?"

"I was wondering if you've seen Adrian's brother? We didn't find him in the kitchen, so I was wondering if you've seen him anywhere"

"Oh, yes the young man who came in with you last night?"

Rose nodded her head.

"The young man stepped out to make a small run. He told me if you awoke to tell you"

"A small run?" asked Rose. "did he need to buy something?"

Andrew shook his head. "No. he went out for a morning run. It seems the gentleman does it every morning"

Rose blushed and bit her bottom lip. "Oh." she said. "Okay. Well when he comes back direct him to my room Andrew"

He nodded his head. "Yes Rose"

Then he walked back I guess to the kitchen. Rose pulled my hand and lead me up the stairs, I guess to her room.

When I walked in, I didn't imagine it to be so punk rock-ish. Her walls are dark purple, she has posters of rocks bands hanging around and even though there was a huge chandelier in the middle of the room, it wasn't even used because when she hit the light switch, studio lights lit up the room. You could tell this was her own personal heaven.

The room back at school looked nothing like this. It looked classy with a little punk & I thought it did match some of her.

But this.

This place is her own personal heaven. It had all of her and I bet she enjoyed being here more often when she was at home.

"You could go ahead and have a seat on my bed ya know" she smiled at me from her position on the bed. "You don't have to stand there looking like you're out of place"

I chuckled and sat next to her.

"I'm just surprised is all"

She looked up at me. Confused. "Surprised at what?"

I smiled and looked around her room again, shaking my head. "It's just that your room is different here than it is at school"

She softly laughed and nodded her head. "Yeah, I know"

"How come?"

"It's because I guess I'm two different people"

"Two different people?"

She nodded. "Yeah. When I'm at home I'm this rebel, laid back chick who doesn't love rules & loves as much privacy as she can get"

"But you're already like that"

She shook her head. "Not really. When I'm at school, I have to be different than what I am when I'm at home. The rebellion, and the non respect I have for authority is all blown away." she sighed and put her head on my shoulder, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers together. "My mother doesn't like to be called and told I'm misbehaving. She likes to make as less trips as possible. She considers it scandal to her and to the clients that she represents. Basically I have to not embarrass her. I sometimes slip up. Sometimes the rebellious side comes out and I lash out and I get in trouble. My mom has to show up and I'm put through shame because of the embarrassment she says I've caused her"

"Wow" I said.

She shook her head and I kissed her hair. She still smelled like nuts. Then I heard her crying and I pulled her on my lap and I let her cry on my shoulder.

"Shh" I ran my hand through her hair and she placed her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. This is the only way I knew how to make her feel better. Just by holding her.

But when she softly started kissing my neck, I tensed up.

"Rose" I said, my voice shaky.

She kept kissing me softly, then she moved up and I felt like my body was on fire. This is what her simple kisses do to me.

I had my rationality scream at me, telling me that I know why she was kissing me. Telling me that I should stop this, because she might not regret it and neither would I, but that right now…it wouldn't be healthy for her.

But then she turned around in my lap, her body facing mine, her breasts pressed on my chest. My hands automatically just went to her hips and I pulled her to me. Her lips on mine so soft, so warm moving slowly against mine. Then it starts increasing and the burning feeling I'm getting just to take her and have her.

She grinded her hips against me, grabbing my hair and pulling me onto her with even more force. I sighed a soft moan and rubbed circles on her hips, her skin so soft, so warm. She was gonna be the death of me.

But I just couldn't hold myself back.

So I didn't.

I kissed her and then went lower, her neck, her collarbone. The moan that she let out drove me to the edge and I flipped her on her back. She looked at me. Longing in her eyes.

Sadness.

Lust.

"meu înger" I whispered to her, moving a strand of hair from her face. My finger tracing down her cheek around her chin, softly and slowly down her neck.

She was looking up at me, confusion just a little bit shown on her face.

I know she didn't know what I said. It was in Romanian & I know Rose doesn't know any other language besides English.

But as much as I wanted to tell her what it meant, I couldn't really look away from her eyes and concentrate on anything else. She was holding me. Looking inside me and I felt vulnerable. All of this was new to me.

Love.

She ran her hand through my hair, traced it down to my cheek and placing her index finger right on my lip.

I kissed it softly and for a moment her eyes closed, a small moan from her lips.

"Adrian?" she whispered.

"meu înger?" I whispered right back.

"Kiss me again"

And I did. Because I can never ever deny her anything.

She began to unbutton my shirt one by one. It was driving me insane with lust. But I can be patient. I can wait all my life for her if that's what she wished me to do.

And when she reached the last button she placed both her warm hands on my chest and ran her hands up and down slowly.

That's when I went back down to the hem of her shirt and slowly pushed it up. I traced small circles every time I discovered another part on her skin and when I reached her breast she arched her back and let out a soft moan.

Watching her like this, watching her moan, watching how her body reacted to _my_ touch…made my body react as well.

So I did it again I softly squeezed her breast and again when I heard her moan it gave more reaction to my lower region.

So I kept at it. I kept squeezing her breast and when I saw her hard nipple I couldn't resist.

I softly twisted it and her moan just became louder. And my junior became harder.

"Adrian" she said my name, softly panting.

"Yes my love?"

"Take me. Take me and make this pain go away. You're the only one who can"

That's the bucket of ice cold water hitting me in the face the minute she said those words.

"I'm sorry Rose. But I can't"

* * *

**Okay so how was that?  
I promise not to leave you guys hanging for so long this time.  
the spring semester in college is starting soon, but I will try &  
keep you guys happy with an UD from time to time.  
So did you guys think that would be Adrian's answer to Rose's plea?  
Next chapter you'll understand why. **

**So review, review, review **

**Peace In **

**-Kristy**


	17. Chapter 17

**Here's the next chapter you guys!  
I'm sorry for slow updated but school has got me going crazy!  
Since I live in NyC the snow storms have set college back 4 me &  
now work, work, work.  
Sometimes I wonder why anyway makes a career out of teaching?  
**

**UD on my Twilight|Vampire Academy crossover story.  
On a small hiatus...sorry guys.  
But I can't take time for two stories anymore.  
Maybe during my days off?  
We'll see. **

**Anywayz!  
I hope you guys enjoy thic chapter.  
A filler before Rose's world falls apart...again!**

**VA=RM**

**Enjoy!**

_Chapter 17  
__Before Goodbye _

**RPOV **

"I'm sorry Rose. But I can't"

Those words were what made my heart ache. He denied me & worst of all denied me the pleasure of taking away the pain I have deep inside my heart.

My only escape.

I felt my eyes well up with tears & my heart break a little bit more.

"Why?" I asked my voice getting thicker by the second.

"Because." he said as he wiped the tear that fell down my cheek with his thumb. "I want you so bad that I want you to enjoy it. Not just use it as an excuse to take the away your pain. I know that in the end, the pain will still be there when everything is done & I don't want that. I want to take all your pain away. Forever. Not for just a brief moment"

I knew he was right. I knew what to expect after my brief moment of satisfaction. More and more pain.

The pain hasn't gone away, and even though these two are here…the pain is deeper than ever. All consuming. And no matter what happened, it'll be there until it was ready to leave me.

I nodded and fixed my shirt, I clung to him like my life depended on it. And in some ways…it really did.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

He shook his head and kissed the top of mine while rubbing my back soothingly.

"You have nothing to apologize for my love. I know you're in pain. I know how that feels, to lose someone you love. It's the most painful thing in the world"

"I don't know how to deal with it Adrian. I'm scared" I whispered on his shoulder. I don't know why I couldn't make my voice a little louder, make it sound a little more confident.

I thought I was behind this, I needed a break from all the lies, from all the heart break.

I needed peace. But it seems I wouldn't get any of that any time soon.

I should be mad at him because of this rejection. I've never been rejected by any guy before. I was always, _always_ wanted…never rejected.

So then why don't I feel enraged? Why aren't I screaming at him, pounding his chest, and kicking him out of my room?

Oh yeah, I know why. Because no matter what I know he won't leave me alone with my pain. He loves me.

"Do you ever think I'll be able to have a normal happy life?" I asked him in a soft whisper.

He kissed the top of my head, and though his heart beat was loud within my ears I heard everything he had to say.

"Of course you'll be able to have a happy normal life. Rose. No one lives in sadness forever & I'll be here to make sure you're as happy as you can be"

I hugged his chest tighter, my head still tucked underneath his. "You're awesome" I said.

He snickered. "I've been told that from time to time"

I snorted and shook my head. "Big ego Mr. Ivashkov"

He chuckled. "Only because of you Ms. Hathaway"

I shook my head. "Nah, I think you were just born that way"

"Oh, thank you so much" his voice dripping so much sarcasm it made me laugh.

"There we go" he said. "I was wondering when I was going to hear that laugh"

"You're such a loser" I said.

I felt him shrug. "I'm your loser"

I nodded. "Yeah, I know"

He just laughed and I'm kind of glad that weird conversation is over.

We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me & me, inhaling the sweet smell that is and will always be Adrian.

A knock on my door interrupted the small heaven I created for myself and I internally groaned. I separated myself from Adrian and sat upright on my bed, my back on my headboard.

"Come in"

"Roza" I automatically smiled because that name was beautiful…just like the man who was saying it to me right now.

I jumped out of the bed so fast I thought I was going to trip. Thankfully I didn't and I flung myself at Dimitri wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

"Wow" he said. "am I always going to receive a welcome hug like this every time I see you?"

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Maybe"

He put me down and kissed my forehead while softly cupping my cheek. "I'll be looking forward to it Roza"

"Did you just get in?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, I got in half an hour ago but I wanted to shower before I came up to see you"

I blushed and bit my lip looking away from him. I have to admit that I would've loved to feel him all sweaty under me. "That's okay. Adrian was keeping me company so if you wanted you could've went and ate something after your shower"

"Actually I was wondering if we could all eat now. Together" he said.

I looked back to Adrian. "What do you think? You hungry?" I asked him.

He stood up from my bed and was already opening my door so he could step out. "What do you think beautiful?" he smirked.

I rolled my eyes and followed him downstairs.

"Are you always this hungry?" I asked Adrian.

"Come on, I barely eat. Look at me," He gestured his hand up and down his body and I had to look. Up _and _down. I liked what I saw. "I'm super skinny"

"You're just saying that so I can deny that and call your body hot or something along those lines"

He winked at me and smiled that ten megawatt smile of his. "You know me too well baby"

Dimitri laughed and I rolled my eyes. "Big ego" was all I said.

"Only because of you" he said. I just rolled my eyes.

When we got into the kitchen Amanda had already set up the plates on the island that resided in the middle of the kitchen. She made pancakes, eggs, bacon, has browns, & on the side chocolate chip waffles.

"You're psychic you know that" I told her while she finished pouring me orange juice.

"No, I just know you and I know when you're hungry. I'm cool that way" she winked and I laughed.

I nodded. "Yeah, you're right. You're super cool" I sat on the stool that was in front of my plate and was about to dig in when Amanda interrupted me.

"Your father wants to see you in his study after you've finished your breakfast"

I sighed and moved my plate away. "I think I just lost my appetite"

"Rose-" Adrian said but I held my hand up to stop him. I looked at Amanda.

"Tell him that if he needs to speak to me, to come to me and say what he has to say. As far as I know after my mother dies, I'm in charge of this household"

I got up from my stool and made my way to the fridge for a Red Bull. I've lost my appetite for my favorite breakfast all because of that old man. Might as well have something to fill my stomach, I know I'll need it when I arrive at the hospital.

Amanda just sighed and nodded, leaving me alone with Adrian and Dimitri who were staring at me with disapproving expressions on their faces.

I finished my Red Bull and threw it in the recycling bin, before they could even say what they wanted to say I stopped them. "No, no I won't behave or stop my sarcastic attitude or anything you find disapproving. I'm fine and just taking the title that's rightfully mine"

I started walking back out and before I completely left I turned back to look at them. "I'm going out to the backyard. Enjoy your breakfast. I know Amanda's cooking is the best, so you shouldn't put it to waste"

I went out into the back yard and sat on the small couch that was put out here, near the fireplace. It seems that someone was sitting out here before because the fire's burning slightly. I would sometimes sit out here when it would rain. Thank god for the deck above me, leading right into my mother's bedroom. She and I used to sit out there in the summer when I was a kid. She read books to me, her favorite classics.

I couldn't remember them now, but I could remember the happiness at being this close to my mother.

I don't know what changed but one day all the happiness just stopped. I began to drift away from my mom but only because she drifted first. And if I've learned anything from my mother, is to not beg for a single thing.

"I do understand that you're upset with me. But I would like it very much if you didn't disrespect me in front of the employees" said Abe from right behind me.

"As the lady of this house now, I can't show weakness. Especially to you" I said as I continued to stare at the beautiful garden my mom had planted here a long time ago. It was getting colder so I know this beauty wouldn't last until spring came again and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here for the spring anyway.

He sighed and sat down as far away from me as the couch allowed. "I was thinking-"

"Oh! You think?" I asked sarcastically. "I'm sorry but I find that hard to believe"

He sighed and started talking again like I haven't said anything. "I was thinking that maybe I could move back into this house. So you wouldn't have to feel alone after your mother has passed away"

I scoffed. "Don't you think it's a bit late for that? I needed you two years ago. Besides I don't think your guilt should bring you to do something you don't want to do, considering you were the one who decided to leave and also file for the divorce"

"I don't want you to be all alone in this house. Why don't you move out of here? I'll pay for your living arrangements, I'll transfer Amanda and Andrew to wherever you want to live. They'll be comfortable and you'll be comfortable as well"

This time I had to turn and look at him. "You don't know the first thing about me to know what'll make me feel comfortable. I'm not leaving & neither are Andrew and Amanda. This is where I'm staying. If you want to do something, get yourself here and run the firm or have someone you really trust running it. Because it's one thing I won't do"

I stood up and left him sitting there, hearing him sigh forcefully before I walked back into the house. I cannot believe that he would actually think that taking me out of here would make me feel any less alone than I already do. He doesn't know anything and now that my mom's passing away he'll never know anything. I won't let him.

I walked back into the kitchen & saw the guys finishing up while I saw Andrew taking a drink of orange juice.

"Andrew. When you're done with that I'm ready to go and see my mother at the hospital"

He nodded and put his cup in the sink. "Right away Rose. Should I inform your father?"

I nodded. "But tell him I'll meet him there. If you don't mind driving the small car instead of the limo?"

He shook his head. "Of course not Rose. It'll all be ready in 5 minutes"

I nodded. "I'll be ready by then. Come on guys, let's go up to my room while everything's ready"

They stood up and Dimitri told Andrew to please thank Amanda for the delicious breakfast she made.

I wish I could've tasted that breakfast. I know she made it just for me. She's always knows the best comfort food for different times of the day. I smiled. She is the best on the whole planet. I have to tell her that a lot more often.

When I entered my room I just threw myself on my bed, while Adrian sat on the floor, his back pressed on my legs for support and Dimitri? Well he was standing my the front door.

I shook my head. "Nu-uh Dimitri you lay over here on my bed next to me"

He smiled and came to lay his head on my tummy. His legs were all the way out of the bed. Seriously how tall is he?

His hair was smooth, and smelled freshly washed. His aftershave engulfed me and I've never felt more safe & more relaxed in the 2 years my life's gone to hell.

Still this is temporary. I know that, because in just a little bit I'll be saying goodbye to Janine Hathaway. My mother.

I'm just wondering if I'll be able to survive this?

Am I that strong or is it just a show?

I guess we'll find out soon enough.

* * *

**There you go guys!  
I hope you liked this chapter.  
I'm hoping Ill be able to put another up for this wknd.  
Anywayz. review, review, review. **

**Peace In Readers! **

**-Kristy**


	18. Chapter 18

**I had writer's block! Some of you know how that is right?  
Anyway my beautiful loyal reader, here's the new chapter  
you've guys been waiting for.  
I'm working on a new plot in my head for this story,  
it came a while ago when I was skimming through my brain  
I hope you guys enjoy it when I post it.  
But for now enjoy this chapter.  
**

**Usual Disclaimer: RM=VA**

_Chapter 18  
__Goodbye _

**RPOV**

The ride to the hospital was quiet. But of course that really was to be expected. What was I really going to say? 'Oh hey how's it going?'

Yeah, that's what I want to talk to them about. Besides if I knew myself, I probably know that I really didn't want to talk to anyone. In all honesty, I really didn't even want to be here. I didn't want to go to the hospital, I didn't even want to be in New York.

Did that make me an awful daughter? That I didn't want to see my mother before she died. I was too much of a coward to say that out loud and much more of a coward to even want to admit it in my own mind.

The car pulled to a stop at Presbyterian Hospital. I didn't even wait for Andrew to open the door. I just opened it and stepped out, already walking through the double doors of what seems like the end of my life. Not my mother's life.

"Hello. I'm looking for a patient."

"Patient's name please" said the old nurse. She looked about in her late 40's going into 50's. she didn't seem like any nurses I know or normally hear that are rude and bored of being in the work place.

"Janine Hathaway"

She typed in the name and I guess when it popped up is when her facial expression changed. She got a sad faraway look. Maybe because something like this must've happened to her too.

"She's on the fifth floor in room ten. In the I.C.U."

I nodded. "Thank you"

I made my way to the elevator. A warm arm wrapped around my waist, squeezing my hip softly.

"Are you up for this?" Adrian whispered in my ear.

The elevator doors opened and I stepped in, right in between him and Dimitri.

I crossed my arms and stared up at the mirrors in the elevator before I closed my eyes and sighed. "I don't really have a choice"

"Just know we'll always be here for you no matter what Roza"

"I know" I whispered.

When the elevator dinged and the doors opened, all the breath I had left in me just vanished. I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to move, that I'd collapse right here…in the middle of a hospital.

That's not something I can afford to do right now. I have to be strong for my mom, and then when I get home. I could collapse.

I stepped out of the elevator, still with my arms crossed and my breathing, though not audible, was slowly coming along.

I was afraid that I wouldn't keep the promise I made to myself and pass out right here, right now.

As I got closer to her room, my head was spinning and I was getting dizzy. All of a sudden I'm weak?

When have I ever been weak?

I'm the daughter of Janine Hathaway. Most feared and prestigious lawyer in New York City. Who everyone respects, fears, and appreciates. If I get weak because of this, how can I live up to the name?

How can I show my so called father that I _can_ be better on my own than with him, thinking he can come back whenever he wants and claim he wants to take care of me?

No. I am Rose Hathaway and I don't freak out and I sure as hell don't pass out under stress. I will always be better than that. But I felt bad thinking this. But also I know I will always be better than my mom.

I would never let anything get to me like the way things got to her when my father stepped out that door two years ago.

So when I open the door I see my mother or what's left of her anyway. She has so many tubes on her. Her eyes were closed and the machine was breathing for her.

I wanted to break down. I wanted to yell and cry and do something besides stand here and watch her wither away minute by minute.

"Are you okay Roza?"

I didn't answer. I know if I did, all my control would break and everything that made me mad would come out & I would just end up being escorted out of here. I didn't want that. But I also didn't want to stay either.

She looks so different now. Her face is pale, her skin looks like it's aged overnight. She looks so vulnerable. She looks nothing like the Janine Hathaway I know.

"I still don't understand" I whispered.

"Understand what Rose?"

"How is it that I have to suffer all of this? I don't understand what I did wrong"

"Roza" he said in that soft melodious voice of his. "you can't blame yourself for any of this. Sometimes life just has unexpected surprises for us"

"I don't like surprises" I said in a firm tone "I hate them because they always cause something to go wrong. Look at this" I said pointing to my mother while looking back at him. "this is the worst surprise life has given me. In two years, I haven't had any kind of surprise that makes me believe that anything good will come out of it. It'll always keep getting worse"

Some of that was a total lie. Adrian and Dimitri were both two surprises that I would love to have over and over again. They're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. But I really couldn't think like that. I was hurting, and if I hurt them, right now I didn't care.

I needed someone else to hurt with me. I needed someone else to take away the pain that's lodged so deep inside my heart.

If Lissa was here, she would know what to do. She has an ability to heal me by just a single touch. I need some of that right now.

I don't know how long I stood there, with my arms crossed, and hearing the beep of the monitor. It was like time was being counted down until the flat line told me the reason I came here.

Three knocks interrupted the never ending spiral in my head. I don't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Come in"

I man in his early 30's maybe, walked in. he was reading the chart that I assumed was my mothers, he perched his glasses up from his nose with not such a reassuring look on his face.

"My name is Dr. Charles Reid. Which one of you is related to this patient?"

"That would be me" I extended my hand and he shook it.

"I'm really sorry Ms. Hathaway"

"Doctor, just please tell me what you came here for"

He nodded. "Well we're keeping her in a coma so she doesn't feel any kind of pain. We're hoping that it's helping because the tumor she has lodged deep in her brain, it could be causing her a lot of pain"

I felt bile rise up my throat. I felt like I wanted to let it all out onto the doctor's shoes. But I didn't.

I felt everything around me become different. I felt myself fading in a way that I don't think I'll be able to get out of.

I'm drowning inside my own head and there's no one to rescue me.

"So how long do I have to wait until my mother dies?"

"We were thinking that maybe," he sighed. "that maybe you'd give us the choice in taking her off her life support"

I tensed up. They wanted me to do what?

They wanted me to kill my mom all because of what?

"Is it necessary?" I ask in a shaky voice. I'm failing, and pretty soon I know I'll lose consciousness. This is all too much. He's asking me to do something I never thought in my life I would be a part of.

He softly sighed and I got the feeling that he didn't want to be asking this of me, but I'm guessing there isn't much choice. He couldn't ask Abe because after he left, my mom changed her will. If anything happens to her, I'm the only sole heir. I control everything.

I guess that also meant I control the last minutes of her life.

"In a way I deem it to be necessary. Because she isn't awake, doesn't mean that she doesn't feel the pain"

I nodded because I kind of guessed as much. I've seen some of these things explained in movies and television shows. But I never believed something like this would happen to me.

Still I couldn't really let her suffer slowly in pain without anyone knowing and not being able to help her in any way.

"Can I have a day to think about it?"

"Take whatever time you need Ms. Hathaway"

"Thank you doctor"

He nodded and stepped out. I looked back at my mother, the machines, the tubes and wires keeping her alive. The only thing keeping her alive…and now I'm being asked to basically murder her.

"Can I really do this?"

Adrian put his arms around me and squeezed lightly. "No, but you can always choose not to take her off life support and just wait it out"

"He's right Roza. You don't really have to do anything. This shouldn't be something that is left anywhere in your hands"

I shook my head. "I know. But you heard what he said. She can still feel the pain even though she's in a coma. How am I supposed to live with myself when I know that she's in excruciating pain?"

They didn't say anything because they knew I was right. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't let her be in any kind of pain, if I could prevent it from happening.

But then wouldn't that make me a killer? wouldn't that make me even more horrible than my father?

Yes. I would be worse than my father in a way, but in another, my mother wouldn't want to be this way. This is why I'm in charge now. I'm the one making decisions. Not my father.

One day I know I'm going to get over this. But for now, I know that what I'm about to do is the right thing, and no matter what I think, I knew my mom would want this. I know she would want to go out in some kind of glory. And I'm going to give it to her.

"I'm gonna do it. I have to do it. This is what she wants and I'm not going to deny her anything"

"Are you sure you want to do this Roza?"

I nodded and turned to them. "I don't think I have a choice. This is what she put me to do"

"You don't really have to make this decision right now Rose" said Adrian as he lightly squeezed my shoulder. "You have to think about it"

I shook my head. "No, I don't, this is what she wanted me to do, it's why she put me in charge. I'm the only person for this"

"You don't have to do what she wants Rose, you can just let her die in peace"

"She's going to be hurting Adrian, that's worse than pulling the plug and ending her suffering"

"Roza. You need to think this through"

"I've already made up my mind. There's nothing you can say that'll stop me"

They both looked at each other. Adrian sighed and Dimitri just shook his head.

"Okay Roza. We'll support you in anything"

"Thanks you guys"

My inner child is screaming that pretty soon, I'll lose my mother because of my own decision. But a long time ago, when I was a kid, she said I'll be in charge one day. That this is what I was meant to do. All of her was for me. That didn't change when Abe left, and it's not changing now.

I went out to the nurse's station and saw Dr. Reid filling out some paper work.

"Excuse me Dr.?"

He looked up, pushing his glasses up his nose again. "What can I do for you Ms. Hathaway?"

"I've made the decision about my mother"

"Are you sure you don't need some time in thinking about it?"

I shook my head, my arms crossed again, my fingers digging deeply into my palms, how am I not bleeding yet? Or I possibly am, but the numbness I feel deep inside is making me immune to anything.

"I want to take her off life support. I don't want her to be hurting. And when she's passed, please have her sent to the mortuary after the autopsy, where I'd like to donate whatever working organ she had left to anyone who needs it"

He nodded his head, a sad look on his face. I guess he sees this every day, I know I'd probably look like that every day if I worked this job.

"I just need you to sign some paper work and we'll get to it right away Ms. Hathaway"

"Just bring me whatever it is and I'll sign it right away"

"Ok, I'll have it brought to the room once everything is set up"

I nodded. "Thank you Doctor"

I walked back to the room and sat in the small uncomfortable couch they had in front of the window.

After an hour or so, still waiting for the papers to sign, my phone vibrated. It was a text.

Lissa.

"_How's your mom Rose?" _

"_**She's dying Liss. I just agreed to take off life support" **_

"_Oh my god! Are you ok? Do you want me to fly over there? Just say the word and I'll be over there as soon as I can" _

"_**No. that's ok Liss. After I finish burying her I'm heading right back to school. There's nothing left here for me anymore" **_

"_Rose…"_

"_**Don't argue with me Lissa. Please ok? I just want to do this in peace and move on with my life" **_

"_Ok. I'll be here as soon as you get back. Miss you" _

"_**Miss you" **_

"Who was that Rose?"

"It was Lissa. I told her to stay down there, no need for a crowd of people coming down, right after everything's done with my mom, I'm heading back to school anyway"

"Are you sure that's a good thing to do Roza?"

I nodded and looked down at the busy afternoon of New York City.

It really is true when they say that no matter what, the world doesn't stop when something's wrong with you.

I wish it would.

A knock came to the door and a nurse walked in.

"Ms. Hathaway?"

"Are those the papers I need to sign?"

She walked over to me and nodded. "Thank you" I said.

I signed my name every time I saw an X. I thought I wouldn't be able to. My hand was shaking uncontrollably each time the pen touched the paper.

I let out a sigh after I signed the last X. I handed the papers over to the nurse. And she nodded.

"In a couple of minutes the doctor will come in and shut off the machine" Then with that she left the room.

"Do you want some alone time with your mom Rose?" I looked back at those beautiful emerald eyes and I thought my heart would break more than it already was.

"No" I said. "I want you both here until I hear that flat line. Then I just want to go back home and sleep"

They both nodded and just stayed there in silence. Waiting with me.

The doctor came in a few minutes later. That sad look still on his face. I wonder what was wrong with him?

It was like everything around me passed in slow motion. The doctor walked over to my mother's machine and just shut it off. They took out all the tubes they had inside her. Just the heart monitor was left and as quickly as the heart beat came…it was gone.

And so was my mom.

* * *

**How'd you guys like this chapter?  
I had to listen to some pretty sad music to finish this.  
But tell me if you liked it.  
I definetely did.  
The new plot for this story is in my head, something that just popped  
out one day as I was skimming through my brain.**

Tell me what you think will happen next?  
And leave me the review love :P 

**Peace In Readers  
-Kristy**


	19. Chapter 19

**Ok guys I just finished editing this and I like how it worked out.  
I really wanted more detail but in some way I'm super blank.  
Still it's only gonna get good from here my loves.  
I hope you enjoy, I know I did when I finished editing. **

**VA = RM**

**Enjoy!**

_Chapter 19  
__Aftermath _

**RPOV **

**2 Months Later**

I was back at St. Vladimir's University. But I've been back for a while. Three days after I buried my mother I took a plane back here.

The minute I heard that flat line I left the room. Adrian and Dimitri right behind me, Abe coming out of the elevator the minute I was stepping into it.

The look in his eyes when he saw the look in mine.

I did what I said when I returned home. I locked myself in my room, scattered all my belongings, screamed till I couldn't anymore, and cried till I fell asleep.

What surprised was that the next day, Everyone and I do mean everyone. Lissa, Mason, Mia, Eddie, they were downstairs just sitting around. Waiting for me I suppose.

I didn't say anything and when I decided to fly back to school, no one said anything. I knew they were concerned though. But I didn't have it in me to care.

I think I feel fine now. There's no trace of sadness left.

But every time I have to say "I'm fine" I want to punch someone in the fucking face.

I do things normal, I'm not misbehaving, I'm not acting out. I don't do anything but do what I want to do. What the hell is wrong with everyone.

Still something is always missing for me. In some kind of way I feel incomplete. So when I feel lost, I have nothing to do but pump up my adrenaline.

I stared to race, the only thing that got me running.

I race almost every night. And I always win. Going one hundred and twenty miles an hour is all I can ever want. Who knew that all these people love the adrenaline like I do?

No one knows my real name, to them, I'm known as "Rey"

I don't race my car. No, that would get me recognized everywhere. I don't need the publicity. My life was already an open book.

Somehow the press got word of the death of New York's most prestigious layer Janine Hathaway and I was forever being personally called by reporters, and interviewers. I told Sydney to specifically put a permanent stop to it.

For now I wouldn't be in charge of the company. But specifically in my mother's will, I would be in charge indefinitely of Hathaway Law Firm. The house was mine, the money she's had since for as long as I can remember also belonged to me. _Everything _was mine. And her New York property was just the tip of the iceberg. I would never have to get a single job. And what with Abe kept giving me, I'd forever be taken care of.

So with that money I bought myself my favorite model type motorcycle.

A beautiful, sleek, 2010 BMW R1200R.

Blue and mostly fast. All for me.

I win mostly a thousand dollars a night. I don't even know what to do with it all. Money I don't really need, but know I deserve it. Just like I know I always deserve to win.

It was early afternoon and I was sitting in the student lounge, right in between Dimitri and Adrian. My head on Dimitri's shoulder, my hand playing with Adrian's family crest ring. This is where I felt most comfortable.

Christmas vacation was right around the corner. In less than two weeks, the school would be empty and I didn't know what I wanted to do. You'd think with all the money I have I'd want something. But I didn't, not yet anyway.

"So I'm thinking of going to Las Vegas to fuck around" Mason said.

We were all thinking of individual places to go after we spent a certain amount of time with our families.

"I think I might go to Australia" said Eddie. "Surfing and babes?" he smirked and shook his head. "Couldn't find a better Christmas present to give myself"

Mia shook her head. "You're such a pig. I was thinking Italy. I'm sick of the cold, and I want a good tan" She shrugged. "no better place than Italy"

"I totally know why you wanna go to Italy" I smirked. "you're such a whore" She stuck out at me and huffed.

"So what?" Mia said. "There's nothing wrong with me looking for a piece of foreign ass"

I laughed and I heard everyone else do the same too.

"I think I can agree with that" I said. "But I don't need any foreign ass. I think I'm okay with what I got" _Understatement of the year_ I thought to myself.

"You guys are unbelievable" Lissa said shaking her head. "Why not stay home? I don't really think there's anything wrong with that"

"Because some of us" I said. "don't have any homes"

"Oh Rose I'm-" but I put my hand up to stop her.

"I need to be alone" I got up from the sofa and started walking out. I could hear her footsteps right behind me.

"Go away Lissa. I just want to be alone"

"But-"

"No. just go away"

I didn't hear her behind me anymore. I was finally alone. So I walked to my solitary thinking spot.

I walked to the lake. My body sitting on the grass. My back pressed against the bench, my legs crossed and when I looked up I saw another full moon.

I sighed. This can't keep getting to me. Two months.

I've been fine. I feel pathetic and emotional.

I needed another race. I stopped two weeks ago after Adrian caught me.

_I was coming from a race where I just won three grand. A beautiful smirk plastered on my face. My poor baby had a big scratch on the front which I'd have to get fixed before they called me out again next time. As soon as I slipped in through the back part of the school where no one else ever went through, I put my baby in the messed up shed and covered it up. When I stepped out and closed the door, Adrian came out from behind a tree and scared the fucking shit out of me. I swear my heart was going a million miles an hour. _

"_What are you doing here?" I asked in a calm voice as I made my way back to my dorm. _

"_Why don't you tell me why the hell you're racing and I'll tell you what I'm doing here" _

_I sighed. Seriously was there something he didn't know about me? Seems to be his one thing, he knows it all. _

"_How long have you known?" _

"_A while" he said. _

"_I'm a big girl Adrian. I do know how to take care of myself. I don't need a baby sitter" _

"_I realize that, but I know the dangers of racing. I now what it's like to almost lose it all" _

_I turned back to look at him. "If you hadn't noticed, I've already lost it all. If there's anything left to lose and you know about it, please let me know" _

_He sighed and crossed his arms. "Fine. If you think you have nothing to lose then go ahead and think that way, but I have a lot to lose and I don't want you to take that away from me" _

_He walked towards me and embraced me. His hand on my lower back, his other hand placed on my cheek. His beautiful warm lips on my forehead. _

"_No more racing" he whispered against me. "Please?" the last part he whispered, his voice sounding pained. It tugged at my own heart. _

"_Only for you" I responded. I gave in so easily. Yet, I know there isn't much I wouldn't do for him. He was a weakness. Something I never had. As a child my mom told me that falling in love was her weakness. Her _only_ weakness. Now I know what she meant. And it makes my heart ache to know I have something I never thought I could have. _

I needed to release this, whatever it was that I have deep inside me right now. I need to race. But if I do, will he be disappointed in me?

Will he give up on me?

"Roza"

I didn't even hear him come up behind me, I'm more lost in my thoughts than I realized. I smiled. He knows me too well sometimes. My other weakness.

I looked up at him. Once again I remembered the night we first met, he looked beautiful with the moon shining on him. He is my own personal Russian God.

"Do you always know where I am, or do you just stalk me because of my undying beauty?" I teased.

"Well I can't argue with your undying beauty. You are beautiful Roza, but this is where you always go when your mind wants to wander. It's also our place."

I nodded. "That's true"

He came to sit beside my head. I placed it on his knee and he began to soothe my hair.

"Am I ever gonna get over death?"

"No one ever really does. It's hard I suppose. But has to be accepted because it is part of life"

"I know. But it's the pain I don't want eating me inside out. I wasn't normal before, but I was manageable in my feelings. There was balance. I don't have that anymore Dimitri"

"You'll have it soon Roza. No one stays this way forever. I would never let you stay this way forever. You know how much I care for you, how much you mean to me"

"I know" I whispered.

He got up and sat on the ground with me. His shoulder making a better spot for my head to rest. He was warm, always warm.

"Спасибо (thank you)" I whispered and softly kissed his neck. I was proud of myself for learning Russian. It made me feel better knowing that I could hide my feelings some other way. I bet Dimitri liked it as well.

"Приглашаем Вас Роза (you're welcome Roza)"

"поцелуй меня? (kiss me?)" I whispered against his neck.

His hold tightened around me. I don't know why I asked him to do that, but I felt that pull to him, he was another drug I couldn't get enough of. I didn't want to get enough of.

He didn't make a move. He just sat there and I know he was contemplating it. Between what he thought was right…and what I know he wanted. So I made the decision for him.

I slowly began to kiss his neck, moving at an immensely slow pace, giving him the time to pull away if he needed too. And when he didn't I sighed and felt him shudder.

I made my way up some more, finally getting to his cheek. I looked more closely to his face and his eyes were closed. I put my hand on his other cheek and made him face me.

"Open your eyes Dimitri" I whispered.

He opened them and the shade of brown never ceased to amaze me. They always hypnotized me into never looking away.

"Do you want to kiss me Dimitri?"

He grabbed my hand I placed on his cheek and he began to kiss my palm slowly, sensually. I let out a soft sigh. His lips felt amazing against my hand. I almost let out a small moan.

"Open your eyes Roza" he whispered against my hand.

I hadn't even realized I closed them. I've never seen his eyes look that way before. They were shining in the most beautiful way and also covered in the most sensual way as well.

I slowly pulled him to me and pressed my lips to his lightly.

The electricity I felt when those warm lips touched mine briefly was the utmost sensation I've ever felt.

So I pulled him to me again and this time for longer.

He tasted divine and when his tongue massaged mine I had to moan. It was amazing like the sweetest fruit on the tree.

He laid me flat on the ground, hovered over me and deepened the kiss. He never went further though. His hands only placed on my hips. He was being perfect in every way. I didn't ever want to stop kissing him, but I was running out of air.

So when I pulled away, he looked down at me and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted so much more. But I couldn't do it. Not right now, not when my feelings are all over the place.

"мой лучший друг (my best friend)" I said to him as I placed some un-kept hair behind his ear. It was always there. It made him beautiful though.

He smiled and laid beside me, intertwining our hands as we looked up at the stars. It was the best night of my life.

**OoOoO**

When I woke up the next morning, I was running late. I threw on my tight black jeans, my beat up converse, and my Paramore Small Womens t-shirt.

I was running down the stairs, out the door and when I rounded the corner I bumped into someone…again!

"Dammit what the fuck!" I landed right on my ass and it hurt like crazy.

"Late as always Rose and I see you still have that feisty temper"

I knew that voice, and I thought I'd never hear it again. When he left St. Vladimir's he said he'll see me soon. But I didn't expect this soon. A year later **is** too soon.

But when I opened my eyes and I looked up at him I noticed he hasn't changed since the last time I saw him.

The dirty blonde hair, the honey colored eyes, the toned muscles, and the perfect face. It was all there like I remembered it, but I just couldn't believe it.

He held his hand down to me and I grabbed it while he pulled me up.

Yeah, he was real, and he was here. Right in front of me.

"Matthew" I whispered.

"Rosalinda" he said with that cocky smile.

I sighed inward. Today was just starting.

And I thought my life couldn't get anymore complicated.

* * *

**I did not plan on introducing Matthew to this chapther but I  
kind of liked adding new issues to Rose's life. I love keeping my readers on edge.  
So tell me what you thought of Matthew?  
And what do you think his role is gonna be in this story? **

**Review my lovers. Id love to know what you think. **

**Peace In. **

**-Kristy**


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm glad that you guys like Matthew!  
Some people thought that maybe he was just a friend.  
But there's nothing fun in that, he's going to be a huge part of this story.  
& I also want to thank you guys for all the reviews you left.  
Made a lot of my days.  
So on with the story. **

_Chapter 20 _  
_Too Soon_

**RPOV **

The first love of my life was standing right in front of me after a year of not hearing from him. After a year of being absent.

I didn't know whether to cry, laugh, get angry, or just plain walk away and pretend that none of this happened.

"Matthew" I whispered.

"Rosalinda" he said. That trademark smirk that only he can pull off appearing right on that handsome perfect face of his.

That sparkle in his honey colored eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I had to snap out of it. I had enough complications in my life to let Matthew's return do more to me.

"I told you I'd see you soon"

He did. Before he left St. Vladimir's we spent our last night time together making love, remembering, laughing.

He comforted me when he saw in my eyes that I would miss him. He would just say 'I'll see you soon'

And when I woke up the next morning, the note that was right next to me with the words 'I love you' was the goodbye I got.

I didn't hear from him, I just thought about him for as long as I could and when I couldn't anymore, I erased him from my memory.

I never really knew why he had to leave, he never told me. All he said over and over again was 'I'll see you soon'

Now that he's here, again, right in front of me…

"Yeah, I remember those words" I said. "they were the only words I got when I wanted an explanation"

His face fell for a split second and then he regained it and just slightly smiled.

"I missed you though"

So did I. I missed everything about him.

I missed the way his honey colored eyes darkened a little bit when he opened his heart out to me. I was the only person he ever opened up to.

My heart skipped a beat but other than that I didn't let him see how much his words did to my battered broken heart.

"Yeah, I bet you did" I said sourly.

"Rosalinda" he whispered and I remember what that name did to me. The way a smile formed on my face, the way my heart fluttered, and butterflies adorned in my stomach.

"Don't call me that. That girl doesn't exist anymore. She's gone and the only thing that's left is Rose" I moved my hand up and down, showing him what was left of his Rosalinda.

He was the only thing that made me happy, besides Lissa and the rest of the gang, but then he left. He was in a way like my father. Leaving without explanation. I hated him for that. I thought he'd stay. But no explanation…

"We have to talk later Matthew. I'm already late and standing here 'catching up' and if I keep talking to you, I'll be ever later"

I started walking around him and I heard him walking behind me. I sighed. I know how he is. Persistent. In a way he was like my Adrian and Dimitiri wrapped in one.

The only difference is that Dimitri and Adrian captured more than my heart. They captured my soul. They have that power to unbearably crush me within reason. They're the weakness that I couldn't shake off if I wanted too.

Matthew did break my heart, but I still stood. Adrian and Dimitri…they could destroy me and I'd never resurface.

I turned around and looked at him. "Look I'm serious. I can't talk right now. I'm late. I want to go on Christmas vacation without a hitch. So please. We could just talk later. You could text me or I'll just see you. But right now I gotta go"

I started walking away and when I was pretty sure that he wasn't following me, I ran to class like I was doing the first time around.

When I arrived Mrs. Karmack gave me the stink eyes and I felt like I was thirteen years old all over again.

When I sat next to Mason he looked questioningly at me and I just shook my head.

I don't think anyone of the gang knew that Matthew was back and I bet they're going to receive the shocks of their life.

I couldn't even concentrate in class. Normally I can't concentrate anyway, but this time, my mind was complete blank. Nothing around me existed. I was alone in my head.

When someone nudged me a couple of times is when I finally noticed the world around me still existed.

"Rose" Mason said. "You okay?"

"Matthew's back" I whispered.

"What?" Eddie said.

I nodded and looked at both of them. "He's back" I felt like I was about to start to cry. But I can't. Matthew is part of my past. I'm in the present now and I have to keep moving onto the future.

"How do you know?" Mason said.

"I bumped into him after I ran out the dorms. He hasn't changed. he still looks the same"

I recognized the longing in my voice. I did miss him like crazy, but I needed to move on,

I had something great in front of me, I just needed to choose. But until Dimitri or Adrian ask me, I have something great until it's possibly taken away from me.

"That's great." said Mason. "I wonder why he's back though. I thought he was gone for good"

I nodded. Yeah, I thought he'd be gone for good too. No one knows why he left, and no one really knows that I went through some suffering while he was away. I just told them that he said he'll come back soon.

When we walked out the door, Christian was there waiting for us.

"Hey. Took you guys long enough. What's wrong Rose?"

"Matthew's back" Mason said.

"No shit!" Chris said. "When did he get back"

"I'm guessing this morning" Eddie said. "Rose bumped into him"

"Wow" said Christian. "It's great that he's back. It's been too long, I haven't heard from him in like a year or something"

Mason and Eddie nodded. "It'll be great catching up, seeing where he was" Mason said.

I really didn't want to know where he was. All that mattered was that he left, and he didn't take me with him.

"Alright I'm off" said Eddie. "I'll see you guys in English"

We waved bye and just kept walking to our next class. When we entered Algebra I went straight to Dimitri like I always did. Maybe he'd make me feel better.

"Hey" I said, placing my chin on his shoulder. He was sitting at his desk and when I saw he was reading a book of poetry I almost kissed him again. Especially when he was on the page with the poem of the very famous Jane Austen. Of A Ministry Pitiful, Angry, Mean.

I decided I wanted to read it to him.

"Of a Ministry pitiful, angry, mean,  
A gallant commander the victim is promptitude, vigour, success, does he stand  
Condemn'd to receive a severe reprimand!  
To his foes I could wish a resemblance in fate:  
That they, too, may suffer themselves, soon or late,  
The injustice they warrent. But vain is my spite They cannot so suffer who never do right."

I kissed his cheek and wrapped my arms around his shoulder.

"Good Morning Roza" he said in a whisper.

"Morning" I said with a small smile.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

I blushed and sat on top of his desk, facing him. "I slept really well that I woke up late"

He smiled. "That's not a good thing Roza, you should set your alarm"

I scrunched my nose. "I hate that thing. It's annoying and it makes beeping sounds and stuff"

He laughed and it sounded like music to my ears. Healing a little of my reopened broken heart.

"That's what it's for Roza"

I sighed. "I know, but I still hate it"

"Well think about it like this, in less than two weeks you'll be able to sleep in"

I put my finger on my chin and pretended to think. "Hmm, I think you may be right"

He laughed and I felt alive, so, so, alive. "Roza, what am I going to do with you?"

I hopped off his desk when Mrs. Spencer walked in. "You love me anyway" I said as I walked to my desk and sat in my chair.

I saw him shake his head and then I paid attention to the lesson. I had to make Mrs. Spencer like me somehow…

When the bell rang, and we exited Algebra the whole gang minus Adrian met in the hall before we had to disband for our next class.

"So I have something to tell you guys, since almost the whole gang knows" I told Mia and Lissa.

"What's wrong?" Lissa said

I shook my head. "Nothing, but I wanted you to know so you don't shit your pants or something"

Mia nodded her head. "Go on"

I took a deep breathe and exhaled slowly. "Matthew's home"

"WHAT?" Lissa and Mia said at the same time.

I nodded. "Yeah, I bumped into him this morning. It was a super shock"

Mia smiled. "I can't believe he's back" she said. "I missed him"

Lissa nodded looking at Mia. "I did too. I wonder how he's been I'm dying to know where he went"

"I said the same thing" Mason said.

"Now I can't wait" Lissa said.

"Yup" Mia said "He was like the most awesomest big brother ever"

"Who's Matthew?" asked Dimitri.

"Oh" Lissa said. "he's one of our closest friends who we grew up with. All of us have been together since we were five. He was here in St. Vladimir's till about a year ago. He left and we didn't know when he'd be back. But now he's back and I can't wait to see him!"

Lissa and Mia jumped up and down and I just rolled my eyes. I already knew this is the reaction they were going to have. Matthew had a spot in all our hearts, mine more than others.

The warning bell started to ring and we all said goodbye and headed for class.

I couldn't concentrate in Physics for anything the world.

So when my phone vibrated I welcomed it.

_I can't help but think something's wrong right now_

_-A_

I smiled. It's like he can feel my from all the way across campus.

_I don't know yet. _

_-R_

I didn't know what to say, I didn't want him to think anything was wrong. I haven't told him about Matthew or how he broke my heart, or how he was my first love.

_Then I was right when I said something's wrong? _

_-A_

I didn't want him to know through a text message. I wanted to tell him face to face.

I wanted to tell Dimtri **and **Adrian face to face.

_There is and there isn't. but before you ask what, can you just distract me until I see you for lunch? _

_-R_

I don't know how Adrian would react when he learns about Matthew.

But I hope it's a pass by kind of emotion. I couldn't take it if there was a jealous possessive side of him. I didn't want any fights with Matthew. He's a big part of my life in the end. We've grown up together and we love each other. Once as brother and sister and then as lovers. I want our relationship of brother and sister back.

Whenever we can talk, and I get the truth I hope we can go back to how things were. Matthew means so much to me and losing him would be like losing one of my best friends.

My phone vibrated again.

_I'll do whatever you want me to do. You already know that_

_-A _

I smiled. He's right. He'd always do whatever I'd ask him to do.

And that's how I spent my entire class time. Adrian and I texting. Him making me laugh quietly and I bet in whatever class he was in, he was containing laughter as well.

When the bell rang, I walked out before everyone else.

"Hey, I'm going to meet Adrian for lunch. Wanna tag along?" I asked Dimitri.

He nodded and I waved to Mia and Eddie. "I'm going to have lunch with Adrian and Dimitri ok? I'll see you guys later"

"Ok, I'll tell Lissa. Have a great lunch" Mia said.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong now, or should I just wait until we meet with Adrian?"

He's perceptive as usual. "Why don't we just wait until we're at the restaurant with Adrian so I can talk to you guys. There's something I need to tell you and I want to do it all at once"

"That's fair enough" he said.

When we arrived at the garage I already noticed that the gang's cars were gone. Damn that was fast.

"Took you guys long enough" Adrian said. He was standing by his car, looking like a male model from a magazine. His hair was still some of a mess, he was wearing slacks, button down shirt with a few buttons left open, and he had sun glasses on.

"Where's your coat?" I said.

He pointed to his car. "In the back seat. It clashes with my outfit"

I laughed and I heard Dimitri laughing too. "Seriously" I said.

"Of course. I mean come on, I do pay attention to my appearance once in a while"

"A little to much I would say. You're such a loser" I said.

He smiled. "The loser you love" he said in a sing song voice.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I'm gonna ride in my car. I'll see you guys at the restaurant" I literally skipped to my car and hopped in. I heard them laughing and I smiled just a little bit.

I plugged my I-pod and put on The Veronicas. "4Ever" started to play. That's enough to set the mood.

I was halfway down the secluded drive of the school when I heard what sounded like Evanescence Bring Me To Life playing.

I looked in my mirror and saw that it was Adrian, and behind him Dimitri. I smiled. I guess they wanted to make this interesting.

I beeped my horn once and sped up. This was going to be something fun for the next few minutes.

I sped up to eighty miles before they caught up with me. They were playing with me, I know their cars could go faster than that, I've been around fast sports cars and definitely fast motorcycles, and I know the speed anything creates.

They were toying, and it's something I wasn't cool with. I missed speed, I've been itching for another race. I feel like I've been deprived from a life line.

I guess right now this would do. Next time though, when "Rey" gets called out, she's going out to win.

**OoOo**

Finally when I reached the pizzeria I had a big smile on my face. Okay, so they let me win, but still, it felt good to feel that adrenaline I've been missing.

I don't know how long MacKenzie River Pizza has been in business but every time I come here, I leave full. Their pizzas are the friggin best!

So when we were sat in a booth by the back, away from the huge crowds seated at the tables, they both looked at me. I'm guessing waiting for me to talk.

Gladly a waitress interrupted before they basically forced me to talk.

"What can I get you guys?" I noticed that she was just looking at the two guys and giving them what seemed like a flirtatious smile.

I cleared my throat loudly and she reluctantly looked back at me.

"Three cokes, minimum ice. Bye now" I said.

She wrote it down and left. I'm betting with a scowl on her face.

I scoffed. What a bitch, obviously she wouldn't think they're both here with me in any kind of relationship way, but I don't care. Don't go flirting with what's mine bitch.

When I saw that they were still staring at me I sighed and a ran my hand through my hair.

"What do you want me to say?" I said.

"I'm guessing this has to do with Matthew" Dimitri said.

"Who's Matthew?" Adrian said.

"Matthew's the first love of my life. He left St. Vladimir's just about a year ago. I haven't heard from him since. I bumped into him this morning. I slept in and was running like a maniac"

"Was he someone really special to you?" said Dimtri.

"Well from what I remember Rosalinda, everything we had was special"

DAMN!

I turned around and he was standing right there. Wearing a dress shirt all rumpled, a loose tie, his black jeans, and beat up converse. His hair still a messy disarray. The honey colored eyes.

Yeah, this is bad.

"Seriously. I hate that part about you," I said. "you come out of nowhere" _just like someone I know._ I thought.

"You know how much I love this place"

I groaned inward. Yeah, this place has a lot of memories for us.

I don't need to recall those now. I just want to know where the hell he came from.

He walked towards my table and he stood there holding out his hand to Adrian.

"Matthew Hale. Nice to meet you"

Adrian shook his hand, and if he was annoyed in any way he didn't show it. "Adrian Ivashkov"

Matthew nodded. Then put his hand toward Dimitri. "Dimitri Belikov"

"Pleasure to meet you both"

"I'm saying this in the nicest way ever" I said to Matthew when he looked at me with a good knowing smirk on my face.

"I know, I know" he said with a very cocky look, raising his hands in apology. "I'll see you guys later then"

I sighed as I saw him walk up to the counter, flirting shamelessly with that fake boob waitress. Seriously I know he's doing it to spite me. Ugh! "I wonder about him sometimes" I said.

"He seems like a cool guy" Adrian said.

"I think he seems kind of fun too" Dimitri said.

I looked at both of them thinking that maybe I must've heard them wrong. I know that they cannot be serious.

"Care to order" said that blond flirty waitress said after she put down our drinks.

Maybe I can kick her ass and make myself feel better in the process.

….

Or maybe not. I know Adrian and Dimitri wouldn't like that one bit.

"Give us a large Rancher pizza pie and extra pepperoni. Bye now"

She scoffed again and left.

"Rose…" Adrian scolded.

"Hey! She was flirting so she needed to back off"

They both laughed.

**OoOoO**

An hour later we finished eating that nice amazingly tasty pizza.

When we paid, that stupid bimbo of a waitress still flirted with Dimitri and Adrian. I think Dimitri had to hold me back so I don't kick her fucking ass.

When we exited the restaurant, and made our way to the parking lot, I heard the most awesome sound. A motorcycle, but not just any motorcycle. A 2010 Ducati 1198S Corse SE. I recognize it from one of many races I've had. I didn't know the persons name, I just knew it was a guy, and he was racing right past me.

"I never thought I'd see that motorcycle again" I said out loud in wonder. I loved that bike. The speed was amazing, but I'm not experienced to ride it. But with a little more practice…I'll be experienced enough.

"Where have you seen it before?" said Dimitri.

"I beat him in one of my many races. He's really good. I always wonder why I beat him though, a Ducati is insane in speed"

"Maybe he knows a beautiful woman is behind that helmet"

I turned to him, rolling my eyes. "I don't think so. 'Rey' is always behind a helmet"

"Well" Adrian said. "maybe one day you'll get lucky and see who's behind the helmet"

Maybe I will.

**OoOoO**

We raced back to St. Vlad's and this time Adrian beat me. At least we had a lot of fun.

Parking the car back in the garage, I saw the Ducati. And Matthew stepping off of it.

"Son of a bitch!" he looked over to me and he looked like a dear in headlights.

Well at least that's what I remember anyway before I passed out.

* * *

**So what did you guys think?  
Im not big on detail...not my kind of style.  
& MacKenzie River Pizza is a real place, & really is in Missoula.  
The Rancher pizza is real. It has: Seasoned beef, pepperoni, bacon, tomato, red onion & green pepper.  
My tummy's growling just thinking about it.  
So I bet some of you guessed it was Matthew?  
Or maybe not...**

**Anywayz guys leave me review love. **

**Peace In Readers**

**-Kristy**


	21. Chapter 21

**WOW! I cannot believe how many of you guys like Matthew.  
Hes based on someone I know. Its nice to see how much you guys like him.  
SO I decided to post this because I wanted you guys to know a little more  
about Matthew and who he really is. **

**Enjoy! **

**Usual Disclaimer: RM = VA  
But Im glad to say I own Matthew :P**

_Chapter 21  
__The Truth? _

**RPOV **

So I heard voices, I heard arguments in harsh whispers. And when I opened my eyes, I was blinded by some bright ass light.

"Hey can someone turn off the light please. It hurts like hell"

"Rose?" Lissa said. I felt her grab my hand and give it a squeeze.

"Where am I?" I said groggily.

"The clinic" said Mia.

"And why the hell am I here?" I said in an angry voice. I don't like anything hospital related, and I only come in here when absolutely necessary.

"You fainted" said Adrian.

I didn't want to open my eyes. That stupid light is a piece of shit on the eyes man.

"Why did I faint?"

"Because you caught me"

Matthew?

That's right. He was the one coming off the Ducati. The same Ducati I've been racing for two months before I quit racing. I beat that rider and I wasn't even cocky about it. I know the speed of a Ducati. I've been tricked. And in more ways then one.

I opened my eyes and saw him standing by the couch where Mason and Christian were sitting.

"You're an asshole and a liar" I told him. "You've been back two months, maybe more. And all of a sudden you decide in showing up today? For what? Wherever the hell you were, you might as well just stayed there"

"What are you talking about Rose?" said Christian.

I sighed. "I never told anyone this, but after my mom died, I got into street racing. My vehicle of choice happened to be a motorcycle" I heard Lissa gasp next to me and I know I was in for a scolding and after said scolding a teary apology. "I was up against people who I bet were doing this for a while longer than I have. But when I beat them, I felt better. The speed plus the victory filled the empty hole I had in my heart. Every time I was called out, there was this one motorcycle that was there every single race"

I looked up to Matthew. "Yours" I pointed to him. "You don't think you could've killed the obvious. Because if I know you, you would've known who I already was when we first met on the track. You're disgusting and one big son of a bitch. How long have you really been back?"

I was so mad. If he was with me when my mom died, maybe I wouldn't have gotten into racing. Okay, maybe that's not true. But still he shows up out of the blue, after a year of disappearance, no explanation and decides to meddle in my life, and the worst part is that I didn't even know it.

"Can everybody leave the room please?" I looked to where Dimitri and Adrian were, and I knew they didn't want to. They knew about my street racing, they knew me all inside out. And they knew that even though I didn't want them to leave, it needed to be done. They can't always be there to support me and I'm not a little girl anymore. I don't need to be babied or taken care of being thought as such.

So everyone left and I was sitting up on my bed, with my arms crossed.

"What do you want me to say Rose?"

That right there caused me to think this was more serious than I thought. He hasn't called me Rose since we were six. He came up with Rosalinda when he had some weird obsession with Italy, and that's been my name for him ever since.

But I wasn't going to let it derail me. I needed to know why I suffered so much heart break for longer than necessary.

"I want you to tell me the truth! Why was I sitting here for over a year, without you, with endless tears behind everyone else's back, when you could've come back and spared me from it all?"

"I had to leave and I can't tell you why. No one but me and my parents know. I didn't want to worry you with something that was my burden alone. I didn't think for one second that I'd be to scared to come back and face you. You were always on my mind when I was away"

"That still doesn't answer my question. I want to know where the hell you were and why the hell I had to suffer through a broken heart when I didn't need to!"

I felt like I was on the brim of tears. Matthew was everything for me, and in turn I was everything for him. He knows everything about me. He knows what I had with Mason after my father left. He accepted me anyway. He knew who I was in all aspects of reality. But he broke my heart and I couldn't take it. Even if I said I knew what happiness was when I had my father and my mother together as a family, I was wrong. What I had with Matthew and with the rest of the gang was what made me truly happy.

And when Matthew confessed his love for me, I was finally there. I discovered love and I didn't want to let it go. But when he told me out of the blue that he had to leave and that I couldn't go with him. I was destroyed. I didn't care if my mom had a huge fit that I was going to miss a year's worth of school, I wanted to be with Matthew.

"I've suffered from Depression for as long as I can remember" he said. "I was always good at hiding it, especially when my parents sent to me a therapist during the summers to check me and make sure I wasn't a risk to myself, I still faked it. The medications helped I guess, but still. I had nightmares, I couldn't sleep sometimes, and I wanted to kill myself. One day I couldn't hide it anymore. My parents figured me out when they came to visit one weekend. They were telling me that I needed help. No more therapists during the summer, no more medication, I needed to get to the bottom of my depression. So they decided to send me to what I refer to as 'The Nut House' though it was anything but. My parents wanted to give the best money can buy, but in the end a doctor is a doctor and I ended up at the Presbyterian Hospital, in the Psych Ward for almost six months" he sighed and ran his hand through his messy dirty blonde hair. He used to do it when he was frustrated, or tired, or because he knew that I loved how he looked when he did it, but in the end, right now, he was doing it because he didn't want to keep going. "I was medicated on something low dosage, and seeing a therapist three times a day. I cried, I slept, I wrote, I was getting better. Day by day for six months and I was getting better. Finally." he looked to the ground now, and I'm guessing this story was coming to an end. "After I was released, my parents wanted me to come back to school. But I declined. I stayed in New York up until two months ago. I wanted to come and help you when I heard about your mom. I just didn't know if you wanted me there or not. I know leaving before you woke up, and having a simple note with no explanation wasn't the greatest decision I ever made, and I thought you might hate me. So when I heard that you came back. So did I, but I stayed away from St. Vladimir's. I was scared. So I went underground for a while. Well as much as I can go so my parents don't send a team out looking for me, and I went into street racing. The first time I saw 'Rey' I knew it was you. The rest is history"

Depression?

I've heard that it can be a very hard mental illness to deal with. Especially from a young age. But how could I not see it? We've been together almost all our lives and we were even closer when we became lovers. How ignorant am I to not notice that the man I loved was in trouble and that he needed me?

I felt like I've been swallowed whole in my stupidity. I was mad at him for leaving me with a broken heart, but I'm also sad that he couldn't trust me enough to tell me. I would've waited for him no matter how long he took to come back to me.

"Why didn't you tell me anything? You knew how much I loved you, I'd do anything for you, just like you'd do for me. That was our unsigned deal. I gave you everything of me. Everything. But you met me halfway and left me hanging even more. Even before we were lovers, we were friends, best friends. Who was I to you really if you couldn't trust me!"

Tears were already falling down my face. I couldn't contain them anymore. Matthew was in trouble and I couldn't help him. And my heart was broken because of something so simple. We've been friends basically since birth. I felt unworthy of him in a way. Like I didn't have a right to know what was wrong with him.

"I feel so un-useful" I whispered as I looked away from him, out the window at the dark sky. "You didn't trust me. I loved you and gave you all I was and am and you basically gave me nothing. You hid your real self from me. I don't know who you are anymore"

"I'm still the same Matthew you knew from childhood, and the Matthew you fell in love with. My problems might've been emotional, but the one thing I was sure about was the gang, and what you and I had. I never forgot about you when I was away. You were the one thing that motivated me to get better. I wanted this so I can be with you without any baggage. Our last night together was always in my thoughts. The slow passionate love we made, the declarations of love. It was all in here" He put his hand over his heart and I didn't know what to say to that. I can't give my heart to anyone anymore.

Not when the two men outside hold it completely.

"I can't tell you that I'm love with you anymore. You were gone and I went back to my lifestyle. I changed a bit more and just did what I wanted, not what other people wanted.

And when I arrived back here, I'm captured by the most wonderful men I've ever met. There's no room in my heart for you the way it used to be"

"I know you" he said in that familiar voice I used to love. "I know that I can get back my place in your heart. Because no matter what you say," he walked over to me and stood right in front of me. That smell of his, that little electric spark I feel in the air… "I know what I do to you. I know the real you and I still love her, just like she loves me too"

"You don't know what you're talking about. I needed to change because every day people change to become someone better. When you left, though I was heartbroken, I needed to change because being stuck on who I was, was too hurtful. Nothing changes because you came back into my life." I don't know if I was lying to hurt his feelings or if I was really lying to myself. Matthew is special to me, he knows me, he's seen all of me.

Does my heart want to belong to Matthew again?

Meanwhile, do I want it to belong to him again?

My life is so complicated. Is there anymore I can take before I erupt?

I don't know anymore, but what I do know is I can't let his return take over my life in any way.

"Rosalinda" he whispered. "I know everyone has to change, I know all about change. But I know somewhere deep down you still love me, just as I love you" he took my hand and put it over his heart. He felt so warm and in return it warmed me as well. "This heart only beats for you," he ran his hand through my hair and softly cupped my cheek "and everything I am is for you. I know it'll take some time, but I will win your heart again. I promise"

He looked like the old Matthew when I stared into those honey colored eyes. That promise he made just now reached a small portion of my heart and enveloped it in heat.

"You can make a promise all you want" I took my hand back and stared straight at him, showing him how I feel, what I mean. "I don't know if my heart will ever belong to you when you broke it in the past"

He smiled a beautiful genuine smile and it almost made me want to smile in return. "I can guess your heart Rosalinda, and I think if I try hard enough, it'll forgive me"

Is he right? Would my heart forgive Matthew?

There's to many questions and I don't have it in me to answer them all.

"You can try all you want Matthew. But I don't know if it'll get you anywhere"

He smirked and backed away from me, and opened the door. "Whatever you say Rosalinda" he smirked and walked out, leaving me in an even more confused situation.

When I heard the door open, I looked and saw every one was gone but Dimitri and Adrian.

That's not so shocking.

"Hey" I said to them with a smile on my face.

"How are you feeling?" said Adrian.

"Tired" I said scratching my head.

"You gave us quite a scare Roza"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I hate that fainting shit. I've only done that once. It wasn't really pleasant" Isn't that the truth. "Where's everyone else?" I said.

"They went to do different things. I think Lissa and Mia went to your room to make you more comfortable, Mason and Eddie I think went to get you something to eat, and Christian went to talk to Matthew since he left with him"

"Yeah, I'm guessing I know what he's going to talk to him about" I grumbled.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" said Dimitri.

"I don't know. I mean I got the answers that I wanted but I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. And then he promised to win back my heart. I'm confused. I don't know what to say to that, or what to do about it. I don't want to give him any kind of false hope, and at the same time, the girl in me wants to see him try. Is that a bad thing?"

"In a way, yeah it is" Adrian said.

"I'm horrible" I said as I laid on my back with my arms stretched over my head.

"No you're not Roza. You're confused, you're only human and how you feel will always be a mystery to yourself"

"But I don't love him. My heart belongs elsewhere and him trying to take it is like stealing it out of where I want it to be. I don't think that's fair"

I found myself staring out the window again. The view upside down made me feel like this is how my world looks. Nothing's in place. I don't know what I want anymore and I don't know if that's really true. I contradict myself when it comes to my feelings. I'm one big mess.

No, that's not true. I was happy when Adrian and Dimitri came into my life. Things made sense, and I was happier than I ever thought possible. Yes our relationships were complicated because of the simple fact that I was in love with them both. They've become my weakness in more ways than one.

It was Matthew. His return stirred up things within me that I thought went away. His promise to win back my heart, his deception.

"What am I going to do now?" I sat up as and looked back at the two of them. They were everything for me. One day I'll tell them how I feel. And then when they find out…

"Worry about that later" Adrian said. "because right now, you need to go back to your dorm room and relax. We still have class tomorrow"

"I don't wanna go to sleep. I'm too confused to sleep" I whined.

"Would you feel better if Dimitri and I hung out with you in your room?"

"That sounds like I'm scared of the dark" I pouted.

He snickered and Dimitri laughed.

"Come on Roza. Let's just get you to your room and then whatever you want to do when you get there, we'll do"

"Hey, I'm not a child ya know" I pouted again.

"Maybe not but you're still our princess" Dimitri said, taking a strand of my hair in his finger. That didn't sound like anything someone would say to a child. He sounded serious and I smiled at that one the inside.

"Very true" Adrian said. "You're the princess who's captured the hearts of two princes"

"You guys are cheesy. But it's why I love you"

They laughed and for a bit all was right in the world.

* * *

**So I decided not to give you guys much of a cliffhanger.  
Im also thinking that maybe Ill do a MPOV chapter?  
Im not sure yet. What would you guys think about that?  
Also how would you like Matthew making that kind of promise to you?  
I cant wait to see what you guys will think about what I have in store for  
Rose, Dimitri, Adrian, & Matthew. **

**So leave me some review love! **

**Peace In Readers **

**-Kristy**


	22. Chapter 22

***Ducks under my bed*  
I am so sorry you guys. Dont kill me, I know I am super late  
but I have so much things going on the RL that I've left my stories all alone  
But this chapter was written as a peace make for you guys...  
**

**Enjoy!**

Usual disclaimer = RM owns VA all the way  
But I own Matthew ^_^

_Chapter 22  
__A Million Miles Away in The Past _

**RPOV**

Listening to Smash Mouth at home in New York was not how I'd wanted to spend my Christmas vacation.

Something exotic to show off my money would've been the right thing to do with my new found standards.

But no.

Three months after losing my mother, I've come to the place I've called home. I don't know if anything with leisure filled, or exotic experiences, would've taken my mind off of all the people I miss, and the promises spoken to me before I departed St. Vladimir's.

"_When you come back I'll win your heart. I promise" _

I sighed. Matthew still thinks that my heart belongs to him. I don't tell him no, but I didn't tell him yes either. I know whom my heart belongs to.

They're across the world right now and I hope they're thinking of me like I'm thinking of them. It's their confessions and promises that make me wonder the most.

_Adrian and I were sitting in the student lounge alone after sharing a wonderful dinner with our friends…and Matthew. _

_Now we're sitting by a warm fire, drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies. I felt at ease with him and I feel bad that him and I are going to be separated for almost a month because of the holidays. _

_I was almost going to beg him to come and stay with me during the holidays because I didn't want to be alone, but my pride wouldn't let me. So I just cherished the time I could before we all left the next day. _

"_It's gonna be weird not seeing your beautiful face every day" he said. _

_It's like he could read my mind. He always knew. _

_Like my emotions are an open book for him. _

_But right now that didn't matter. I wanted to stay with him like this for as long as I could. _

"_It'll be hard for me too. And yes I did mean your beautiful face" I smiled and he chuckled. _

"_I'll take your word for it meu înger" _

"_Are you ever gonna tell me what that means?" _

_I remember the first time he called me that. I was giving into the desires that might help me forget everything. He stopped but I remember his hands, the look on his face. His eyes and the way the darkened with lust. They were beautiful. Just like him. To me at that time, it was about forgetting, but I know I could never forget anything that has to do with him. _

"_No" he said answering my question from earlier. " I actually would like to keep that to myself until the time's right" _

_I huffed and his smile widened. "You know I could ask anyone else" I said. "Or go on the internet and look it up. I'm pretty good at sounding things off" _

_He shrugged nonchalantly. "Whatever you want Rose" He smiled knowingly at me, he knew I wasn't going to do anything I just said. _

_Cheater. _

"_You don't fight fair Adrian" I whined. _

_He chuckled and pulled my closer to him. "When did I say I every played fair in anything?" _

_I laughed and put my head in the crook of his neck. I could feel his heartbeat in tune with mine. _

"_That's true" I said. _

_I don't know how long we sat there in blissful silence, but it's amazing. _

"_If I told you something," he said all of a sudden. "would you promise not to freak out afterward?" _

"_I don't think I'll freak out but sure I promise. Go ahead" _

"_If Matthew wants to fight for you…then so do I" _

_I tensed up and sat myself upright so I can get a better look of his face. _

"_You don't know Matthew wants that. Besides I don't want him to 'fight' for me. I don't love him anymore" _

_He was looking at me, trying to read my face to see if I was telling the truth. I know I was. And now so does he. _

"_I know that he does. What guy in their right mind wouldn't? that's why I'm telling you this now. I don't want you to think I don't feel anything for you, because I do. I do and I want to get the chance to prove it. _

_I grabbed his hand and threaded his fingers with mine. _

"_You don't have to prove anything or show me anything. I can see it in your eyes, feel it in your touch. The way you smile at my lame jokes" I smiled and he chuckled. "It's all there and I see it" _

"_I still want to do this. I want to try and be the _only _one in your heart" _

_He had me there. And he did have the right to try right? _

_I know he's not the only one who's residing in my heart. _

_Dimitri is also. _

I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I know Dimitri, and of course I know Adrian.

I told myself if I caused a fight over my heart between these two brothers, I was going to back away.

But I can't.

My heart won't take it and I don't want to lose them.

Dimitri didn't have to declare anything to me.

The day we parted St. Vladimir's, he hugged me, kissed my forehead, and when I looked into his eyes…they said it all.

I slumped back into my bed. I really don't know what to do about this.

Right now though, I don't want to think about it. I'm home and the music is as loud as it want it.

**OoOoOoO**

I didn't want to stay home if I could afford it. So I went everywhere I could in New York the weather would allow me too.

I journeyed through Times Square like a tourist, I actually imagined what it'd be like if I ever bought a ticket to one of the famous plays I've heard some people talk about, I go to the M&M store and I'm in heaven. I love candy and all the other little trinkets that they have here, I eat a five dollar pizza and it's worth every penny because it's the best I've had. I venture into the Hard Rock café and admire The Beatles remembrance you fist see when you walk into downstairs. I've always been a fan of the classics and the not so classics.

Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Kid Rock, Carlos Santana, Led Zeppelin, The Who. Yeah, maybe one day I'd have the guts to buy some of this stuff and have a room cleared out at home for me to ogle it when I'm feeling in the music kind of mood.

I look at some of the things people sell by the movie theater and I buy one. A handmade necklace I think I'm going to give Amanda for being as awesome as she is. Though I already know that she thinks that.

I smile to myself and let my mind wander to Russia. They're there and I haven't spoken to them or anyone since I've been in New York.

I wonder how everyone's doing.

I haven't seen my so called father either. I can safely say that he's possibly with Natasha and Christian for the holidays.

I still can't believe in some way or another I'll be related to him.

I'm glad he's stop pursuing me for now. I think he took what I told him last time we talked about our feelings seriously.

He needs to make up his mind. And I know he'll choose Lissa. He was never meant for me and I know I wasn't meant for him.

My phone beeps and I pull it out. A text message.

From Mason.

_**Hey beautiful. What are you up 2?**_

I smiled. Well at least someone's thinking about me. I do miss my friends, but they have family they need to spend time with and just talking to lonely Rose Hathaway isn't really how I think they want to spend their Christmas time.

_**Walking Times Square…didn't want to be home alone. **_

_**Well if it isn't so much of a bother I wanna stop by. I'm in New York for the night. Need a familiar face instead of a corporate X-mas party. **_

I smiled. _**Sure. I need some company anyway. So youre welcome in my house. How long till you get there? **_

_**Half an hour? **_

_**Awesome. :)**___

I called the house and Amanda answered.

"Can you have Andrew come and pick me up please. I'll try and make it to 50th street so traffic won't kill him."

"Okay Rose"

"Oh! And also, Mason's coming over so of course he's gonna wanna raid the fridge so make him his favorite"

She laughed. "Okay will do"

"Thanks Amanda" and I hung up.

Now I was a bit happier. Still I wish Adrian and Dimitri were here, don't get me wrong. I love my friends and I'm glad Mason wants to keep me company instead of some corporate office party his dad must've forced him too, but I would've loved hearing one of **their **voice so much better.

Andrew picked me up half an hour later. Telling me Mason was already at the house eating his favorite food. A large pizza pie with extra cheese and pepperoni. Yes, Amanda is that awesome.

I look out the window and bits of snow is slowly falling. The first one of the month. I remember loving to play in the snow when I was younger. Making snow angels, building snowmen with Lissa or Mason when they came over. I loved everything that had to do with Christmas when I was a kid. Now I don't have the same concept. I'm alone, wishing I was with the men I love, wishing my mom was still alive.

When I arrived home Mason was sitting in my living room, watching some Boomerang cartoon while munching on the last slice of pizza.

"Why is it that you always come over, and I never get one slice of pizza?"

He looked back at me with a smile and patted the seat next to him. "That's because it's made for me specifically. It'd be weird and absolutely wrong for me to even share a piece of _my _pizza"

I laughed and sat next to him. He was watching Dexter's Laboratory. "Well maybe I should just tell Amanda next time to make only me a pizza. Let's see how you like it"

He looked shocked. It was hilarious. "Come on now Rosie. I'm a growing boy, I need all the food I can get"

I laughed and hit his arm lightly. "I think you've grown enough don't you think?"

"Nah. I think I have a little more to go"

I shook my head. "You sir are a dork"

"So that'll make you DeeDee?"

"Oh most definitely"

We laughed and continued watching the show. I felt at like any moment my mom was going to walk in and say it was time to go to bed. Sometimes she'd be home to tuck me to sleep instead of sleeping on the long sofa at the office.

But that's not going to happen. This is reality and not a dream, though sometimes I wish my dream could also walk through that door and put a smile on my face.

"Why did you come back here?"

I sighed and laid on the arm of my couch, my legs on his knees. "Because even though I have all that new money, you guys, and partying is what I do best. I'm just not into it. I feel like I should be mourning just a little bit more. I cant just let three months pass with me being cool about it can I?"

He started rubbing my foot and I sighed softly. "Of course you can. You know I know you as much as Lissa does. I know how you think and feel. Well sometimes. But if this is how you are, then why are you fighting it?"

"Because maybe I need to change"

"People always change, but not when they're forcing themselves to do it"

I smiled at him. "When did you get smart?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. One day I just was"

I laughed and pushed my foot into his hand. "Come on keep going. I've been walking for a while now and that feels awesome"

He smirked. "I know"

This is how we spent the rest of the night before he had to go home and get ready to leave New York. He said he wanted warmth. I didn't blame him. I wanted that too, but then again I think I'd miss the snow and the showing of my breath when it got really cold.

So when six o'clock in the morning arrived, we were still awake and I was saying goodbye to him.

I was alone again.

"Breakfast sweetie?"

I nodded when I closed the door. "Thanks Amanda"

She made me eggs, bacon, tater tots, served me a big glass of orange juice, and on the side chocolate pancakes.

It was a happy morning.

"I'm going to sleep for a while okay? If Abe calls just tell him I'm home and to stop by whenever he feels like it"

She nodded putting the dishes in the dishwasher. "Okay sweetie. Good Morning"

I smiled and made my way up to my room. "Good Morning Amanda"

I stripped into my underwear and tank top I was wearing and was already asleep before I hit the pillow.

And even though I was asleep, my thoughts were millions of miles away on the two guys who have my heart.

* * *

**So how's that for making it up to you guys?  
A lot of my fans wanted some Mason so there you go.  
Next chapter is being put on paper as I type.  
I promise that I'll try and be on time with this one.  
So show me you guys are still with me and give me some review love**

**Peace In Readers **

**-Kristy**


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